The ability to recognize an emotion as it “happens” is the key to your EQ. Developing self-awareness requires tuning in to your true feelings. If you evaluate your emotions, you can manage them. The significant elements of self-awareness are:
Emotional Awareness — your ability to recognize your own emotions and their effects
Self-confidence — sureness about your self-worth and capabilities
As a part of our series about “Emotional Intelligence, I had the pleasure of interviewing Lance Tyson.
Lance Tyson, a natural-born industry leader, is an authority in the sales world with a passion for developing influential business leaders. Lance has worked with some of the biggest names in sports and entertainment, including the Madison Square Garden and the Dallas Cowboys.
After leaving school to start his first business, Lance began working for Dale Carnegie Training. He rose through the ranks, eventually building the most successful Dale Carnegie Training operation in North America and #2 in the world. After a fifteen-year run, Lance sold his interest in the Dale Carnegie Training franchise to form PRSPX, and later, Tyson Group. PRSPX roots were in the development of sales professionals and revenue streams alike, inclusive of a hands-on business development service called Demand Generation. The focus of the Tyson Group is to evaluate sales teams and propose solutions, delivering results that make sense for the organization’s needs. Tyson Group, a proud Selling Power Magazine Top 20 Sales Training Company for the past three years consecutively, was recognized in the publication’s first-ever Top 20 Online Sales Training Companies list for 2020.
Further proving themselves as the nation’s leader in developing champion sales teams, Tyson Group was selected by Training Industry for the Top Sales Training Companies Watch list 2020. The Stevie Awards for Sales & Customer Service also presented them with the Silver Stevie® Award in the category of Sales Consulting Practice of the Year in the 14th annual contest.
The industry leader in sales training, development, and management, Lance Tyson, is passionate about sharing his knowledge with others to help them achieve sales success in today’s erratic, ever-changing marketplace. He has led countless workshops, trainings, and keynote presentations for audiences of all sizes. With decades of experience in his field, Lance can present on any topic in sales and leadership with authority.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I grew up in Conshohocken and outside of the greater Philadelphia area. We had moved six times by the time I was in 10th grade, so I was always the new kid. Being the new kid forced me to learn how to make friends and develop connections quickly — which has served me well as an adult. Though stability can be beneficial for kids, that experience gave me much more of an edge than anything else in life. I’ve always had to learn to accept change and be agile even if I wasn’t always on sure footing.
What or who inspired you to pursue your career? We’d love to hear the story.
Growing up, I was a horrible student in high school, and specifically, I had a tough time with math. I had to take algebra 1A and 1 B in 9th and 10th grade, and it took me two years to pass geometry. I was just not a good student, and I had to go to summer school before my senior year. Over time I realized it wasn’t that I was a lousy student; it just turns out I was a good student in the subjects that interested me. I was able to graduate from high school. Growing up, my dad was an entrepreneur, and for a while, I thought after high school, I would go work for him. I figured I could eventually take over his business because I had always been fascinated with success and that entrepreneurial spirit.
On the other hand, I wanted to go to West Point or Annapolis because I was fascinated by the military. I ended up entering the Marines, and after a year, I received an honorable medical discharge due to a pre-existing injury. After the Marines, I started a new job. I quickly realized working my way up the corporate ladder just wasn’t for me. At that time, I worked with someone named Rick Fleming. We worked for the largest construction company in the United States, Bechtel Corporation, which built a nuclear power plant outside of Philly. Rick was what we call a self-learner with no college degree, but I was fascinated by how successful he was. He had worked his way up through Bechtel, which was a massive Fortune 500 company. I was inspired, and I decided to go to college, but I was determined to pay for it without my parents’ help. Once I decided to pursue a formal education, I had to think long and hard about what I wanted to do. I knew that I wanted to be an entrepreneur, but I also knew that I admired those excellent at public speaking. For that reason, I thought I would be good at being a lawyer because they get up in front of people and talk all the time.
During this time in my life, I had become very self-read. I read many success books, biographies, Success Magazine, Selling Power, and anything I could get my hands on that would teach me about personal development and help me get to another level. I decided love for public speaking was not reason enough for me to go into law school. I started to follow gurus like Stephen Covey and Anthony Robbins, and I decided I wanted to be most like them. Ultimately, they inspired me to be an entrepreneur and began my career in writing and public speaking. I believe it was a blend of me wanting to have my own business and having a high-value system that attracted me to being a lifelong learner in personal development. The accumulation of those experiences led me to this industry and has fueled my dedication to teaching and helping people achieve their goals.
None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Was there a particular person who you feel gave you the most help or encouragement to be who you are today? Can you share a story about that?l
In 1996, I was hired in sales for Dale Carnegie training in Philadelphia. The man that hired me, Mark, was everything I wanted to be. He was handsome, a great public speaker, a fantastic salesperson, and an effective manager. After a few years of growth and success, he asked me to grab a bite to eat with him because he wanted to talk to me. I was thrilled to spend any minute I could learning from him. The conversation went differently than I had anticipated.
He told me, “I have good news, and I have bad news.” So, I said, “Okay, hit me with the bad news.” He went on to tell me that he was selling the Dale Carnegie business in Philadelphia. So, I said, “Okay, now tell me the good news.” He explained that he had planned to take me with him to St. Louis to invest and help lead the Dale Carnegie operation. However, the buyer/ investor in the Philadelphia office, Sam Iorio, didn’t want to purchase the Philly branch unless I was a part of the deal.
I never really thought I was that critical to the company’s success; being a significant part of the negotiation was flattering. I was young at the time — mid-twenties and three months away from marrying my beautiful wife, Lisa. Moving from Philadelphia to St. Louis was a big decision to make, and I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. Not too long after, Sam asked me if I would introduce him to some of my clients and spend some time with him to get to know me better. When we pulled up to Spectra Graphics — a printing company and my biggest client at the time — he asked me what I wanted to do with my career. I replied, “I’ll be honest with you, Sam, I want to be somebody like you. I want to end up owning one of these franchises.”
He then asked me if I was leaning towards staying in Philadelphia or moving to St. Louis. At the time, I was leaning towards St. Louis; I knew Mark very well, he had helped propel me, and it was a new and exciting environment. When I said this to Sam, he told me, “You’re going to be successful whether you go to St. Louis or stay here. The decision you need to make is this: do you want to be successful around strangers, or do you want to be successful surrounded by friends and family?” I thought about that for a while. He asked me again, “So, what do you want to do?” I repeated that I wanted to be like him. That day, sitting in his car, he promised me that he would make sure I owned one of the franchises — and he stuck to his word. Within two years, he sold me 25% of his business — the same percentage he sold to his children.
A year after I had bought into the business, I told him that I wanted to go off independently. He then helped me buy the Cleveland Dale Carnegie operation and divest out of his company. He delivered on every promise he ever made to me.
Sam Iorio taught me how to be a leader. He taught me how to be a successful businessperson. He always used to say, “In business, sales are the showerhead, and expenses are the drain. The showerhead needs to be bigger than the drain. That’s all you need to know.” I run my current business, Tyson Group, using that method to this day. He taught me how to keep score. If you walked into the Tyson Group today, you’d see that we keep score every week; we score how much business has come in every week.
Outside of my dad, Sam Iorio is the person I give credit to for helping me get to where I am today.
Can you share the funniest or most interesting mistake that occurred to you in the course of your career? What lesson or take away did you learn from that?
I went to work for Dale Carnegie training because I thought it would help me in many areas that I wanted to succeed in, such as public speaking and sales. Ultimately, I hoped to be able to buy one of their operations or franchises. In my territory was this organization called McNeil consumer processed products, which was the manufacturer of Tylenol. The company for McNeil was Johnson & Johnson pharmaceuticals. Every month we would get these books that were databases of any company around the United States that would buy training. I had noticed that the northern New Jersey operation was doing hundreds of thousands of dollars a year in leadership training in the main Johnson and Johnson facilities. I realized that I had a big Johnson and Johnson facility in my area, which was McNeil consumer products.
I decided I need to figure out how to get in the McNeil consumer products. I did what every good salesperson would do, and I stopped by the facility. Being young, I didn’t think that this was a major pharmaceutical plant, and you couldn’t just drive in and show up. I tried sending letters and emails, all of which were unanswered. I started to get frustrated because I saw these other facilities doing all of this work with Johnson & Johnson do all this work. I was determined to get in there.
I continued trying all sorts of things, but I still couldn’t get an appointment with anyone. I showed up at local breakfast spots in the area, hoping I would bump into somebody that worked there. I even dropped off a McDonald’s Happy Meal to someone I was hoping to meet with and even went so far as to go to happy hours at pubs in the area, hoping to run into someone that could give me an intro. I tried for months, but nothing worked.
Finally, I got inside info to get in touch with someone named Robert Mars, the plant manager. I tried calling, sending emails and letters, but I still couldn’t get an appointment. I thought that maybe if he could get to know me, I could win a meeting. So, I started calling every Thursday at 1:30 pm and would leave messages. I told him that I would introduce myself first and follow up every Thursday, leaving a little more information about myself. I started by telling him my name and where I grew up, where I went to school, and that I was in sales. I told him I had recently been married to my wife Lisa, and that we like to go out to Ben Elbow on Thursday, that we took a vacation with Lisa’s parents. I even talked about how we just bought our first house. I must have called him for three months every Thursday.
Finally, he picked up one day and said, “Lance, you can call me Bob.” He told me that seven of his managers were in his office listening on speaker. Every week, everybody came into his office around two o’clock to listen to my voicemails. The managers told him that he wasn’t human unless he gave me an appointment, and he gave me one. It was funny. I almost hung up the phone because I was caught off guard. I did not expect him to answer. The biggest lesson I learned was that perseverance, persistence, and consistency cause good things to happen.
The road to success is hard and requires tremendous dedication. This question is obviously a big one, but what advice would you give to a young person who aspires to follow in your footsteps and emulate your success?
The first thing that comes to my mind is a passage by Dr. Seuss. He said, “You’ll succeed. Yes, you will indeed 98 and three-quarters percent guaranteed kid you’ll move mountains.” The key here is you’ll succeed, yes you will indeed 98 and three-quarters percent guaranteed. I think that that kind of belief in abundance is going to get you there. It’s easier said than done. Right?
I was listening to Rhonda Byrne the other day, who wrote the book, The Secret, and talked a lot about abundance. I believe that unsuccessful people think more in terms of scarcity rather than abundance.
The other thing is that I can tie any success I’ve had to people’s shoulders and their willingness to lift me on their shoulders. The obvious suspects were my parents, but Rick Fleming also was influential. He was willing to take a risk for me to work for him at Bechdel and give me responsibility. I was just a high school graduate, and he gave me a lot of responsibility that caused me to want to go to school.
I think of somebody like Mark Norman, who hired me at Dale Carnegie and spend so much time with me on appointments and mentoring me. I think about Sam Iorio, who allowed me to buy into his business. Barry Reinhardt taught me about how he invested in real estate, and he was willing to spend some time with me to teach me how to do the same.
If somebody is going to emulate me, it’s essential to know who your support network is, and if you don’t have a network, you need to create one because your success is not going to vacuum ever. Right? The critical part is hooking into the right people and making that connection. I think Dr. Seuss also said:
“You can get so confused
that you’ll start to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…”
“You’ll get mixed up, of course,
As you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
With many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
And remember that Life’s
A Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.”
The key here is that you have to hook in with different birds. I think that’s what it’s about; you’re not so into your dream and your vision that you can’t see that that there might be a prism, that prism that fragments the light a little bit. So, you might need to turn left or right.
Is there a particular book, film, or podcast that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
I think one of the most impactful books I’ve read is called Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Viktor Frankl was a psychologist that survived the Holocaust. He makes the main point that it wasn’t the strongest that survived the concentration camps; it wasn’t the most beautiful or the healthiest. The people who lived were the people that had the vision to say; I’m going to live to tell this story. His story was about how he felt the drive to survive to tell his story and so that others could learn from his experience. It was powerful because it is about the power of the mind and the power to script a future and see what brought so much meaning to somebody’s life.
Can you share your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Why does that resonate with you so much?
Two lessons stick out to me. Life lessons have become vales in our company. We have this value system in our company, and we call them -isms. The first is, “Do it. Do it right. Do it right now.” Meaning act with a sense of urgency. The second would be, “The world is your oyster.” Meaning seek out opportunities, which ties back into that abundance mentality I mentioned earlier. The world is your oyster comes back to something my dad taught me. I didn’t realize at the time it was a famous saying; I found that out later. He would say, find your pearl because potentially, in oysters, there is a pearl inside. The Pro wisdom from that saying is that the pearl is the opportunity, and that gem is hard to find, but it’s worth something. This ties back to personal development and why I am in my line of work.
What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?
One of the most exciting projects that I am involved in is working with professional sports teams. There has been this debate of when things get back to “normal,” and I’ve worked with leaders and managers, and we see that there is a level of false hope there. I believe that this is the “new normal,” and there isn’t a switch or pill out there that will take us to how life was pre-March 2020. Some of the most exciting projects I’m working on, whether it be with the Padres, the Phoenix Suns, or the Dallas Cowboys, are looking at sales and business culture and finding out what that new culture looks like. Now people are working remotely and asking, “how does that change key performance indicators, or operations, and leads?” That’s probably the most exciting stuff. And then secondly were redefining how our clients in sports entertainment are selling and what they are selling. Those projects will help shift how we do business, hire people, and train people.
I think that managers and leaders are starting to realize that people’s mindset and headspace are critical right now because so many people are struggling with everything that’s going on. The economy is different, and It’s rougher out there. We’re dealing with things like social injustice, which affects how some people do business, which ties in diversity inclusion, and on top of this, a worldwide pandemic. It’s not like a natural disaster in one part of the country that everyone can sympathize with. I can empathize with stress, but I can’t empathize with the wildfire. The pandemic is affecting everyone, and we are all dealing with it from a 360-degree view.
This ties into emotional intelligence (EQ) to how people lead and manage. It is forcing conversations to go deeper. If you look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the first two levels of the base of Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs are survival and safety. Everything that’s going on in the world, especially the pandemic, has affected people’s mindset related to those needs. Our relationship as leaders has become different, especially in sales, where there’s a perception that salespeople should be confident all the time, and they should act a certain way. But a lot of them are struggling.
On top of that, you have some industries that it’s feast or famine, like the sports and entertainment industries, and you have other sectors that are doing well. For instance, we just finished working with a manufacturer in the paper and pulp business who’s doing well because there is a toilet paper shortage and high demand. But in turn, their salespeople are struggling because they can’t even meet people face to face now, and those are points of stress for them.
OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the core focus of our interview. Can you briefly tell our readers a bit about why you are an authority about Emotional Intelligence?
I don’t know if I’m as much an authority as I am a person who has observed, participated, and not performed as well as I’ve needed to. I’ve had to be practical with emotional intelligence, and I’ve had to be a practitioner with emotional intelligence. If you look at what the Tyson group does, we work with sales leaders and their teams to help them compete in the complex world. Doing things like understanding customer motivation, a salesperson’s motivation, and an entrepreneur’s motivation. The question being asked in this headspace, “how do you perform under stress or pressure?”
In terms of the pandemic, we’ve been asked to come in so often to help with salespeople’s morale or the organization’s morale because they have had to re-engineer, fire, merge, purge, lay off employees. I see the leaders beat up and are questioning themselves. Organizations have had to ask tough questions like, “what’s more important, the ship or the crew?”
If I’m an authority, it’s because I’ve had to be practical about EQ with our clients. I have struggled this year with emotional intelligence. I don’t think I’m an expert, but just me dealing with my own COVID experience; my emotional intelligence was at an all-time low because I was totally in my head.
For the benefit of our readers, can you help to define what Emotional Intelligence is?
There are a few angles that you have to look at with emotional intelligence. For example, are you self-aware of your own emotions? Are you aware of your self-confidence or lack thereof? Can you self-regulate? Do you understand what your motivation is? What’s your ability to empathize or even sympathize with ideas? The next part has to do with your social skills. More simply, that means, how can you control your attitude under stress or pressure? And how and that stress or anxiety control your attitude? If someone else’s actions cause you to become in disarray, how do you react to that?
How is Emotional Intelligence different from what we normally refer to as intelligence?
Emotional intelligence recognizes that you can control some factors and some that you can’t. The best analogy EQ this is your comfort zone. If you’re interacting inside your comfort zone, you know what to expect. If you’re suddenly dealing with things outside of your comfort zone, you don’t necessarily know what your reaction will be to someone else’s action. When I’m inside my comfort zone, I can focus on other people since I know what will happen. When I’m functioning outside of my comfort zone, I have to put the focus on myself. The difference is the sense of interaction with people, and the cause and effect of things around you, which is different from intelligence. If I had a choice, I would take EQ over IQ any day.
Can you help explain a few reasons why Emotional Intelligence is such an important characteristic? Can you share a story or give some examples?
Emotional intelligence is so important. Like we talked about earlier, most of our successes are usually piggyback on somebody else’s shoulders or with a brand, a manager, or somebody who has been invested in you. This emotional intelligence characteristic is essential because most of us in our roles don’t live under our mushroom somewhere in the dark. We are usually connected with people, whether it be managing up, managing laterally, or underneath of us, whatever that communication is. That is why it’s such an essential characteristic because EQ is in play at all times.
If you don’t have emotional intelligence, you’re reacting to things that you may be reading incorrectly, whether that be someone’s body language, tone, or facial expression. For example, the other day, I was on a Zoom call with a leader for one of the sports teams I work with. The way he was acting on my zoom call, I didn’t think he was paying attention but was looking at the other screen because he had the video on the other screen. If I didn’t have emotional intelligence, something like that could set me off, and I may not communicate with him as well as I would have if I thought he was paying attention, and his actions could have caused me or someone else frustration or friction. As it turns out, by just trying to understand and take a deeper dive, we avoided something awkward that may have hurt our rapport.
Would you feel comfortable sharing a story or anecdote about how Emotional Intelligence has helped you in your life? We would love to hear about it.
One story that comes to mind happened when I was in a training session to get certified to become a customer service trainer. Everyone in the class was given several assignments over 72 hours for the weekend training. When I was done with my studies, I would get up, take a break for the bathroom, stretch my legs, etc. Finally, the head instructor named Earl Taylor pulled me aside, and he said to me, “Do you want to be here?” He told me I was not going to make a very good instructor, and I don’t think I will even pass you in this training.” I was so confused, I said, “What are you talking about? I am crushing up in front of the room?” He told me it’s more than just presenting in front of the room and crushing it; Lance, you don’t care about anybody else in the room. He said you aren’t paying attention to your fellow instructors, which tells me you don’t care about other people’s results. He told me that my actions, social intelligence (EQ) tell me different. I learned that it’s not just how you feel about stuff. It’s how you project and appear to others.
Can you share some specific examples of how Emotional Intelligence can help a person become more successful in the business world?
There was one time when I first got in leadership. The first time I ever realized emotional intelligence. This is an example of me not having it yet. I finally got promoted to become a leader. I finally was sitting in this long planning meeting; it was the first one I ever sat in. I had my head down, and I wasn’t writing anything down. My boss that had just promoted me, pulled me aside, and he asked, do you want to be here? Again, I asked him, “What do you mean?” He said, “You are not paying attention. You’re not writing anything down.” My response was, “That isn’t true, you don’t know me? I can tell you what everybody said at that meeting for the last two hours. I could regurgitate every word almost from photographic memory. The problem was that my emotional intelligence was so low. The problem was that I wasn’t being conscious of how I was appearing with other people. That self-awareness is emotional intelligence. My body language was saying, “I’m not interested, and I don’t want to be here, and I don’t care what you have to say,” when that wasn’t how I felt at all.
Can you share a few examples of how Emotional Intelligence can help people have better relationships?
Regardless of what kind of relationship you’re in, good emotional intelligence is critical because it is about understanding how somebody communicates. Some people are auditory learners; they need to hear things to understand. Some people are very kinesthetic; they are expressive with their language. Some people are very visually oriented. I think it can help your relationships to know that when you’re listening to somebody, you need to determine how they communicate before you jump in solving a problem or take action. Slowing down and learning these patterns of language and communication helps with a relationship.
Now, relationships are very dynamic. Another aspect of emotional intelligence is being aware of how much you withdraw from the relationship and how much you deposit into it. That balance is never the same. It is essential to be sure that the deposits in the relationship are more than the withdrawals. That’s key all the time. The last thing that helps is to recognize that relationships are eroding at all times, and good emotional intelligence tells you that you need to always pay attention to shoring it back up or rebuilding it because it’s still going to erode.
Can you share a few examples of how Emotional Intelligence can help people have more optimal mental health?
Mental health regarding emotional intelligence can relate to my COVID example. At that time, I was internalizing everything in terms of my health, and then I started to create these worst-case scenarios in my head. Many times, when you’re problem-solving while you’re stressed and worried, you’re going to revert to those worst-case scenarios instead of weighing out the law of averages. Sometimes when you talk to someone else, that can help because it can give you more perspective. It wasn’t until I had a conversation with a good friend of mine during COVID that I could see things more clearly. He said to me, “You’re in a bad headspace right now, so let’s go over some things. How many times have you been sick in your life? Because, Lance, what are the odds that you’re going to get it?”
This all goes back to our relationships and people skills because the communication and dynamic is such a big part of EQ. Sometimes your mind, from a mental health perspective, is like a bad neighborhood, and you don’t want to be alone in it. That is why people seek out counselors, clergy, support groups, or go into marriage counseling because that back-and-forth dynamic puts you in the right headspace. It shares odds, examples, metaphors, analogies; it gives hope, or states, places where there is no hope this is irreconcilable. Sometimes you need to need to hear that. That is the stuff that improves mental health with emotional intelligence because you need to have the self-awareness to know you need to go there.
Ok. Wonderful. Here is the main question of our interview. Can you recommend five things that anyone can do to develop a greater degree of Emotional Intelligence? Please share a story or example for each.
Sometimes knowing what we’re made of doesn’t reveal itself until we are faced with a challenge.
The best salespeople exhibit behavioral activity that matches those they are dealing with, that go out of their way to make that Human-to-Human connection. That means having high emotional intelligence, or EQ.
But EQ isn’t just one dimension, one aspect of your personality. It’s so much more than being nice, opening the door for others, letting your colleagues hit the buffet line first, making someone laugh until they shoot wine out of their nose, or refusing to take the last grape tomato from the salad bar.
EQ is siloed into five distinct categories and are as follows:
The ability to recognize an emotion as it “happens” is the key to your EQ. Developing self-awareness requires tuning in to your true feelings. If you evaluate your emotions, you can manage them. The significant elements of self-awareness are:
- Emotional Awareness — your ability to recognize your own emotions and their effects
- Self-confidence — sureness about your self-worth and capabilities
You often have little control over when you experience emotions. However, you can have some say in how long an emotion will last by using several techniques to alleviate negative emotions such as anger, anxiety, or depression. A few of these techniques include recasting a situation in a more positive light, taking a long walk, and meditation or prayer. Self-regulation involves:
- Self-control — managing disruptive impulses
- Trustworthiness — maintaining standards of honesty and integrity
- Conscientiousness — taking responsibility for your own performance
- Adaptability — handling change with flexibility
- Innovation — being open to new ideas
To motivate yourself for any achievement requires clear goals and a positive attitude. Although you may have a predisposition to either a positive or negative attitude, you can, with effort and practice, learn to think more positively. If you catch negative thoughts as they occur, you can reframe them in more favorable terms, helping you achieve your goals. Motivation is made up of:
- Achievement drive — your constant striving to improve or to meet a standard of excellence
- Commitment — aligning with the goals of the group or organization
- Initiative — readying yourself to act on opportunities
- Optimism — pursuing goals persistently despite obstacles and setbacks
The ability to recognize how people feel is vital to success in your life and career. The more skillful you are at discerning the feelings behind others’ signals, the better you can control the signals you send them. An empathetic person excels at:
- Service Orientation — anticipating, recognizing, and meeting clients’ needs
- Developing Others — sensing what others need to progress and bolstering their abilities
- Leveraging Diversity — cultivating opportunities through diverse people
- Political Awareness — reading a group’s emotional currents and power relationships
- Understanding Others — discerning the feelings behind the needs and wants of others.
The development of good interpersonal skills is tantamount to success in your life and career. In today’s always-connected world, everyone has immediate access to technical knowledge. Thus, “people skills” are even more important now because you must possess a high EQ to understand better, empathize, and negotiate with others in a global economy. Among the most useful skills are:
- Influence — wielding effective persuasion tactics
- Communication — sending clear messages
- Leadership — inspiring and guiding groups and people
- Change Catalyst — initiating or managing change
- Conflict Management — understanding, negotiating, and resolving disagreements.
- Building Bonds — nurturing instrumental relationships
- Collaboration and Cooperation — working with others toward shared goals
- Team Capabilities — creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals.
Raising your EQ to compete and close deals in a complex world is an effort you have to make. You must have that common denominator of results-driven grit for success. You have to persevere.
Do you think our educational system can do a better job at cultivating Emotional Intelligence? What specific recommendations would you make for schools to help students cultivate Emotional Intelligence?
I see the educational system having a tough time talking about controversial issues. I feel that they are not providing both sides of controversial topics, presenting things more one-sided. That doesn’t allow the individual to debate and decide how to come to grips with how they feel about that issue personally.
As parents and educators, I think we are too apt to provide more solutions to problems than we should. We tell kids, here’s the problem, and here is the answer, instead of allowing them to use their critical thinking and problem-solving skills. At times, you must deal with your stress and worry to develop emotional intelligence. People need to commit to their problem solving and deal with the consequences or implications of the problem-solving. I think schools need to do a better job with that. Because right now, you have even too many helicopter parents, and they’re trying to fix it for them.
I think it comes down to crucial problem-solving skills and being accountable for the decisions you make because most of most things that will teach emotional intelligence aren’t life or death. They are things where you commit to the solution, and you might or might not like the results, but you learned something.
Ok, we are nearly done. You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
As a founder of a training company, I highly value education and love to train young entrepreneurs in every aspect of creating and sustaining a profitable, successful business. I want to give the next generation of entrepreneurs and business owners a head start by teaching them the things that no one tells you when you’re first starting.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them 🙂
Without a doubt, Jon Taffer or Marcus Lemonis.
Jon’s attention to detail and his ability to resurrect struggling businesses is inspiring. Like Marcus, Jon is a fixer; he fixes things. I always tell people to watch Jon’s and Marcus’ shows to learn about business. In fact, we use Marcus’ people + process + product philosophy at Tyson Group.
I’d also love to meet Richard Branson and Arianna Huffington.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
To learn more about Tyson Group and how we can help your sales team hone a unique process to bring you consistent success, visit www.tysongroup.com.
You can get your copy of my new best-selling book, Igniting Sales EQ, by visiting https://geni.us/IgnitingSalesEQ.
Visit www.sellbettertoday.com to schedule a free sales assessment with a Tyson Group sales leader, and receive a custom interview guide (that will help you hire faster, with less turnover, and increase sales) as well as a free copy of my best-selling book, Selling Is an Away Game.
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Thank you for these really excellent insights, and we greatly appreciate the time you spent with this. We wish you continued success.