Lately I’ve been experiencing a lot of fear around missing out on people and things. You know, “FOMO.” Something I’ve never really had in my life before. But as I begin to transition into what’s next and level up in all areas of my life… the fear of missing out has been strangely intense at times.
You see, life’s been calling me to step it up lately. To play a very different game with new people and challenges… and to walk away from all that’s known, comfortable, and familiar. It’s caused me to turn my attention towards a totally new and different path. A path that’s already taken me into new experiences, a new business model, and a whole new tribe.
But what about this life I’ve built?
What about the community that’s held me for so long?
And what about the body of work I fought so hard to create?
“I think it’s grief,” a soul sister said to me recently. “You’re grieving the life you’re leaving behind and the person you used to be inside of it.”
“YES,” I responded, “that’s so true.”
Grief comes with so much fear of the unknown.
Fear of having to start over or begin again. Fear of failure when there’s so much new you have to learn. And when your grief stems from a place of letting go… it comes with a lot of fear of missing out. Because when you’re asked to walk a new path that carries you away from what’s familiar, from those who’ve kept you safe and loved and happy, it’s terrifying to think about your known, comfortable life and community continuing on without you.
Until you learn to keep facing forward.
To not look back longingly at what used to be.
And to stop focusing on all that you’ve left behind.
“The part of you that’s afraid, that’s the wound,” a new friend said to me one night. “Don’t feed the wound. Feed the part of you that’s coming alive and you’ll be too busy living and experiencing an amazing life to notice the fear.”
My heart leapt as his words landed.
Because he was so right.
I closed my eyes and imagined what that meant. Pouring myself into my writing, my art, my new passion for photography. Traveling and exploring and meeting adventurous, kindred souls along the way. People as free spirited and spontaneous as me. Experiencing so much of what life and living in this world has to offer. Building this new body of work that creates the change and impact I desire to make. More living and laughing and loving with people who see me fully, who love me for exactly who I am. More depth of connection, conversations about everything and nothing all at once… under the stars, around campfires, in new spaces. And more nature. So much more nature.
Just like that, the fear vanished.
Because my heart was happy and my soul felt full.
Just at the thought of feeding that part that’s coming alive.
And the doing? The actual feeding of the part that’s coming alive? Meeting new people and having new experiences? Pouring myself into the work?
Well… that feels even better than the thinking about it.
It’s shifted so much for me, so quickly.
So, don’t feed the wounding or the fear.
Keep facing forward and stop focusing on what you’ve left behind.
Feed the part of you that’s coming alive.
Originally published at medium.com