I’ve been thinking about my place in life a long time. I believe age 30 will teach me awareness. I decided that I’ll attempt to feel more precious the other 30 years of my way of life. This decision was not easy as pie. There were reasons behind it.
Ever since I could remember, I’m always a well-adjusted person, and I’d never prefer to break someone’s, heart. Whenever I argue with somebody, I used to find a way like texting the first SMS, calling or trying to talk for peace. Although I make an effort to solve the problem between us, some people –except my best friends and family– never mind our friendship. The argument is ended, faces were smiling but every time something had gone from my soul. After all process, I felt depressive because of same offensive experiences. That’s why I’ve promised myself “I’ll never waste my time with people, who don’t care my emotions, my mood anymore”. If I’m right, they should make it up somehow. For my mental health, I have to stop apologizing for who I am. Relationships don’t have to be harmonious for all time.
“The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness. Mindfulness means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn
The other reason why I need to feel more precious is I over-think everything and this habit affects my health. Almost every single day I’m in distress and living in fear of tomorrow. I read lots of articles about anxiety and I realize how painful to live with it, so I get that I should control my mind. But how? Even though I’ve not been ultimately successful yet, I’m struggling to overcome my anxious with meditation. Whenever I stuck inside my own head or I am confused, I listen to calm music, put off my electronic devices somewhere and keep up my mind with peaceful. Also, I read books about meditation and mindfulness so I feel more serene and relax.
I have strong desire to heal my soul. If someone feels like me, here are some advice for us:
Originally published at medium.com