I’d like to ask you a simple question:
Do you know what you want?
Really. Do you?
My clients initially come to me because they are dissatisfied with their current situations. They’re stuck within a certain area of their life and the suffering has become intolerable. They don’t know what to do, they don’t know where to begin.
All they know is that something needs to change.
In my years as a coach, I’ve noticed a remarkably simple yet consistent pattern that makes up one of the primary reasons people tend to get stuck. If applied correctly, this simple shift has the potential to help you rapidly attain a quantum leap in your life.
In an ideal situation, asking someone about their desires would spark an inspiring conversation of imagination and possibility as you watch their eyes light up. However, I’ve found the vast majority of the time, the opposite tends to happen. Instead of sharing their aspirations, they give a laundry list of things they don’t want. They completely fixate on the negative of their current experience and become paralyzed by the possibility of experiencing more of it.
Over time, we get so used to living out certain undesired circumstances that pretty soon they become expected. They become normal. We become attached to this story. We internalize them; take them personally. Eventually, they become part of our identity. Entertaining narratives like: “It’s always been this way, it will always be this way.” This snowball quickly becomes a dangerous boulder because before we know it, we’ve given away our power and let these things consume us. We victimize ourselves to circumstance and become passengers in our own lives.
Of course, Knowing what we don’t want can be useful as it shines a light on our true desires.
However, when we let the undesired steal our attention, energy and primary focus, This is precisely what we end up birthing into existence. This is because more of the same usually means more of the same. We cannot expect our worlds to change if we, ourselves, refuse to change.
“Who wants looks for opportunities. Who does not want looks for reasons” – Socrates
In order to create the life we want, it’s required to step into our power; to take full responsibility for our lives; owning both where we are currently at and where we want to go.
To be blunt, it is much easier to suffer in the misery of circumstance than it is to let go and jump into the vast ocean of possibility that lies in the unknown. We must surrender and swim in the depths required to actively participate in our own expansion.
It’s easier to let our dreams to remain a dream; to get high on the neuro-chemical hit that comes from the ‘what if’s’ of a fantasy than it is to step forward and take action.
Getting where we want to go and attaining our desires requires us to let go of certain stories we are currently entertaining. To let some of our present and past circumstances die away.
Some things we may need to let die in order to get unstuck include:
- Childhood wounds
- Conditioned belief systems
- Fear, Shame and Guilt
Energy flows where we place our attention.
Do you currently give more focus to your desires or does the potential of the unwanted consume your awareness?
My invitation to you today is to prioritize giving more of your attention to possibility and the things you truly want while fixating less on the misery of your current situation and past circumstance.
Do this and watch how quickly momentum shifts in your favor.
If you would like help in mastering this skill, reach out to me directly.