Most of us have one, if not two of these “responses” we use on a regular basis. Many people, unfortunately, are literally crippled with fear, and the sad thing is, that many people allow fear to completely control their lives.
This may come as a surprise to you, as people are mostly unaware, how even unconsciously, fear rules the roost.
The fear of not being good enough. The fear of not being worthy. The fear of what other people will think or do. The fear of rejection. The fear of success. The fear of failure. Sometimes it’s even fear of their own shadows.
All of these, are the reasons why most people never get to do the things they truly want to do with their lives. Fear is why many people, wake up at 90 and wonder why they wasted all their years, worrying about this and worrying about that, instead of getting out there, and enjoying the time they had.
I did it too. I spent years and years, living in fear. I’ve self sabotaged, I’ve procrastinated, I’ve even deliberately destroyed a couple of businesses because I was terribly afraid of what people would think and what they might say, even though the businesses were successful. Yes, I know right?
So, what about you? How does fear control you, and what is your go to response when fear rears it’s ugly head?
Do you go into fight mode, fright mode, or flight mode?
For those out there that instantly go into fight mode. You instantly flare up at any sign of trouble. You may yell and scream, hit or punch out. You may destroy things. You get extremely defensive, and maybe even aggressive. Your anger boils inside you, and you do whatever it takes to WIN!
Many “bullies” use this reaction because it’s the only way they know how to beat down what is really going on inside. FEAR. So, they hit out, they pick on, they tease others, because they believe unconsciously, that if they do that, then people will think they are good enough, worthy enough, and perhaps they won’t get rejected. What they are really looking for, and searching for is love. They are afraid of not being loved, and so they unconsciously react with “fight mode” thinking that will ward off their FEARS.
Some of you will go into fright mode, on inaction mode. You may freeze in situations when, what you really want to do is move, speak, be able to take action. Due to your fear though, you find yourself unable to do anything. You may break into a sweat, and shake uncontrollably.
We have worked with many clients who have had this reaction to their fear. Many of them wanted to speak publicly, but because of the fear that they weren’t good enough which they downloaded when they were just children, even if they did manage to get the speech out, it was an incredibly harrowing experience for them.
I also used to go to this “reaction”. I used to be afraid of heights, and so if I got myself in a situation, which happened from time to time because I wanted to beat the fear, I’d freeze. I’ve been in situations on exercises for local rescue groups, where they’ve had to drop everything and stretcher me down from a single level roof. It really was the only way I was coming down.
Then there is “Flight Mode” which many many people adopt. This is when they’ll simply run away. They simply avoid. They simply ignore and pretend things aren’t happening. Perhaps they’ll just sweep things under the carpet rather than facing them. They will reject. They will do whatever it takes to “escape” the situation, because then it’s gone right?
This reaction, in my opinion causes much more grief than pleasure. In fact all three “reactions” bring their own types of pain and they really don’t help the situation at all, do they?
Imagine if… Instead of resorting to one of these three “reactions”, you were totally in control of your fear, and you were actually fearless? Now I know this is a concept many of you could not even fathom, but what if you could?
What if it was actually possible to do some work on your unconscious mind and remove the emotion of fear altogether? What would that actually allow you to do? Think about it, just for a moment, and ask yourself, what could I do if I actually had no fear?
Tell me… I’d love to hear from you on what you’d do if instead of resorting to what you’ve always done, you took control of your emotions, eliminated fear, and became fearless? What dreams would you fulfil?
You can you know… You just have to Believe That You Can…