More and more of our digital dating world keeps coming up with new terms for bad dating behavior. Thought it was just happening to millennials? Think again. My Happiness Hypothesis study found that it is happening across the globe to both men and women for millennials and GenX.
It is creating the paradox effect in dating: it’s giving off the illusion of many choices while making it harder to find viable options.
Is technology driving dating, sex, and emotion? Are dating patterns just an extension of how we behave on social networks? I had a chance to explore some of this phenomena with superstar Claudia Cox, the creator of Text Weapon, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She is passionate about modern communication and loves helping people improve their relationships through creative texting.
Your career is so fascinating and inspiring. Tell us about your career trajectory?
I actually began my career as an engineer, but text messages and the little love stories they told have always fascinated me. I used to write down every text that landed in my inbox so that I could visit them again and again. And while I was personally obsessed with texting, I noticed that most of the people around me could use a lot of help in that arena. So when a series of life changing events made me rethink my career in engineering, I decided to focus on what I truly loved – helping others discover the potential of texting and turning their ordinary messages (and lives) into something extraordinary. Now, whenever I receive a question or a comment from a reader, I smile. I can’t help but wonder how many people have used my text messages or advice to start a new love story or heat up a lukewarm relationship. I would love to think that by following my dream I have not only improved my life, but the lives of others as well.
How did you get started in the relationship industry? What got you interested in the industry?
I got started in the relationship industry when I created Text Weapon in 2013. At the same time, I was writing my first book, publishing regular blog posts, guest posting on sites around the world, coaching singles and couples, being active on social media, attending events, and participating in Podcasts. I also worked as a professional matchmaker.
It was my love of communication and helping people that got me interested in the industry.
It felt like a natural fit. By listening, learning, and being interested in others, I have always had beautiful relationships and deep connections with people. I wanted to share my knowledge and experiences with others who may have been blessed with intelligence, beauty, or riches, but lack the skills to find and keep a happy, healthy relationship.
What amazing projects can we expect to see next?
After six years of helping people solve their texting issues, I’m developing very tailored solutions for some of the most common modern communication issues that I’ve dealt with, such as navigating love on social media, keeping romance alive in long term relationships using modern technology, and dealing with ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends in the virtual world (because it’s not as easy as just avoiding their favorite hangout anymore).
How do you create work-life balance?
It is easy to find yourself working 24/7 if you’re not careful. There is always something to do, something beeping, someone waiting for an answer. It can make you crazy.
It’s hard to discipline yourself, but it’s essential.
As much as I’m passionate about helping people, I’m careful to never neglect my own personal care and needs. For me, this means spending time with loved ones, exercising regularly, and consistently making sure that my personal goals and values are aligned with how I’m spending my time and energy.
Can you share some tips on how to cultivate it in our own lives?
Setting up boundaries is extremely important. I receive a lot of emails and messages on social media at all hours of the day. I make a conscious effort to not allow this constant influx to take over my life. For example, if I am with friends, or getting ready for bed, I don’t agonize over not instantly replying. I keep certain times sacred and I don’t feel guilty about it because it’s a personal boundary that is protecting myself. I also try to live life in the present. The more I do this, the more I am able to enjoy what is happening now and not agonize over the future. For me, boundaries and living in the present are the two keys for creating optimal work-life balance.
What advice would you offer to those interested in getting in the industry?
- Join groups, get on social media, and attend live events. It is never too early to start!
- Most of the people you come into contact within the industry are hard-working professionals who are passionate about what they do. They have made huge sacrifices in their personal and professional lives to arrive where they are today and they all have dreams of succeeding. Be interested in them. Find a way to help them. Introduce them to people in your network that you think they could benefit from knowing.
- Figure out what you’re good at and then be better at that than everyone else. For example, be known as THE break-up coach, THE daytime approach coach, or THE flirting coach. It’s better to be an expert in something valuable than mediocre at everything.
- Don’t expect to be an overnight success. Building a business, either online or offline, takes time. While you build your business make sure that you have a stream of income to cover your living expenses – you won’t burn out and you will sleep a lot better at night.
What in your opinion is the future of dating?
I think dating will become more and more technology based. Many people today have painstakingly created their list as to what constitutes the ideal partner. Technology will make it easier to find and connect them to people that meet all of their stringent criteria.
But what if the “ideal partner” you have concocted is not really the right person for you?
And you are stuck chasing a shell of perfection, while missing out on something wonderful right in front of you? It takes away a little bit of the excitement of the unknown, of discovery…of trying new things. There are so many “soft” aspects to romantic relationships that I hope are not overlooked in the future. Non-tangible things, such as a person’s smell, how you feel in their presence, the way they hold your hand, their imperfections that over time become perfections.
What would you tell your younger self?
Life is hard, but as long as you stay true to your personal values and goals, there is nothing that life can throw at you that you can’t overcome.