Community//

Friendship Breakups Are Hard, and That’s OK

If a friendship isn't serving your well-being, it might be time to move on.

Soubrette/ Getty Images
Soubrette/ Getty Images

Self-love isn’t something that comes naturally to all of us, and on my own journey to prioritizing my own happiness and well-being, I’ve learned that sometimes you need to let go of relationships that are holding you back from doing so. And while choosing to shut a door may be scary, the decision will only help you grow in the long run.

It all started with an old email that I found while cleaning out my inbox. I was triggered by certain jokes that made me feel bad about myself, and I realized that in order to be happy inside, I had to break off a friendship that had become toxic to my mental well-being. And it wasn’t about one particular incident. In fact, this person had always been consistent in their actions since I met them. The constant “jokes” and “advice” about why I was still single, the “helpful” critique of my life and actions — ending the friendship was best for the both of us.

I’ve learned that there are certain types of friends that you have to avoid in order to be successful in life. The “constant critic” is one of them. As Benjamin Franklin says, “Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain — and most fools do.” Nothing you do is good enough in the eyes of this person. The constant critic can always do it better and they always let you know exactly how you should be living your life. The funny thing is this type of person is usually so busy “helping” you figure out your life that they completely ignore everything going wrong in theirs. There’s constructive criticism and then there’s criticism that breaks you down little by little until you become a fraction of yourself. I believe in running, not walking away from this person.

I decided to send an email to express how I felt. It was clear, concise and with examples of times within our friendship that I had felt cut down and demeaned. I was proud that I was able to express myself after years of ignoring the insulting nature of our friendship.

I was also relieved when I saw that her response to my email was apologetic. She felt bad and offered a few excuses to explain her behavior. While I appreciated the gesture, speaking my truth was not about getting an apology. It was always about reclaiming my power. I’ve always thought that closure was overrated, but after sending my email, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I had gotten my hurt and frustration off my chest, and I was ready to embrace self-love.

Breaking up within any dynamic is hard, but if you know a certain relationship is holding you back from being happy, there should be no doubt or second thoughts to the decision. Once you let go of what’s dragging you down, the freedom to move on is exhilarating.

Follow us here and subscribe here for all the latest news on how you can keep Thriving. 

Stay up to date or catch-up on all our podcasts with Arianna Huffington here.

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Community//

End of an Era

by Sandra Nolan
Friendship breakup
Community//

It’s OK To Let A Friendship End – It Means You’re Growing

by Kelly Rudolph
Shevchuk Boris/Getty Images
Wisdom//

11 Signs It’s Time to Let a Friendship Go

by Marina Khidekel

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.