One of the cornerstones of a successful relationship is forgiveness. We hear it all the time, don’t we? Forgiveness. What are most people really talking about when they use the word?
Forgiveness is the release of resentment or anger. Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation. (Letting go with no expectation)
Naturally, when you think of forgiveness you think of forgiving your partner, your family, parents, siblings, friends, or the guy who cut you off this morning on the freeway. The kind of forgiveness I am talking about is forgiving yourself. For what? For focusing on your inadequacies versus your value. Forgiving yourself for being consumed with yourself,
“me, me, me.”
I often contradict myself by saying you cannot forgive yourself. It’s not possible. That statement often will lead to a debate. So, let me say this about forgiving oneself. Forgiveness already exists. It isn’t something we conjure up. You and I can step into it, accept it, or not by simply letting go. When we do; when we can accept that we are forgiven for our unconsciousness universally, then forgiving others becomes natural. In fact, it becomes an honor to offer forgiveness.
Stepping into that kind of forgiveness, not to get off the hook, but that you have space to expand. To strengthen yourself where you are weak, and to be true to the values and principles you hold.
Being close to the people I care about and connected to those I don’t know yet is important to me. Often though, I realize how unconscious or self-absorbed I can become. It isn’t my favorite part of being me.
The opportunity to step into forgiveness allows me to get back to my conscious self – to make quick amends with those I may have neglected and move forward. Staying more consciously conscious.
This doesn’t guarantee that those impacted are going to offer the same opportunity. And though most of us would want that, it is not a guarantee. When people feel they’ve been hurt they have their own combination of what gets them back or not.
If it is your partner, then make it your duty to know that combination. Get consciously conscious of what really matters to you. Let go of being short-sighted, going for what you want RIGHT now, versus what you really want over time.