Learning to forgive yourself is a big part of personal growth. The majority of us have things in our past that we regret and wish we could change. Those things can really hold us back from having the life that we want and dream of. I am no exception to this and have often felt like I didn’t deserve good things because of the mistakes I have made. Listed below are my top three tips for learning to forgive yourself.
1. Treat yourself like you would your best friend. It is easy just to be harsh and beat ourselves up. In fact, the running dialogue in my head is sometimes just hateful and mean. When I stop and ask myself if I would say those things to my friend, I find that the answer is no. So, learning to treat yourself kinder and with as much understanding as you would your best friend leads you to a place of forgiveness.
2. Acknowledge that you messed up. Sometimes it is easier just to brush something under the rug and ignore it. If you ignore it, then it didn’t happen. But doing this just keeps the thing hanging over you like a black cloud. Think of it like a wound that is closed and full of pus. It festers under the skin and until you lance it and let the pus out, you won’t heal. If you acknowledge your mistake, get it out in the open, then you can begin to healing. With healing comes forgiveness.
3. Find accountability. This goes along with number two. If we don’t have accountability, then it is easy to hide out and ignore all the stuff that we are holding on to. But if we have a friend that can hold up a mirror and say hey, you gotta let that go, we can see what needs done and move past it. We get to the lancing stage and can begin healing. So surround yourself with people who love you, but who also are willing to hold up the mirror and keep you accountable.
Until I learned to forgive myself, I was stuck. But learning these skills has allowed me to really reconnect to myself and find more joy in my life. I work with my clients and provide that same support for them. I give them a safe, judgement free zone to begin to work through their past and forgive themselves so that they can find more confidence, happiness and contentment in their lives.
Sherry Parks is a Rediscovery Coach who helps women rediscover themselves and reconnect to the core of who they are.
To contact Sherry for more information about coaching join her women only Facebook group Lives In Balance https://www.facebook.com/groups/1412224992154642/?ref=bookmarks.