I was on my usual daily routine when a young man I know interrupted me to request that I do something major for him. His request will require an adjustment, change or a compromise of my schedule to fulfill it, so I asked why he hadn’t asked earlier since he knew he would need something like that following day. I told him though I make room for unforeseen agenda and circumstances, my day is usually planned a night before and I wouldn’t meet every unplanned demand. He angrily walked out complaining about my terms.
I couldn’t blame him because he wasn’t used to having standards and priorities and living by them, the Nancy he had known was available at any time and her time was up for grabs, but I had evolved and forgot to serve him the memo. I am now focused on a personal vision and growing into who I need to be and it requires an adjustment not everyone would understand but I will keep growing anyway.
We are born into a society which contributes to who we become. However, there is a stage in life where you cannot blame society for who you are- you take responsibility and grow. Nature has enough space for those who choose to remain the same all their lives and such people can only attract what their current level deserve- anything beyond who they are currently will be burden instead of a blessing, because who they are at the moment cannot handle it. This is why it is necessary to evolve and grow as a person, because there is a version of you that can accommodate and handle the bigger things you wish and even pray for and it cannot be found in your current state.
Personal growth development is a personal decision which demands intentional efforts to be better, and it begins with having a personal vision for your life- you have to decide who you want to be and grow into that person. Society and people are not obliged to adjust to accommodate your growth process, just like the gentleman who angrily walked out on me, so will you not always have their support but your hunger for growth should be stronger.
Being on a growth journey doesn’t mean you ignore everyone you know because you want to be better, it only requires standards and priorities that will allow you practice your growth more, and sometimes it will require less engagement with the person you used to be, which many people might not like. Some people will never have a taste of growth because of the company they keep and the things they permit. As much as it depends on you, choose your friends based on destiny.
Change is usually fought against by people, it is an ancient disaster, the only tragedy today is that, it is the seemingly well meaning educated young people who we assume know better, that resist it. That is why your friends who you’ve moved with for long will be the ones who will have a problem with who you are becoming, the same reason why society will criticize you and say you have become “some way”, but you are free to outgrow people. You don’t embark on a personal growth journey and hope to fit in. It is breaking away from a pattern to standout.
Never let what people will say or think about you stop you from having high standards, aiming too high, and setting audacious and ambitious goals. People would always want you to accept them just the way they are – and in doing so, earn their love, this is not always bad but the truth is, you cannot carry everyone and everything into your future. Love people always but it is also ok to outgrow them and move on while still loving them. Evolve so hard people will have to get to know you again.
No matter how advanced we become in technology and knowledge, there will still be people whose mindset would never change. A generation can be so used to mediocrity, a change for the better feels like a threat to them. The Stone Age didn’t end because people ran out of stones. It ended because people kept learning and improving. Strive to perform better day by day, think differently.
It’s time to commit yourself to intentional personal growth, learn continuously, dream big, think differently, increase your value, improve, and become better without apologies. Time is the unit of life- your life is measured in how you use your time, don’t let anyone waste your time because they are familiar. Do not do things to please people at the expense of your growth. Your life is as enjoyable as your growth level.
You are enough, you are unique, you are good, you are loved and you can always be more and better. The person you are becoming will cost you people, relationships, spaces, and material things. Choose the person you are becoming over everything- evolve for the better. There is a better version of you seeking for expression, so grow into it.
Though I made time for what the gentleman needed, I made him understand that I was not accessible on his timelines. I am not who I used to be and it’s either I grow with people or I outgrow them, I won’t stand still for anyone. Be so obsessed with upgrading your life in every single aspect that you have no time to waste, become a better person all round.
Let’s make it uncomfortable for people to remain the same. It is true that we cannot change another person, but we can be the reason they desire to change!! Be the reason!