I was never one of those high-performers. Growing up, I was often labeled as “high potential” by peers, family and mentors. But that potential never really got me anywhere. While it isn’t hard work that can get us to our destination, you still need grit to complete a project or a life plan.
I’ve seen the Start With Why YouTube video Simon Sinek became known for. I remember feeling so excited about finally knowing where I should begin. But there’s one problem: no one’s actually talking about the how. Getting there isn’t exactly as easy as already high-performers are making it out to be.
How do I know this “why” that everyone’s talking about so I can finally be a high performer?
How do I stop watching the motivational videos and actually start applying
everything I’ve learned.
At the start of the lockdown, I was fairly okay. I had a job that I liked a lot but lost it just a day before the lockdown. No, not because of the pandemic. But I was once again distracted from what I thought was my “why” and “life goal” and I eventually ran out of gas.
The pandemic became a blessing in disguise in that I had no choice but to sit with the choices I had been making and really face myself. In April, I started experimenting with habits and really taking notes on which ones will have the most impact on me. And here we are. had the most impact on my mindset.
- Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. I’ve been doing 15-minute meditations for years and even hour-long ones but nothing has made me understand myself and my relationship with the unknown more than this book.
Once you got your stubborn self out of the way of your true purpose, you can start optimizing for your daily life as you work towards your soul’s purpose.
You can think of plenty of why’s for your life, your ego can come up with ones similar to everyone else. But none would make you move as swiftly and not give up so easily as that of your soul’s purpose.
It’s woo-woo but if you’re desperate enough, you should get over that ego that tells you there’s no such thing as a soul and actually give Untethered Soul a chance. It’s an easy read, don’t worry.
The next two steps are what I did to make habits stick.
I have observed over time that trying to be something I’m not is what’s keeping me from actually doing things that are good for me. Making good habits stick lasts more when you slowly accept new versions of you. Think of it as micro-upgrades.
- Affirmations and mindfulness.
Listen closely to your self talk. Hear every word you tell yourself. At the start of the lockdown, 90% of the words I hear are put-downs.
“You’re so inconsistent and lazy and unreliable.”
I would literally open up my browser and type in “opposite of lazy” “opposite of unreliable” then I write down the opposite words as an affirmation and use them throughout the day.
“I’m allowing myself to be reliable and hardworking.”
“I’m allowing myself to enjoy the process.”
I notice that when I use “I am” before an affirmation, my body tenses up which means I’m rejecting the thought. So I started using the words “I’m allowing” and “I’m making it natural” or “It’s natural for me to be…”
Credits to Marissa Peer’s YouTube for giving me the idea on how to frame my self talks.
- The Ho’oponopono Technique. I only started doing this for a little under 2 months but the effects on my business and my relationships with people have improved dramatically.
Everytime I feel tension towards a goal or a person or I find myself judging myself, my thoughts on something, someone or a situation, I immediately say these words…
“I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I forgive you. Thank you. I love you.”
I repeat this mantra or chant (just in your head of course, if you can’t say it out loud) until I feel better and do not feel too much tension.
Doing these things have opened up doors for me: from attracting job offers to pushing through with a business I was almost going to give up on for lack of time and money. It can now be run with just around 10% supervision from me.
More importantly, they have made me get to the next step from watching motivational videos: they’ve made me get up, get out of bed, and want to do things and complete them.
Send me an email if these helped you in any way or let me know if you’ve tried something similar.