Community//

Forgiving yourself from a big MIS-take

Our journey in realizing a mis-take!

All of us at some point in time realize that we have made a mis-take. It’s interesting how each of us assimilates the situation & events prior to the mistake, the actual decision & action, and the consequences.

The sequence might be somewhat like this:

1. Somethings happen, someone says something, you struggle to surpass an obstacle, you come across a negative experience, etc.

2. You evaluate choices or come to a conclusion. Then you make a choice/ decision. Certain things happen due to your above choice/decision: actions, events

3. You live with the results/consequences for a while. Sometimes you think about your choice/decision and the subsequent consequences

4. Gradually you become aware or feel that you made a mistake. Initially, you self-reason and keep justifying your choice/decision.

5. Then your mind starts swinging like a pendulum/ yo-yo; from thinking one end that it is your fault to the other end of thinking that it is not your fault. Also that it is someone else’s fault, or the circumstance was the cause for it. Finally, you realize that it was your fault either in a major way or completely. That it was an error on your part!

6. You start feeling guilt, shame, remorse. Your sense of well-being is disturbed. If you continue worrying about the above then you risk the possibility of a lack of sleep, loss of appetite, dis-interest with current events, and detachment with the people around you. At the extreme end, it may lead to a state of depression

7. You may continue in this chasm till you reach the state of having the courage to acknowledge your mis-take. You free yourself from the burden of denial and whole-heartedly accept the error on your part. Also, the epiphany occurs that it’s a mis-take and not a sin!

8. At that stage, you may choose to reach out to the person and express your apologies or you may visualize them in your mind and express your apologies. You may also request for their forgiveness in-person or in your mind

9. When you do that, somehow magically you are relieved from the guilt of the mis-take. You start realizing that it might have happened due to ignorance or limited information or a series of unforeseen events or an inability to think clearly at that time. You stop feeling guilty and learn to forgive yourself

10. You regain the positive energy and vitality to move on with your life. You may also make a resolve not to repeat the mis-take or wrongdoing

Forgiveness Poem:

Forgiveness is letting go of the pain and accepting what has happened because it will not change.

Forgiveness is dismissing the blame. Choices were made that caused the hurt; we each could have chosen differently, but we didn’t.

Forgiveness is looking at the pain, learning the lessons it has produced and understanding what we have learnt.

Forgiveness allows us to move on towards a better understanding of universal love and our true purpose.

Forgiveness is knowing that love is the answer to all questions and that we all are in some way connected.

Forgiveness is starting over with the knowledge that we have gained. I forgive you, and I forgive myself. I hope you can do the same.

– Judith Mammay

Some quotes:

Mistakes are painful when they happen, but years later a collection of mistakes is what is called experience, which leads to success – Denis Waitley

Mistakes simply happen because of a lack of awareness. Once awareness dawns in you, then you realize that you made a mistake out of ignorance. By realizing this, you come out of the mistake and become innocent once again – Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

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