And how to overcome the fear?
What is “Fear of FREEDOM”? Though we live in a place where we don’t have respect, don’t see self-worth, no life with very abusive relationships, we adjust, compromise in living the same life instead of choosing the change. We always carry fear in life to free ourselves or to make a change. From the outside, we judge, ‘Why don’t people want to try change?’ Because we get ‘comfortable being uncomfortable’.
I lived that way for as long as I remember. My ex-hub is very abusive. Abusive in every way possible. Physically, mentally, financially, emotionally, you name it, it is there. People around are not comfortable even to ask if I’m ok when they look at me because of the bruises on me or his egoistic voice.
Sometimes we all get that breaking point or pushed to the edge with no other choice except to cross the line to free ourselves. The very thought of crossing the line at that time without choice is scarier than deciding to do cross the line. Making it a choice will have self-confidence and preparedness for the upcoming change, but without choosing it, man, NO! That fear of freedom or fear of unknown is REAL! We have to deal with a lot of what-ifs ourselves. It leaves you in a place that makes you feel you can’t breathe. Sometimes it even pushes you to a place where you think death is better than this. I know this because I have been there. I gave up. I gave in to the thought of killing myself instead of facing it because I DO NOT KNOW THE ANSWER FOR WHAT’S AFTER!
When your thoughts go to this extent, take a break from everything. Absolutely everything to relax by silencing your mind. Give your mind a minute to breathe, rest, not be scared, not think of anything, just absolute silence. In that silence, slowly introduce your what-ifs, one at a time. Whether you know the answer or not, understand that what-if scenario. This practice will give you a chance to have your mind to expect and be prepared to face anything that comes your way!
As mentioned before, we live our lives comfortably in that uncomfortable situations because of fear of crossing that line, fear of the unknown! One thing to keep in mind is we don’t lose anything new when we try to cross the line. We gain a different level of confidence in ourselves instead. If we are not successful with the attempt we made, we stay where we are. Also, we open a new door to different level of possibilities, opportunities by opening this door of trying! Do Not look at failure as failure. Look at it as an area to grow because you are building new by breaking the old! So don’t ever be afraid of failure, be afraid of not trying instead! YOU ONLY FAIL WHEN YOU STOP TRYING!
How to overcome this fear of freedom, the unknown?
Simple, by trying! Yes I said ‘simple’ not ‘easy’!
Start small in practicing by facing those minor discomforts.
- Drive to a place that you have never driven.
- Strike a conversation with someone new.
- Pen something that is bothering you for a long.
- Go to a new place alone that is so known.
- Stop bothering about getting judged, face the people.
Some of them are silly simple things but will indeed have an impact on what you are trying. Once you get the taste of it, trust me, you will start exploring the possibilities of new life, the new you!
More acceptance and less judgment is what the world needs, and it starts from within!