Whenever I get angry, I am told that it is a bad thing.
One fine day I thought to have an encounter with my anger. I sat down to listen to it and understand what it needs from me.
Does it want me to feel guilty?
Does it want to ruin my image?
Does it want me to be rude?
And all such questions.
It listened to me carefully and said ‘I did not hear a single word of praise for me. Am I so bad?’
And then I realised, that I see my anger only from a negative screen, let me change my perception once and try to understand it more rationally this time.
My anger is the way my body communicates with me, when it is not feeling happy. The reason of unhappiness could be any, like when my expectations are not met, when I am not being understood, when I do not receive my share of respect, when someone tries to take undue advantage of me and such similar situations.
It is the way my body prepare me to react to undesirable situations, that makes me feel bad. It is my body’s defence mechanism to warn others and put them off.
Then why I want to get rid of it?
My anger empowers me to raise my voice against oppression. It helps me to stand in all odds and against all odds. It energises me and prepares me physically to resist the wrong and take an action.
Anger is one of the most powerful emotion. The burst of energy that is generated when we are angry, forces us to take immediate action. It empowers us to do those difficult tasks, which may have seemed impossible otherwise.
Have you felt the change in your voice or your body strength when you are angry?
Can you visualise a picture of an angry animal, what do you see?
A roaring lion or a small kitten?
Anger makes us so powerful. It is the defence mechanism of our body to prepare us to take an action.
It is not inhuman to get angry, but doing inhuman acts in anger have to be avoided. Anger is not bad in itself, it is the way we react in anger that makes it bad.
“Anyone can get angry, that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – this is not easy.”
– Aristotle
Next time when you get angry, just pause and ask yourself ‘Why’ i.e. why I am getting angry? and once you get the answer, decide ‘How’ i.e. how to respond? Focus on the reason behind the anger and try to find out the root cause, once cause is identified then decide how to respond appropriately to get desired results, with compassion towards self and others.
Most of the times, when we are angry, the best thing to do is, not to do anything. Just enter the internal cave for some time, be aware of self, pay attention to the thoughts, let them settle down and then think about the action. Once we start practicing this, it won’t take more than some seconds to cool down. Just like if we want to cool down the boiling oil, we cannot put water on it, we have to wait and give it time to cool down on its own.
Just remember, if we can control our anger in front of those with higher authority, then we can definitely control it in front of all others.
Start paying attention to your anger with compassion and try to decode the message it has for you. Respond and not react.
When you start loving what you hate,
the things that stressed you once start healing you.
My how is not a reaction any more, it is a response.
My anger helps me to connect to myself,
It helps to keep myself high,
It is because of my anger, that I know I am active,
It empowers me and energise.
I am thankful to my anger for making me aware,
It is a part of me that makes me thrive.
To those who think anger is a negative emotion,
It has turned me more compassionate and wise.
Poonam Madaan