I was fortunate to spend last night speaking in New York City to a very special group of people. Men and women seeking a better, more fulfilling and empowering life.
The Organization that I aligned with for the evening is called MANTALKS. This Organization was created to give men a platform to speak freely about life, relationships, careers and anything that may be on their mind.
Not immediately knowing the type of crowd I would be speaking with, I developed a speech that talked about my life, my adversities and the stories of how I overcame those adversities and obstacles.
As I began my speech, I tried to perfectly script the delivery in my head before it was “go-time”.. preparing to give a gentler version of my typical sports motivation speeches to match the energy and tone of a more “creative” crowd.
This took me off the pace. I started to tell a story that was soft, compassionate and overly dramatic- which is totally not my game.
Then, as I was speaking and listening to my own words/delivery, I had a big moment. The moment of “this isn’t me”. This is not my tone. This is not my emotions. This just is not me. This isn’t even my story chronologically.
I was more worried about supplying “creative” energy and flow to match the room instead of being myself. I was truly pissed by this point. I have spent my whole life being me and in this moment of storytelling and sharing I decided to become somebody else? Following up a speech a gentleman just gave about overcoming the struggle of being somebody else nonetheless.
Then it happened. I made the decision.
I flipped the switch with one “self-coaching” moment mid-speech. I told myself “Remember who you are. You are a Coach. Now go Coach these people through your story.”… So that is exactly what I did.
Abandoning the slides and just getting down and dirty with my personal storyline about triumph, success and the highs/ lows of professional coaching.
You see the greatest harm we can do to ourselves is becoming “inauthentic”.. trying to be something or somebody we are not.
It just feels so wrong. When you are able to “freely express” yourself, own your story and use that story to empower others, that is how you achieve greatness. People can feel your passion. They can feel your authenticity.
There are so many people out there “faking” their way through life trying to be something or somebody they are not. The long term consequences of this type of behavior always lead you down the path of “pain”. This pain can show up in the form of muscular aches and pains, anxiety, panic attacks, back pain, high blood pressure, IBS and even cardiac events such as heart attack.
The freedom of expression is essential amongst people. People need freedom of expression to overcome their own inhibitions. People need a platform to share. Many people hold themselves prisoner to the thoughts they “believe” are true- even though they are based on the conversations in our heads.
Coming from team sports you always had a team to get you through your darkest days.
What I realized last night was how many people need a team. The average person is alone. They don’t have a support system or team to get them through their journey. Some of those that do are a part of teams that are highly judgmental and inauthentic in their own right- a losing team.
I am thankful for the opportunity I had to share with this group of “winners” and the opportunity I had to learn about myself.
Never compromise who you are to please the room. Do you. Be you. If people don’t like it… then too bad. Change your room!
P.S. If you feel like you do not have a place to share or a person to share with, please reach out on the feed or privately. My greatest goal is to form a tribe of people that work together and help each other along. We all need a Coach to drive us forward.
Originally published at danacavalea.com.