Why are you getting everything right, but love?
In the office, you’re unapologetic. When you’re goal setting, you have the eye of the tiger. So, naturally
you take the same energy that has helped you to smash glass ceilings, cloak it over your shoulders, and embody it proudly in intimate settings.
And that’s just it. The energy that often helped you break through obstacles and to get ahead professionally is a beautiful and strong masculine energy that is rewarded with each achievement you make.
However, the thing about masculine energy is that it works beautifully in the boardroom and could be a disaster in the bedroom.
For a masculine man, going home to a woman who resides in her masculine energy can often feel like being back at the office. So, he says he’s too busy for a relationship. Which actually means that being with you feels like work.
After traveling to Paris to study the Divine Feminine, I searched for more examples of ways to be a powerful lady boss, who is also connected to my feminine energy. I found the blueprint in one of the most unlikely of places, Beyonce’s Lemonade album.
Beyonce gave us a beautiful lesson on how a woman can be both a professional force and a queen to an evolved man.
These four lyrics straight from the Lemonade album also serve as a blueprint for how to keep your boss lady card in perfect form and be valued and adored by your equal:
1. “Show me your scars and I won’t walk away/Every promise don’t work out that way.”
When we attempt to appear perfect or encourage our men to do so, this is a form of hiding. When one hides, there is a lack of connection. Show him where it hurts and allow him to do the same. Our masculine traits encourage us to appear perfect, so that our vulnerability won’t get us hurt. But, when you use your feminine energy, you have nothing to shield or protect and you know that this is also a powerful strength. Shed the perfection and he will see that you view him as worthy of truly seeing you and being seen himself.
Be aware of all of the times that you take the hide and seek route with your man. When you hide and seek, this often looks like ending things quickly, hanging up on your partner, or merely hiding your feelings. This is not being feminine. It’s actually using your masculine energy as a form of control. One of the best ways to have him open up to you is by having fun with him.
Play and play often. Period.
2. ’Cause you, you, you, you and me could move a mountain/ You, you, you, you and me could calm a war down.”
As yin and yang to one another, you are a mirror to your king and he is one for you. As he stands before you, he not only represents all of the beauty that you are and that you attract, but he also represents the things that you need to face. However, we often fail to make it to this part of our partnership by attempting to control things. This type of control may look like wanting to make sure he sees us on social media, giving him ultimatums, or even complaining to him about how often he calls.
Language is key in building your partnership with your man of value. Refrain from using words like “always” and “never” and provide feedback that is void of blame. Go with “I feel” or “I would like,” rather than “You need to” or “You don’t.”
3. “I am not broken, I’m not crying/ I’m not crying / You ain’t trying hard enough ‘ You ain’t loving hard enough?”
As a queen, it’s never your position to try to change a man. Be real. Be vulnerable. You have two choices: You can choose to keep him or release him. Stand your ground and honor your choice.
Discuss things from a state of love, not separation. In every encounter with him, your goal is always to have him leave the conversation with his dignity intact. That is using your feminine energy to the highest degree and representing yourself as a high value woman.
4. “Ten times out of nine, I know you’re lying/ But nine times outta ten, I know you’re trying/ So I’m trying to be fair/ and you’re trying to be there and to care.”
Just like life, love is about the journey and not the destination. Because we often achieve our success by looking at the bigger picture, we often lose sight of the journey that is occurring in the moment. How many times have you been completely annoyed with a man for doing something that “my future
husband will never do?” Yes, it’s important to have standards. However,
it’s also easy to lose what you need by focusing on what you want.
Consider things from his point of view. It’s easy for us to tap back into masculine energy and overanalyze. Whenever you consider, “What does this mean?” Also consider, “What am I making this mean?”
It’s a powerful exercise.
There are so many beautiful pieces to who you are and all around you there are clues and yellow bricks toward truly having it all. You can be adored in the boardroom, in the bedroom, and beyond. But, be aware of the different types of energy you embody.
Here’s to knowing when to be a boss, and when to be open, gentle, and highly valued.
Go get your man, Queen.
Originally published at medium.com