It is so easy so easily to slip back into the old person you have been. In the past 12 days I have shared 12 principles of Emotional Intelligence ways to identify things in all of us and myself that we can work on. For me I could have easily trudged along on my well-trodden path of negative self-talk, comfortably overanalyzing, and well-worn pessimistic beliefs about myself. I sound almost human. Honestly, for all of us we can return to the old patterns so easily. It becomes a habit, if you will. We already have the knowledge of how to do it, it is almost automatic, and it is comfortable because we used to use it. To not use those old habits and known self-destructive thoughts and behaviors takes dedicated work. As you do the dedicated work and are intentional about the change your making it becomes easier and you will end up not thinking about the changes and will just use them. The old, destructive habits are still in in you, yet you do not use them or even consider them as appropriate. It is the same as Recovery.
Ignite yourself, reread the past days writing, formulate your change plan and get to work. In those great words from Larry the Cable Guy: “Get Er Done”.
“What do I need?”
We are never going to create lasting change if we don’t believe in our own mission. I suspect you are up to something big in reading all 12 Wellbeing emails. I truly believe that something has ignited inside of you. I bet that there is nothing else, worthy of your attention toward the change you need or want to make in you. So, what is it that need or want? Think big– what of these twelve emails has really spoken to your heart and mind; what is whispering to you?
Write a few of these big goals down and remember them as we move into the next phase.
“How do I get there? “Now that we’ve thought big, it’s time to think small. What are some baby steps you can take to get to these big goals? What acts, done consistently over time, will lead you to your big goals? Write them down, put them somewhere visible, and do them. There are a few tips to successfully latching on to new habits, if you haven’t already found your own ways of doing so. Attach them to a current habit (I will count my blessings while I brush my teeth). Create a daily to-do list with your new habits on it (and smile big when you check it off!). Develop some vulnerability with a friend to tell them your goals and ask them to help keep you accountable or listen to a podcast on the subject you are wanting to practice to boost your awareness of the topic. Set a concrete time limit for practicing.
Whatever ends up working for you, don’t forget to reflect. Take time to measure your progress, whether it is with a journal, a therapist, a friend, or a spreadsheet. Ready, set, PRACTICE!
I hope that the articles leading up to today have served as an inspiration and a springboard for making life much more enjoyable. Writing these has made these skills much more real and make me remember what they really mean. Thank You. I look forward to hearing from you if you care to share.
Marc Baisden MACP, CMHC, MIN (all rights reserved Jan 2019)