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Finding my Krishna….

I was looking for my twin flame all along!

I remember about a decade ago I would say to my closest friends, I’m married to Krishna! It would sound crazy I’m sure. But I felt His love to the point that it overwhelmed me. I would have tears in my eyes, not because I felt lonely but because I felt loved!

Fast forward to a decade later, I separated from my husband because I felt more disconnected with love that I wanted to admit. I felt deep love within, at times, but not in the relationship.

I would dream of this divine connection, this profound intense love that flows through my veins. This love I was longing for came in the shape that I never expected. When it did, I was breaking all societal rules. Our brief meeting while overwhelmingly intense ended abruptly. Leaving me heart broken, torn and devastated because I knew I had experienced something that was unheard of, a connection that rarely exists. But the timing was off so we had to part ways.

10 months later, I have dated other men. I was telling myself maybe I was in a fantasy land, wanting to believe that what I had with this Italian wasn’t all that magical. Having my head in the clouds didn’t help move on hence I needed to come back to reality so dating was what I did.


Whilst fun, dating wasn’t soul filling. There was always something missing. The guys were great people but just not for me. Some can say that I had set my mind up for the one who had taken my heart away. While it may be partially true, I was always looking for that connection. I couldn’t settle for a relationship that didn’t speak to my soul, that didn’t ignite my fire and so nothing lasted. 

With more time in hand (thanks to the pandemic), I dug into tarot card readings and soul mate relationships. Then twin flame connections came into my world and the latter was something I had never really looked into that much.

It is said that twin flames share one soul but are separated as two people but eventually they come together in a romantic connection. They have the halves of each other’s soul. The idea behind this is that according to Plato, we humans were half male and half female. However, Zeus ordered that we be cut in half and since then, we’ve been on the search looking for our other half. It makes sense why we loosely use the term, I married my better half, but rarely do we understand what this better half is or where it stems from.

The other meaning behind twin flame connection is, they reflect back to us our weaknesses but also our greatest strengths. This mirroring is to help us work on our weaknesses so we are whole as an individual. But there is also a cosmic purpose. Twin flame reunion is meant for twins to raise the frequency, the vibration of mankind. As we come together as one soul, we are stronger hence we can achieve our mission whilst serving for the greater good.

The question many ask is how do we know if we’ve met our twin flame. While this is a legit question but if one is unsure, then may be it isn’t a twin connection. It may sound harsh but when we feel something so different, our inner self just knows. We feel scared and yet empowered, free and yet incomplete (because the reunion hasn’t happened), full of love and yet lonely without that love. From my personal experience, these are 4 of the obvious signs:

  • I felt at home instantly. When I first met him, I felt I was returning ‘home’. Silly me, I actually said this out loud probably freaking him out. Or he might have thought I was mad! Feeling belonged and ‘right’ at once was my first indication that this connection is different.
  • A deep connection beyond anything I’ve felt. I felt a connection with him like I had known him before. I remember when we were cuddling I said to him, ‘I know you’. He smiled and said, ‘I’ve never met you before.’ But I felt like I knew him, not him the body but him the soul. Days later, he used the exact same phrase and I then knew he felt this too.
  • I’m able to be my true self: vulnerable, strong and everything in between. I felt so intensely connected to him that within days of knowing him, I told him that I was raped. I felt safe in sharing this with him. Being with a twin flame, there is a feeling of complete protection and safety that we can be weak and bare because our twin knows it takes a lot of courage to be that. But also the comfort of being our true self is liberating with our twin. I just knew I can trust this person more than anyone else in the world.
  • There is a sexual chemistry like no other. I’ve never felt a sexual desire for someone like I feel for him. I remember once, I was brushing my teeth and he said to me, “even watching you brush your teeth is so sexy!” I didn’t quite get it at that time but I noticed that he’d do just about anything and all I’d want to do is rush over and hold him. There is a magnetic pull that he has over me and vice versa.

After realizing that what I have with him is a twin flame connection, I decided to look up Hindu mythology. I realized that Radha & Krishna, Shiva & Parvathi, Ram & Sita were twin flames. So back then, when I used to say, I am married to Krishna, what I had been looking for was a twin flame. A connection Krishna had with Radha, which I’ve found with my Italian (even though we’re not in full reunion yet). But I know deep within me, that no love can measure up to this twin connection for either of us because when I am connected back to the other half of my soul, how can anyone else complete me like my twin can?

So if any of you out there are in the runner chaser phase, surrender. Trust me, whilst difficult, letting go is the most powerful thing that we need to do to bring our twin back to us. I’m in this stage of letting go so I know what it feels like. Surrender does not mean giving up. It means the exact opposite. It simply means trusting and having faith that when he or she has worked on what needs working on, you both will be reunited. Like with many people, twins too feel scared and overwhelmed. Therefore, they isolate themselves to work on their own wounds that get triggered so they can be in this deep profound connection. This reunion allows the individual to be ready so they can come together as one. One of the things I do is I energetically send him lots of love and blessings. On one occasion, I told him through text that I am with him always energetically. This unconditional support and love, tells him that what we have is that special and I have his back no matter what.

To my Krishna (aka Italian) and everyone out there in love or looking for love.

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