Find Joy in Being Single

Today is Valentine's Day which can be a joyous occasion or a difficult one for others. I hope that regardless of your relationship status you find deep joy in this day and root it in love for yourself first then the other.

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Today is Valentine’s Day, a day that celebrates romantic love. For some people, this day is filled with excitement and celebration for having found a romantic partner to go on this crazy adventure of life. For other people this day reminds them of the lack of this romantic partner, further reminding them of their singleness rooted in sadness and loneliness. There is also a group of people who are happily single, celebrating this day with such joy knowing that there is much love that is already in their lives.

I write to you today as a single woman in her 30’s who loves love. As such I truthfully found myself torn between the last two single groups even though I wish I was rooted in only the last group of happily single. This morning I thought of my past loves, remembering what we were conversing about and doing in prior years and equally wondering what are they doing today with their new lovers. Did they do the cliché yet beautiful gesture of sending flowers and chocolate? Did they give them morning hugs and kisses? Did they say I love you’s? And the worst question in my mind, was it better than our time together? Thinking and reminiscing certainly did not help. It took me on this journey of lack and negative feelings which led to nowhere healthy.

As a firm believer that our emotions are our guidance system and by also being on the journey of fostering healthy self-worth, I put a firm stop to that negative mind journey I embarked on, however normal it is (I know many of us do it more than we like to admit). I stopped it by doing the following things:

  1. Breathed: I breathed in 3 times with my hand on my heart and feet on the ground. This helped in grounding me and being more present.
  2. Appreciated Myself: I appreciated my heart and how big it is. This reminded me that love first comes from me by me.
  3. Appreciated Past Love: I appreciated that I have had the incredible honor of having had experienced love even if those love stories ended. Many people would wish for a glimpse into love and I am lucky I got to experience love.
  4. Appreciated My Courage: I appreciated my awareness of knowing when I needed to close myself to others romantically until I healed and when I needed to be open to new love. After months of healing, the time to be fully open has come as I know how easy it is to stay in retreat and hiding. This made me appreciate my courage for being open to new love even after experiencing recent deep heartbreak.
  5. Appreciated Myself (again): I appreciated the love I have for myself and who I am as a person. I thought of things I love about myself, I left with saying how I especially love my laugh (even though sometimes it is too loud) and how I love my eyes especially how they light up when I am inspired. Complementing and appreciating yourself is key people, dive into it.
  6. Appreciated Love Around Me: I appreciated the love I am surrounded with. I received so many messages today from friends and family wishing me a happy Valentine’s day which was filled with such love. Even if I did not receive messages I know how much love I am surrounded with and for that, I feel full.
  7. Mapped Out What I Want: I made delicious coffee, brought my favorite notebook and enjoyed the exercise of writing out what I want from a relationship and my future love. I paused many times in between sentences just to feel the emotions of what it would be like to have that.
  8. Appreciated Lovers Around Me: Today you will likely see many posts of couples on social media, see them dining romantically in restaurants, holding hands in the street and as you witness this consciouslly fill your heart with appreciation that love exists. Know in your heart that soon enough you will have a lover to celebrate too but I believe the only way to attract that lover is by being so full of love yourself first, or at least that is the way to attract healthy love.
  9. Focused on Trusting and Let it Go: Now that you have filled yourself with appreciation, mapped out what it is you are looking to attract the next essential step is to let it go. Faith, I believe, is crucial in this journey. Living in faith that you are worth being loved and celebrated even in the low times of life, faith that the right partner exists and that he is making your way to you. Make space for him/her and celebrate yourself today. You set the standard of how you receive love.
  10. Celebrated: So many things to do. I am honoring my heart and doing whatever it is that it wants including getting an awesome massage, listening to music, dancing, writing and sending my love to my most beautiful friends and family.

I hope you do not wait to live life and celebrate love only until your romantic partner comes. I truly believe that is not what makes for a full life. You have so much in your life, it is just a matter of being aware of it and appreciating it. Take some time today to see the depth of love around you, there is plenty I know it. Remember, you set the standard of how the type of love you give and receive.

Happy Valentine’s Day to every single person, you are beautiful.

With Love and a Full Heart,

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