Maybe he bought you tickets to a concert and made you feel beautiful as you curled your hair, and wore your favourite denim dress. Just to smash open your phone and leave you alone on the street, all because he is not okay with the way a man looks at you. Maybe he would show you off like a trophy to all his friends, just to come back home and call you a desperate b***h with dirty curves.
Although, you did everything right, but he would never fail to victimise himself by saying how much he loves you and how he is so aware of all the dirty thoughts men hold towards women.
This happens only because he is not willing to put in efforts to right his wrongs, and often avoids to take responsibility in the first place.
It is high time we all realise that this is not something to be okay with.
This is abuse, and emotional abuse is way more damaging than any other form of abuse as it not only focuses on physical wounds but also embarks the soul.
To all those who have come this far, don’t be blinded by the perfection I execute, and the courage I fake, the innocence I feign and the confidence I wear.
For I am broken! As broken as any one of you reading this.
On average there are about 25 percent of women and 8 percent of men, who have been a victim of intimate assault. We can talk everyday about emotional abuse and yet fail to identify it in our close surroundings, even sometimes with our own selves.
Is it because we are so okay about it? Or because this is the way we define okay?
Years and years of conditioning and brainwashing by society has made us blind to identify the early signs of emotional abuse, to an extent where we fail to develop even a rudimentary understanding of our own self.
I still remember that morning, when I asked my mother the last thing she did in her life for her own happiness. It was 35 years ago when she did something of that sort. After her marriage it was all about her in-laws, her husband, and then her kids.
This is the way, the woman I love the most has spent half her lifetime.
Do not let this happen to you, that one day when you run down the memory lane, you fail to even identify the time you had an image of self, and believed in the concept of self-love.
It is not easy for a lot of you out there, but I believe that if you set your mind to something, nothing is impossible.
The first step to get out of the vicious cycle of emotional abuse is to identify that there is a problem. If you happen to feel wounded, misunderstood, confused, anxious, and frustrated most of the day, and is often battling to find a sense of self worth, then there are high chances that your relationship with your partner is emotionally abusive.
Once you are able to identify any aspect of emotional abuse, then you may begin by accepting the fact that it is happening in the first place.
Identification often leads to a step further, where you need to set personal boundaries for yourself and take a stand if/when necessary. Find a sense of return, and don’t let anybody fool you by minimising the importance of you.
If nothing seems to work and you still have to hide behind the fabricated lies projecting a perfect life and a smile to conceal the searing pain, acute shame, and sheer heartache, then run.
Yes! to all those people out there, get out of any such relationship and stop pacifying the storm brewing inside you!