One Saturday night a dear friend that I have known for many years, in the Nashville business community, gave me a call on his way home from the hospital. His wife just had breast cancer surgery. He was uplifting as always and happy to talk, sharing news about his sweet wife and what they had to do in the following months. We talked about our faith in God and how our life has given us some lemons and caused some detours.
As I listened to him, I paused…
Here I was reliving some of the moments of last year. It has been almost a year since my first appointment with Nashville breast cancer surgeon Dr Pat Whitworth. It was a crisp, autumn morning, and I could still smell the cool October air . Nature was changing its colors. On October 16, 2019 my life drastically changed, and I had to embrace a completely new journey. The past 11 months have brought so much deep spiritual awakening and beautiful transformation with a lot of sweet a-ha moments and pure tears of joy. It has been a year of deep forgiveness and healing. It was my personal journey to find my anchors and evaluate many priorities in my life, let go of the things that did not matter anymore and say YES to the real happy Tatyana.
Looking back at the past year, my spiritual quest was to face the chaotic times in my life, embrace the change and find love tucked in my heart that I somehow lost a few years ago right after my divorce . As I am writing this evening, the sunshine peeking through the curtains after the rain reminded me of the good days ahead… Sometimes you might ask yourself, “Why do I go through all these challenges and trials.”
My spiritual teacher told me once, “Tatyana, you have handled the worst hardships, you have the power within to handle any crisis with grace and humor because God knows you can do it. “
And just like that….I was supporting a dear friend, a husband to a beautiful young lady across the country and speaking healing, love and joy into their hearts. At the end of the call my friend asked what I did differently that brought me out of the fear zone into the warrior mode.
There was a pause then I answered, “It was my choice to either let life happen to me or pray for God’s wisdom to make the right decisions and be proactive in my healing journey. “
We all desire a magic God’s touch to heal us and make it go away. We have a blind faith and maybe it is important to be that faithful, but the truth is that healing does not happen by just sitting on your yoga mat and doing nothing. It takes bold faith and action. It requires discovering who you are and finding your way.
You choose to find your calm and your anchor. You choose to stay positive and in gratitude. You also surround yourself with women who have been in your shoes and could give you solid advice.
There is an amazing level of inner strength you feel coming from these women warriors. They might be fragile and petite, but they have beautiful strong souls.
You know it…Every day is a battle. Every day we have a choice to make things happen. Every day we can look at our life as an opportunity to grow even when it hurts, or we can give up and not care. Let’s talk about top three things to help you get through the crazy times.
- Being a strong woman.
Being a strong woman is more than being a female version of a Roman Gladiator. There is nothing that can be compared to the strength you find when cancer attacks your body and you learn to love yourself even more and it becomes your true power. Being strong is the only choice you have and first you will cry, break down, fall apart and then you will gradually put yourself together. Every day I would affirm I choose health. I choose healing. I choose life. Because tomorrow is not guaranteed. You give the best to yourself first.
My advice to you- speak your desires into existence. Speak healing and love into your life. That is where your strength is hidden. It is the power of your words that changes your mindset, changes your energy, and changes your life. The words can bring peace or cause stress. The first time I came to Dr Whitworth’s office, there was a poster on the wall about managing stress. The Whitworth “stressometer” was an amazing way to identify where you were on your healing journey.
The most life changing practice I have ever done was the practice of gratitude. It is something you choose every day. You pull everything out of your heart. You speak with your heart only. You let your heart lead you on what to say and how to express gratitude. The beauty of this practice is that Gratitude changes you. It opens your heart to loving others and yourself. It helps you stay stronger. Gratitude gives you a new hope. When you are grateful you have no place for negativity and complaining. You cannot serve two masters and you can only choose one. I often would write my gratitude for my healing and I would voice it very loud in my car often yelling to God how grateful I was He had already healed me. I think God got tired of my soulful and passionate conversations with Him and how He brought so much healing into my life…and he worked through others. Practicing gratitude opened doors to meeting the most amazing people and receiving so much love from my family and friends.
2. Unconditional Self-Love
Gratitude has led me to experiencing more love and the hardest thing I had to do was to learn to accept love as well. Quite often many strong women do not know how to love themselves fully and they have a hard time accepting love and care from others. Often it is a cultural thing or a family thing. In my Russian culture women were taught to never complain and take care of their lives. We were taught to survive and get through the crisis times with a smile and some red lipstick on. Red lipstick was my grandmother’s idea to remind herself that she was always beautiful no matter what happened.
When you learn to accept love, you will feel worthy and when you feel worthy of being loved and appreciated for who you are today your life will change. Your transformation will happen fast when you learn to accept love and love yourself. Because everything you will do in your life will come from the place of love for who you are, including your healing, your relationships, your career, and your business. Everything will change.
Allowing others to help you and accepting care and love is something I had to learn in the past few years. You want to be this wonder woman with a blue cape on ready to take on any challenge and you want to be that strong woman for everyone. When you agree with the idea that having help is totally cool, you finally realize once you accept love you can give more love back into the world. Your heart is finally healing and everything else falls in place. You are more motivated to do things you have delayed for years and months and you are motivated to change your lifestyle.
- Your Experts Circle: Your Wizards and Advisers.
Do you have a good support system and a solid medical team?
I have been very blessed to have an amazing breast cancer surgeon, Dr Pat Whitworth with Nashville Breast Center. He is an incredible doctor who has been a big blessing in my life and who has encouraged me to practice mindfulness and work on reducing stress.
I am grateful for my friends that provided an amazing holistic health education
I am grateful for my church friends who supported me in so many ways. I am so grateful for my dear friends who reminded me how strong I was and who prayed for me and my healing.
I am grateful for my book agent Julie who inspired me to write and share real life experiences.
I am grateful to my sons who are my rock and joy. They are my miracles. They are my true loves.
I am grateful to my parents from whom I have managed to hide the truth about the breast cancer diagnoses for many months and finally gave in and revealed the news. I am grateful they stayed calm.
I am grateful for this journey.
I am grateful for my life.
Are you grateful for your inner circle? Tell them today.
When you truly embrace your strength, find gratitude and self- love and surround yourself with the most loving positive people the magic thing happens. It is when a healing begins….
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