Are you living life focused on the next objective, the next goal, or the next thing you wish to conquer?
What does it feel like when you get there?
What does it feel like when you don’t?
If the answer to the first question is something like, “Good, so what’s next?” or “Great for a while, but then it fades”.
The answer to the second question is, “I feel anxious, overwhelmed, frustrated”, or all the seriously negative emotions we could describe here.
If these are your answers, or something akin, your point of reference, your connection, is with the OBJECT of your desire,
the end point,
Your point of reference is not WITH the process, and with connecting to yourself IN that process.
There are no objectives that you will attain, or reach that will satisfy you if the focus is on the object itself.
If the focus is on the process of your growth in reaching towards that objective, then you may not always be satisfied completely with what you achieve, that’s understandable.
But you will be fulfilled.
If you’re connected to the process and your self-discovery in that process, you can re-set and re-focus your energies towards your objectives, or even revise those objectives.
But you will not be taken off course, or beaten down by your inner voice because you didn’t achieve what you expected.
Challenge and growth Vs. Objects and expectations
I’ll take challenge and growth every time!
How do I do this you say?
First, understand that every time you embark on an objective, or as I like to express it, an intention, your connection needs to be with the process of reaching towards it, not with it.
Yes, that’s what I said?!
Don’t keep your eyes on the prize.
We’re all doing it.
Day in and day out.
I want that job, and when I get it, I’ll be happy!
I want that promotion, and when I get it, all will be well!
I want that car, and when I get it, man am I going to be cool!
I want that woman/man, and when I get them, I am going to be whole!
I want that house and when I get it, I will be living the dream!
I want that car, OMG, I want it so bad!
Inevitably, when we don’t reach those objectives, we get disappointed in ourselves, we beat ourselves up, we start into a cycle of personal reflection that is not self serving, but rather self deprecating.
Maybe we even self-sabotage along the way! Because we don’t believe we can achieve the objective, so we just throw in the towel, give up, and go home!
We achieve the objective, back slap ourselves for a day, yell and scream from the tallest building!
But nothing really changes.
Ya, maybe we can afford something we couldn’t before, or we are in a better position than before, but for some reason, we can’t find true enjoyment and fulfillment in the moment!
We look around with this empty feeling, and then we look for what to do next, and up starts the cycle again. Here we go!
If we connect more with working towards our intentions, we stay focused on learning from each moment, consider our choices, understand our pathway, and revel in the daily process, and we will feel such a sense of fulfillment each day.
And that is the crux of the matter.
It is not about the end point, it is about each day, each step.
Process not Perfection!
When we are connected to that, then each day IS fulfilling, even when it may be a step backwards, because you learned something, and you felt something, and you explored yourself. You grew!
Growing, learning, and evolving Vs Expectation — disappointment — or emptiness
Originally published at medium.com