A dear friend of mine recently had introduced me to “The Princess Who Believed in Fairy Tales,” a lovely book written by Marcia Grad. The book starts like most fairy tale stories “Once upon a time” and goes on to describe what soon resembles a well lived notion to all of us damsels with broken hearts. The book begins by describing what one would think is a typical princess story, what I visualized as a naive princess living in a too big for anyone’s size castle, overindulging in anything from lavender bubble baths to mounds of goose-feathered downy pillows, all which to a sagacious mind would seem nothing more than a benighted visualization of a most dramatic type. Of course I wish to remain positive, who wouldn’t, meanwhile still on page number one. I was, without a doubt, still very much enjoying this marvelous work of art especially when getting, well, to what would be any damsel’s favorite subject – the so called “Prince Charming” – of course, for you see I too have dreamed of my Prince Charming who lived in a beautiful castle by a marvelous beach in Del Mar, whose most glorifying sunsets would inspire my every single one of my writings, and whose private jets would fly me over cotton candy clouds to enchanting destinations with gorgeous mountain peaks and magical waterfalls, for far too long. Hopeful, I continued reading on.
“Will my prince ever come?” she asked the queen one night, her gentle amber eyes wide with wonder and innocence.
“Yes, dear,” the queen replied. “Someday.”
“And will he be big and strong and brave and handsome and charming?” the little princess asked.
“Of course. All that you dream of and more. He will be the light of your life, your reason for being. So it is destined.”
Suddenly, I could hear an apposite voice in my head: “Stop right there!Excuse me what? The light of my life? My reason for being? So it is destined? Hold on a second! What sort of legerdemain is this?” Before moving on reading any further, with the urgency of what seemed like a lightning bolt striking my subconscious, I had decided that it was absolutely necessary for me, as a writer and intellectual, to share with you my fair ladies my personal raison d’être for no other reason than simply that I love the truth too much to practice feckless ignorance in allowing such perversion of common sense to inspire any of your disbelief in your own power and strength. My beloved darlings, before we go on feeling any more distress as a result of social programming founded on unreasoned postulations, let’s reconsider what light, reason of being, and destiny are not for someone else’s sake but for our own very sanity and not to mention our matured and well tested rationale. And I say, let’s redefine what the role of a Prince Charming really is. LIGHT is energy, one which lives in every one of us and all around us. It is not the consequence of any Prince Charming’s doings but rather the miracle which acts as both a physical and metaphysical force within the universe. Sure, we could go back in time to Hans Christian Ørsted who spoke of the relationship between light and magnetic fields or James Clerk Maxwell who demonstrated that electric and magnetic fields travel through space as waves taking time to do so. Very likely your Prince Charming is not someone who can possess the brilliance of someone like Ørsted or Maxwell, no matter how intelligent he was. But even if he was a genius or a genius in the making, let’s presume, your light is a vibrating force in and outside of you. It is beyond the boundaries of your Prince Charming’s abilities and talents. This force which we call light is the vibration most essential to life, one which reminds us that we are here for far more than to show others how big and beautiful our castles are. Light radiates like a hover, in one’s being and outside of one’s being, giving life profound meaning via energy granting its frequency and intensity.
LIGHT IS ENERGY
REASON OF BEING, in sophisticated French known as raison d’être, is an individual’s definition of his or her scope and purpose in life. Though often influenced by upbringing, life events, friends and family some who are not very skilled at being considerate towards our needs yet very talented in audaciously daring to assume they know us and, therefore, what is best for us, reason of being is first and foremost a personal decision. Ultimately, many aspects of life can influence our reason of being but as we evolve we decide which of these would indeed have control over our own reality we live daily. Our values, our world views, our so called filters, all which shape our belief systems, will produce our reason of being. Nobody can define it for us. We own this mighty liberty no different than we own our choices. Our greatest privilege and responsibility as Homo sapiens stand primarily in the choices we make and the free will to make choices. Any Prince Charming can come marching in our lives telling us who we are, yet we still have a responsibility towards ourselves, as bright maidens, to distinguish and decide for ourselves who we are and who we will become.
REASON OF BEING IS A PERSONAL CHOICE
DESTINY is the domino effect of life events, some which we are in control of and others which are outside of our control. You cannot control a tsunami from destroying your castle, for example, which would mean you would have to secure a new home for yourself very likely much more humble but you can control who you allow in that dwelling and can choose to be happy in it while you are well and alive. Prince Charming can arrive with half empty words, promises which he never dares to turn to facts out of fear or ego, but you are still in control of whether or not you allow this Prince Charming to have any of your day’s energy. When we are in control, destiny is a path we choose. When we are not in control, we just have to realize that we cannot be in control at all times and thus be grateful for every one of life’s blessings, savoring and cherishing life, to our best ability, grateful for each moment. Destiny is a fickle bitch, some would say, while eloquent maidens like you and I would probably call it a fickle friend and enemy all in one. Remember, however, that you can take an ink pen and scratch the Prince Charming off your eligible list if he hurts you, if he disrespects you, if he does not love you. In fact, you can do that to anyone who will bring distress upon your life by means of toxic negativity or unnecessary drama. If the Prince Charming, however, is a good man who actually cares about you, a care proven via actions not mere words, by all means kiss the man until he is sick of kisses and show him the same level of respect you wish to receive. But if he is not, it just may be time to let go for he, in this case, would partake to the part of your destiny which you can control.
DESTINY IS THE DOMINO EFFECT OF LIFE EVENTS, SOME WHICH WE CONTROL AND SOME WHICH WE DO NOT CONTROL
From DREAM to REALITY, the journey may require much love, toil, and persistence all which you can strive for on your own. The publication of my first book “A Poetess’ First Flight,” a most defining moment of my life, is an example of this very fact. No words can describe the warm feelings which flutter around my heart today knowing that my first book turned a realized dream. DREAMS CAN COME TRUE to anyone willing to perform the magic which much love, toil, and persistence can ignite. And trust me, my dear ladies, no Prince Charming can do for you what you can do for yourself. A Prince Charming cannot and should not at any given time be your light, define your reason for being, or control your destiny. He should be that special someone, should you be so fortunate to stumble upon a real one, who will add to your life additional joy and happiness, support you in the positive and meaningful life you want to live, respect you along the way. But he should never be the one on which your life’s joy and happiness depend upon. By all means, should you ever be so fortunate to stumble upon a real Prince Charming you can call your own, love and respect him, offer him the same courtesy and treatment you would desire to receive in return, but never ever allow anyone (Prince Charming or not) to define your light, your reason of being, and the destiny which you are in control of. By all means, be nice and kind. But own you life’s decisions and choices.
Now, let’s turn more dreams into reality. Shall we?
Carmen A. K.
(aka Carmen A. Cisnadean)
Picture collage created by Carmen A. K. (backgroud painting by Thomas Kinkade entitled “A New Day at the Cinderella Castle”)