For most of us, a life crisis is what wakes us up to your own craziness. Major life events like the ending of a relationship or a serious health issue jolts us up and demand that we face ourselves and what is going on. The COVID pandemic has been a huge wake-up call for me. Right now I am staring truth in the face. She had been whispering softly in my ear and waking me up late at night. For everyone, a different and unique situation, but the experience is a human one, so its inescapable. It is those worries you have about how healthy your relationship is, or those doubts eating away at you. Maybe you drink way more that you would like to. We all do it, we shove that whisper far away in the back. We ignore, distract, numb or drown with wine.
The signals started early. You just weren’t paying enough attention to yourself to notice when things were starting to slip. Our emotions are the first sign that something is not okay. Frustration, fear, and anxiety are pleas for attention. We power through schedules and lives that are constantly getting out of hand without stopping for a moment to check in with what is going on for us internally.
Rather than roll up your sleeves and get on with it, try taking a moment to breathe…to centre yourself. You are more than the thoughts and emotions attempting to uproot your whole being. Emotions are temporary.
“Change The Way You Look At Things And The Things You Look At Change”.
Wayne Dyer
We can choose to view the so-called ‘negative emotions’ with a new set of eyes. We can choose to see them like an internal notification letting us know that there is something in our internal inbox that needs attention. When the mind feels like it’s moving too fast, take a step back, pause. Ignoring your own notifications allows anxiety and fear to move in, overwhelm us and morph into a whole new kind of monster that terrorizes us. Getting too involved and giving all our attention to what is wrong drains us, leaving no room for joy or love. It feels like you are in hell, except you are still on earth.
If you step far back enough you will gain precious perspective. There are many ways and practices to help. Focusing on your breath, going to the gym, working up a sweat, taking a nap; the list is endless. Find what works for you and your unique style. A practice I have found helpful is to give myself permission to feel the negative emotions, without judgment and with acceptance. This helps me to know what I am feeling without needing to ‘solve’ anything.
Time helps us to regain our bearings and sometimes that’s all that is needed. Once we have recalibrated and the emotions have passed, then we are ready to begin to explore what is important with clarity. This is one way we can make decisions consciously, rather than reacting from a place of fear. We love and support others, but forget that we also need to give ourselves the gift of our love, kindness, and patience. From this space we begin to live and act with authenticty.
Title image courtesy of Alan O’Rourke on Flickr under Creative Commons License.