Grief: The Monkey in the Room

interview 2

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If grief were a time of year, what time of year would it be?

Fall. Things are starting to die and dry and move on.

I also associate it with my own loss. I lost my sister around October.

A part of me gets sad with out me even being aware.

What does the word grief mean to you?

Grief is wanting to hold somebody so badly that you can see them, smell them, taste them and almost feel them, but they’re not there.

It’s like trying to hold dust.

Grief doesn’t ever really go away. It’s a very human thing.

How do you live with that?

Talk about it. Feel it. Cry.

I allow myself to experience it. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself.

Don’t shove it away so quick. It will move on on its own.

I also know that she’s not in pain, and that gives me comfort.  So then it’s just about me.

How has grief had a positive impact on your life?

I enjoy simple things and savor the moments of watching everything around me, everyone around me.

I’d rather have a sh*tty day with my kids than a death certificate.

I have learned how to swallow around the lump and keep living.

How do you feel our society accepts grief?

We are very quick to tell people how the process should look.

I don’t know if we really accept it or allow each other to feel it. We’re supposed to jump up quick and go back to our lives as they were.

Life changes when you lose somebody. You change.

And that’s okay.

But I don’t know if we really allow ourselves to move through it naturally.

People are uncomfortable talking about it.

I am less so because of my own experience.

I had a near death experience once, and I know there is another side with something waiting for all of us. Believe me, these two worlds are not that far apart. It’s like a thin pane of glass that we’re looking through, and they are right there.

It’s good to talk about them.

I talk about my sister all the time and that helps me tremendously. Because then I’m not just sweeping her under the rug.

If grief were an animal, what animal would it be?

A dark faceless shadow piñata.

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