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Feel Overwhelmed? Then Do These Things

How to relax more, find more balance and stop overstraining yourself. Focus on your health first, your career and dreams second. Do the things that give you energy, not the things that drain you.

Act Now and Avoid a Burnout

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

It starts relatively harmless. You get a headache. Then you’ll notice they come more frequently. You have difficulty falling asleep at night or wake up during the night.

Your muscles are constantly tense. You’re tired all the time. The brain is often foggy.

You worry (too much), you feel lost sometimes, perhaps there are days you feel gloomy. Maybe you feel rushed, always aiming to complete the next to do on your list (or your boss’s).

If it’s really severe, you might experience panic attacks.

Is this you? Then you might be overstraining yourself. It’s what happened to me in the last month.

Confessions of a Writing Workaholic

Hello, I’m Nick and I’ve been doing way too much. For months, I kept on going. Chasing my dream of becoming a full-time writer. Chasing the growth in all areas. But this was supposed to be something I’d do on the side. I mean, I already have a full-time job, some other projects, a busy social life, etc.

I stretched myself too thin. I’d easily spent 30+ hours a week on my writing, sacrificing my evenings, getting up earlier, working on a Sunday. Don’t get me wrong, I love it. But at what cost? I never took time to relax.

I’m a big consumer of self-help articles/listicles/books. It’s helping me to grow on one hand and on the other hand it’s exhausting me.

It’s in my nature to demand a lot of myself. I must, I must, I must. Read a book per week, write 7,000 words on my novel per week, write 2 blog posts per week (at least), write 1 short story every month, produce 1 podcast episode per month, promote all my writing, keep up with Medium, keep up with my social media channels, work, exercise, meditate, have a morning routine, watch my diet, see my friends, see the latest Netflix show, date, go to the movies, travel, go to museums, … You get the gist.

I just like to say: don’t follow all the advice you encounter, you’ll be overwhelmed… and in my case overstrained. Plus, don’t try to get everything all at once (heck I even used a quote about it and made a case for it in a previous article). Why am I not listening to my own advice?

Why did I overstrain myself? Because I want too much.

Ryan Holiday advised me to publish in as many places as humanly possible. HUMANLY!

Why need to publish a podcast every month, and a short story, and 2–3 blog posts per week, and grow my audience, and write a novel — while working fulltime?

I mean it was me who said do one creative thing and one thing for growth per day. I’d do 3 creative things and 3 for growth. I work at night, I cram in something writing related to pursue my dream.

My own mind demanded inhuman productivity and dedication.

And there it is. The mind. I’m in my head all the time. Anxiety, I wrote about it before.

It’s like my own internal RAM memory has been in used to its max for months. Without ever shutting my computer brain off. No standby. Dozens of programs always running in the background. Hundreds of tabs open on my browser.

Your computer usually hisses and puffs when this happens, it becomes hot. A brain does the same to your body but you’ll only notice the damage done once it really overheats, or worse: explodes.

Health First, Career and Everything Else Second

Rush, rush, rush.

No rest, not hitting pause.

Once you take a break and actually do nothing, you are back in the present. Whether you’re meditating, doing breathing exercises or just simply stare out of the window.

Without health there is no dream. Without your health you can’t even enjoy it.

It’s like you are driving through a beautiful countryside abroad and not take notice because you can only think about the destination.

You aren’t enjoying the seemingly small achievements, so will you ever enjoy the big ones?

With a mind always dreaming of a future outcome you forget to enjoy the beauty of the present.

If you’re paralyzed by your own productivity, overstraining yourself, or even get yourself burned out it’s too late. And all that you’ve done will likely be in vain. You can’t enjoy what you’ve done, let alone continue.

If you can’t continue, you can’t grow. So in order to grow, take care of yourself. At any cost. Otherwise it might end up costing you a lot more.

I don’t know how it is in your country, but here in the Netherlands too many people sit at home completely burned out. Most of them millennials like me.

How to Relax More and Find More Balance

Naturally, this is different for everyone. I made a list of things that spark my anxiety, make me feel rushed and tense. That list was long and it provided me with a roadmap. I needed to approach these situations differently, or even eliminate them.

What gives you energy and what takes it away from you? Focus on the first, eliminate the things that drain you.

I know easier said than done, but you can always do it gradually. Small steps for the big wins.

Since I was having panic attacks and felt so overstrained I couldn’t even read a sentence, I needed to take a long weekend of doing nothing. Which was weird to say the least. I was so used to be in productivity mode.

Luckily, it worked. Walking in the park or on the beach, massages, a sauna visit, lots of reading, napping and just sitting down doing nothing (the hardest thing ever).

But I know that one weekend isn’t the cure for my problem. Just like I schedule my writing, I need to schedule my rest. No excuses.

The following things give me energy and help me to relax and find balance, I’m sure some of them might help you too:

  • Meditation: at least once every day. This is the best tip. When I feel overwhelmed, I used my Headspace app and do a 3-minute session, it almost always works.
  • Walking: preferably in nature or if that’s not possible, in my neighborhood. Walking without a goal or purpose can be very relaxing.
  • Rebounding: I work with trampolines (no joke), so I have a quality rebounder at home. Perfect for softly relaxing my tense muscles and short movement breaks.
  • Running: the best way of exercising for me now, outside, in the park and sweating.
  • Yoga: I’m fairly new to this, but it calms me down.
  • Writing: although one of the causes of stress, it’s also one of the cures. Journaling, writing articles like this, or simply escaping in my of fictional worlds.
  • Cryotherapy: I’m somewhat involved in a cryotherapy business here in Amsterdam. 3-minutes in minus 110 Celsius for a complete reset. It’s tough, but worth it. I almost feel stoned afterwards and sleep very well.
  • 5-Minute breaks: stare, do nothing. Simple, hard, but effective.
  • Read: for now, just fiction.
  • Fewer appointments: I usually had a plan every night, cooking for friends, going out for drinks, whatever. Now I plan 3 nights a week tops and keep the rest to myself. I usually watch a TV series, movie, read or write (moderately).
  • Drawing: something I used to love doing as a kid and teenager. I haven’t made anything in ten years. It’s fun, although I’m not very good.
  • Screenless Sunday’s: This one is hard, but mind-blowingly helpful. I check my phone in the morning, and then I leave it in my room. I read, walk, exercise, draw, nap, stare and do all of the above basically. After dinner I allow myself to watch some tv though.

This is the beauty of writing. Just writing about this makes me feel somewhat relieved and relaxed.

I know I’m not the only one stretching myself too thin.

Let me know if you struggle with this as well.

What do you do to find balance in your life and avoid overwhelming yourself?

Thanks for reading.

Previously published on Medium.com.

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