Feeling Fat almost Sabotaged my new Relationship

I've always considered myself pretty but chubby. Body size has been a personal issue for me since childhood, something I'm always trying to get over or get past. But how do you find love when you don't love all of yourself? Let me share with you a personal story of how I navigated my body issues, when a gorgeous man wanted nothing more than to love all of me.

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres on our open platform. We publish pieces as written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team and must meet our guidelines prior to being published.

Feeling fat almost sabotaged my relationship.

I used to believe that my body size tolerable, but a disadvantage. I believed that someone would have to “get over” my weight in order to love me.

The truth was, I needed to get over it.

The first time Tommy saw my body, was by giving me a massage. My back was killing me so he brought over candles, aromatherapy and massage oil. Amazing right?
Well, not if you’re ashamed of your body!!

I was down to my undies, mortified, becoming more and more tense as the massage went on.

I literally thought to myself:“Oh god, he can see my cellulite and my rolls. He must be disgusted. He’s gonna bolt after this.”

I couldn’t enjoy the massage.

Then I snapped out of it. It occurred to me that I had 3 choices:

1. I could suffer through the massage.

2. I could stop the massage.

3. I could LET HIM DECIDE what body type he likes/dislikes and enjoy this massage from a gorgeous man.

I chose #3 and it changed my life.

The idea of letting HIM decide his preferences instead of me deciding FOR HIM was revolutionary for me. In the past, I’d been so afraid of rejection, especially related to my body, that anytime I was at risk of it, I pulled away.

So instead of suffering or pulling away, I let him decide what he likes and enjoyed the damn massage… and it turns out he likes my body. In fact he loves it!

After that day, I made a promise to myself to never let my body issues become his problem. I promised that I would never use him for validation or reassurance about my body. He’s made it quite clear that he’s into this! The rest is for ME to sort out with me.

My Power Love training continues to impact my relationship and the relationships that my clients are now in.

Ask yourself- AM I WORTH IT?

It’s time to say YES TO YOU. It’s time to jump in… no matter how big the SPLASH 😉

Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...


How I Confronted My Body Dysmorphia

by CK Prençi

Why Massages are Important for a Balanced Work Life

by Rosalia Barresi

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.


We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.