Have you been hooked by one those the infamous Buzzfeed quizzes? Answer 15 vague questions about what type of pizza you like and it rewards you with a quirky answer. These quizzes are a perfect time-waster at work or for when you’re binging Netflix. In the same hour you can figure out “Which Disney Princess Are You” and “What Cheese Do You Most Relate To” (Ariel and Gruyere — thanks for asking).
For many people like myself, these filled the void in an area I did not want to confront. These “assessments” provided the perfect distraction from the realization that I was painfully unhappy in my job and the direction (if any) of my career. I had no idea what I was doing. With every quiz I was looking for someone to tell me who I was and what to do with my life.
I was convinced that I had fallen behind and my dream career was too far out of reach. Believing that my college major dictated my future possibilities, I became complacent. I was compliant in the safety and security that at least I “majored” in this. I stuck to jobs I thought I was qualified for or what I knew people had done before me. Soon enough after working at jobs I hated, I realized I was following a prescribed life plan. This involved taking little risk, tucking away big dreams, and comparing myself to what others were doing. I was already living for the weekends.
I was watching my life pass me by and never taking the time to stop and ask “Is this what I want?” I didn’t want to own up to the answer. It’s terrifying. My fear lead to endless rounds of “what ifs” and making excuses;
“I can’t possibly do that”,
“I have too much X” or,
“not enough time for Y”.
Someone needed to wake me from the delusions that so many of us get wrapped up in. I was giving into what Steven Pressfield calls in his book, The War of Art, — resistance. Resistance is the enemy that keeps you from doing what you are passionate about. It coaxes you into believing that you’re not smart enough, or you don’t deserve it, or it will happen “someday”.
If you’re reading this far either you have no idea what the hell I’m talking about or you’ve exactly where I was. If you’re one of the folks in the latter camp — read on.
The time came for me to plan a rebellion — against myself. I needed to own my story; and that’s exactly what I did. Prepared with the results of my Buzzfeed quizzes and a strong will, I sought the advice of a Career Coach. At the time my twin brother, Vincent, was using one with excellent results so I decided to give it a try. I believed I had everything figured out (spoiler alert: I didn’t) so, I laid out exactly how I wanted my career to go step by step without much diversion. In passing I mentioned an unacknowledged desire to move away from my Ohio hometown and live in the great state of Texas — thinking my Career Coach would immediately dismiss that. However to my utter dismay, she did the complete opposite.
I couldn’t believe it, I couldn’t move across the country! What was she thinking!? What was I thinking!? What if I can’t make friends? What if I fail and end up on the streets? What if my dreams of exploring burn up and float away? What if I get home sick and want to go back? I was playing the ‘what if’ game.
So I broke down all my limiting beliefs — one by one. My Career Coach genuinely encouraged me to explore my curiosity and experiment with life. It may have taken some encouragement… and by “some” I mean A LOT! She lit the fire under my ass that started me on the journey I’m on today.
“The greatest obstacle most of us encounter to living a remarkable life is not out of finances or pressures, it’s the lack of courage to question the beliefs in our own mind that tell us we’re not enough.” — AJ LEON
With no job, no connections, and only half a clue of what I was doing, I moved down south to Austin, Texas. Thrown into the fire, I had to develop skills in networking, job hunting, and selling myself. I harnessed my strengths and owned MY STORY. — but it doesn’t end there, life had a much bigger lesson to teach me. After hitting a wall with another job I hated I pushed myself into making a more courageous career changes…and that’s when I realized something kinda awesome. I had been doing the work I loved all along. In giving advice and courage to my friends like my Career Coach did for me I realized this was next big scary step in my life. I wanted to be a Career Coach. When those I’d helped started to find clarity in their career paths, gain confidence in their unique strengths, and kill it at the job hunt — I knew it was time to take this new path seriously. And maybe, just maybe, this was my moment to finally change everything.
There are things we must do on this life. A calling? A purpose? A fantasy? I don’t care what you call it; we all have it. Do we have more than one? Probably. It’s something you have to work for and something that will change with your life.
I think we all need a little push to start building the lives we want. A little nug to tell us it’s our turn. But as one of my favorite writers, Seth Godin states — “It’s Always Your Turn.” It takes BOLDNESS to carve your own path and a compass to help guide you where to go. The uncertainty of life and shit you have to deal with can bring you down — so it doesn’t hurt to enlist the help of others.
I’m living a life that I designed, with a career which I chose by creating a business to help others do the same. I’m determined to leave this Earth better than I found it, and give others the same push my Career Coach gave to me.
Adventure is out there.
You can connect with me at The Migyanko Method.
Originally published at medium.com