“In times of constant change, it helps to have some constants in life”
Bedrock principles that one can hold on to, come what may, and not have to think too much when in a ‘tight spot’ or when it’s business as usual. Heuristics/shortcuts, that one has trained so often with, that when ‘cometh the hour, cometh the man’, without the need for any cognitive processing needed then.
Some key principles I’ve come to appreciate over the past few months via my training with the Flow Genome Project community include:
- Radical Responsibility — Criticize by Creating
- Practice “Yes, and…” rather than “No, but…”
- Give the Benefit of the Doubt — “Everyone’s doing their best”
- Take the Hit as a Gift & Be Grateful
Radical Responsibility — Criticize by Creating
Words are cheap. It is very easy to lob the ball and not take ownership of something. Easier on the mind and heart. When we criticize though, we have a different view of the world (rightly or wrongly) that is implicit in our criticism. If we feel really strongly about it, then why not hold ourselves accountable for creating (or co-creating) the different world we visualize or seem attached to. Create options, possibilities, solutions, pathways. Better be part of the solution, than the problem as they say.
Practice “Yes, and…” rather than “No, but…”
In today’s hustle-full world, it’s easy to argue. Feel and say we’re right. Put the other person down. Show that we’re better than them. Our ideas trump theirs. But in the world of super wicked problems we live in today — those that are complex, intractable, and systemic — we can optimize our performance and that of our organizations and communities by acknowledging the effort and energy and proposing alternatives. Our interactions are additive rather than argumentative. I’d be far more open to listening to someone if they begin by saying ‘would you be willing to …’ vs ‘I’d like you to do ….’. . And this principle or trigger is supercritical for attaining and enhancing group flow, something I’ll discuss in a future post.
Give the Benefit of the Doubt — “Everyone’s Doing their Best”
Being kind and generous — with thoughts, words & actions — is an endangered mindset in today’s overheated polarized world. However, despite living in the most digitally connected times in human history, we have never had a weaker sense of how people feel on the inside — COVID has only exacerbated that through lockdowns & quarantines. I’ve learned to become more curious, more patient, more humble. I don’t know enough (at any time) to judge anyone. Not least because our listening skills are severely challenged — we listen for what we want to versus what may be said.
Take the Hit as a Gift & Be Grateful
Probably my favorite. Asking myself in any situation (especially ones I feel I may have been wronged) in what way is this a blessing for me. And this happened for me, not to me. Positive reframing? Absolutely. The return? Being so centered and balanced, that I’m always in a state of calm readiness — to inspire, to guide, to perform.