Get Yourself a Confidence Role Model

Even if She's Fictional

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Are you struggling with self-confidence or imposter syndrome?

Consider finding someone worth emulating and pay attention to how they move through the world and to the collection of attributes which makes them admirable. Specifically. Observe how they sit, stand, walk, speak, and so on. How they carry themselves.

And what do they wear? How do their clothing choices communicate something about them and what is it? Take those observations and find ways to incorporate, but not imitate what you noticed. You may want a wardrobe makeover, which works wonders on confidence. Good, well-made and properly fitting clothes are essential, in my opinion, to feeling confident, especially in a business setting.

Diane Lockhart from The Good Fight and The Good Wife is my own personal example of a confidence role model. I admire how she conducts herself with confidence, poise, and humor. No. Matter. What. She has a has a killer wardrobe, a necessary supporting character in any endeavor requiring confidence. And she’s impeccable.

I used to like channeling her back when I was a litigator. She seemed so impervious and regal. I liked her attitude and didn’t care that she was fictional.

A favorite moment of mine in the most recent season of The Good Fight occurred between Diane Lockhart and Elsbeth Tascioni, whose character is polar opposite of Diane’s. All nervous energy and offbeat optimism, Elsbeth actually has to overcome the impression she makes with her incomparable trial tactics. Conversely, Diane need not overcome anything as she glides into every scene exuding ease and immediately making clients comfortable with her presence. She faced some challenges this season, yes, but was largely unflappable.

The moment comes when Elsbeth compliments Diane’s necklace and she removes it, putting it around Elsbeth’s neck. It’s a big fabulous piece of jewelry. On Diane. She’s 5’10’ to Elsbeth’s 5’4” not to mention the vast difference in their personal stature, style and aesthetics. Despite complimenting Diane on the piece, it didn’t mean she wanted it and it didn’t work on Elsbeth.

There are great lessons here about finding your own style. I was practicing law when The Good Wife was on and made myself a big chunky necklace inspired by Diane Lockhart, but it didn’t work on me either. Doesn’t matter. Diane Lockhart is a member of my personal confidence advisory board and so is Christine Baranski because, without her, there would be no Diane Lockhart.

Who can be your confidence role model? Your clothing mentor? If there’s no one in your immediate orbit, first of all, you may need to join some groups. Second, you can turn to the arts for inspiration.

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