Giving Yourself Permission to Love Again

Because you are worthy and deserving of love

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres on our open platform. We publish pieces as written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team and must meet our guidelines prior to being published.

After any heartbreak, our initial human instinct is to shut down and to wall off the very thing we perceive caused the hurt and suffering in the first place.  We vow never to be vulnerable again. Often, we decide to go through life alone, thinking that must be the only answer. Because hey if you don’t leave the door open love won’t come to a knocking, right?!

We have all done it …. But in all honesty shutting down never serves us in fact we end up hurting ourselves more but this time it is self inflicted hurt which we seem to be able to tolerate. 

So how do we move on and allow love back in, when the thought of being vulnerable again makes us nauseous? Glad you asked! 

Its time to Journal your heart open! Here are some journal questions that will allow you to unlock your heart and allow love to walk back through the door.

#1 What did my parents teach me about romantic love and relationships? The positive… and the negative.

#2 What worked in my past relationships? 

#3 How do I want to FEEL when I am in a loving relationship?

#4 Write example of a healthy loving relationship you have seen (friends, family, coworkers)

#5 Write out all the characteristics you would love your next partner to posses. Get very detailed try and write a list of 100 traits, attributes, mannerisms etc. you would love him or her to come with.  

#6 Who do you want to present as in this new relationship? Is there anything you need to be doing personal growth wise to become someone that this amazing partner will be attracted to? Remember like attracts like 

#7 Describe a time when you were vulnerable and loved full out and it was received positively.  If you can create a success log of many instances when you did this.  This can be with a friend, family member, animal, co worker etc. 

#8 Write a letter to your ex’s … yep each one… thank them for the positive things they brought into your life and thank them for the life lessons you learned while you were together. At the end of each letter let them know that you’re now moving on but appreciative of your time together. Don’t start freaking out lol you do not need to mail them. These letters are only for your growth and you can feel free to burn them or leave them in your journal without ever re reading them.

#9 Write a letter to your future spouse/partner letting them know how glad you are that they showed up and how they make you feel and how thankful you are for them being such a beautiful add on to your life. 

#10 Make a list of how you plan to stay an independent person inside of a relationship.

    Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

    You might also like...

    Hands touching each other after discovering their breakthrough

    How A Breakup Can Lead To A Breakthrough

    by Sara Emily

    Keidi Janz: “You are whole and complete all by yourself”

    by Ben Ari
    Hiding from Vulnerability is not a choice

    How Authentic Vulnerability Can Bring the Best Out in You

    by Jessi DeTerra

    Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

    Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

    Thrive Global
    People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.


    We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.