Dr. Melanie Dean: “Gently and compassionately forgive yourself for things you said or did that you wish you had done differently”

Gently and compassionately forgive yourself for things you said or did that you wish you had done differently. Often when we refer to wellness, we assume that we are talking about physical wellbeing. But one can be physically very healthy but still be unwell, emotionally or mentally. What are the steps we can take to […]

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Gently and compassionately forgive yourself for things you said or did that you wish you had done differently.

Often when we refer to wellness, we assume that we are talking about physical wellbeing. But one can be physically very healthy but still be unwell, emotionally or mentally. What are the steps we can take to cultivate optimal wellness in all areas of our life; to develop Mental, Physical, Emotional, & Spiritual Wellbeing?

As a part of our series about “How We Can Do To Cultivate Our Mental, Physical, Emotional, & Spiritual Wellbeing”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Melanie Dean.

Dr. Dean is a psychologist with a background in science and business who has spent her career helping people achieve their own personal goals. After 15 years building a publishing company for psychologists and psychiatrists, Dr. Dean went on to sell the company for the exact amount of money she had been envisioning and meditating on. Her book The Hidden Power of Emotions: How to Activate Your Energy Field and Transform Your Life (Hay House). It is the culmination of 10 years of research in psychology, molecular physics, and quantum physics to discover why. What she uncovered is that there is a science-backed system for tapping your intuition’s power and using it to get what you want. She holds two patents on assessment systems that help physicians diagnose and treat chronic conditions. While on faculty at the University of Missouri, Kansas City, Dr. Dean taught a doctoral training clinic on Brief Solutions Focused Therapy. In addition to her education and research in science and psychology, Dr. Dean is dedicated to the study of spirituality and has learned directly from the Dalai Lama.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

I find it humorous that today I am so enthralled with science and wanting to know how things work in the world because in school I hated science courses. I thought I wasn’t smart enough for them and didn’t have any interest in them. All these years later I know now that both young assumptions about myself were false. I’m happy to be free from those old limiting beliefs and live fully into myself now.

What or who inspired you to pursue your career? We’d love to hear the story.

My current focus of helping people understand how their power works and using that power to get everything in life they want, started by happenstance nearly two decades ago when I was on family vacation in Hawaii and found a book on quantum physics that someone left on the beach. I was captivated with what I read about the unseen powerful energy that connects all of us.

I did not have an opportunity to pursue this interest of mine until many years later when I experienced this power at work in my life and wondered about the science behind it. I had grown a medical publishing company over many years and wanted to sell it so I could have more time with my young children. I held that intention in my mind during my quiet morning meditations. I also held the intention for how much money I wanted to receive for the business. I paid attention to my intuitive guidance about how best to proceed on this goal and suddenly, in a way I could not have predicted, the business sold for the exact amount of money I had been meditating upon. I wondered, what scientifically happened that brought me the exact thing I had been focusing upon?

With the financial abundance to choose how I wanted to spend my time, I chose to get answers to that question. I eagerly dove back into quantum physics, as well as, many other scientific readings to put the pieces together of how our personal power actually works in the energy field we all share. After 10 years of research, I found out that our emotional power of focus and clear intention are made of real pieces of energy matter that sync with similar other quantum waves of energy that bring us what we focus on. When our energy waves sync with similar other waves, they share encoded information and that communication comes back to us through our intuition, giving us the guidance we need on which opportunities will connect us with our desires.

None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Was there a particular person who you feel gave you the most help or encouragement to be who you are today? Can you share a story about that?

I have a very good friend and mentor who has encouraged me and challenged me through the years, Dr. Charlotte Shelton, author of Quantum Leaps. Charlotte has been steadfastly helpful and supportive of me spiritually and professionally. I recall one day in which I was particularly upset about hurtful divisions happening within my sibling family. She was aware of how hard I had worked over the years to keep my brothers and sisters in harmony together. She had her funny candid way of asking me why I thought I was in charge of all of them. That made me smile and helped me release the burden I had put upon myself of making everything turn out the way I thought it should. Not only do Charlotte and I share spiritual values that she helps me with, but she has been a huge support and help in guiding me toward completion of my book, The Hidden Power of Emotions.

Can you share the funniest or most interesting mistake that occurred to you in the course of your career? What lesson or take away did you learn from that?

I am a huge fan of my local baseball team, the Kansas City Royals, and I have my favorite players. Early in the process of really knowing how to work my power to get what I want in my life, I decided to test it out on seeing if I could get the signature of my favorite player on the team, Salvador Perez. There was a free autograph session being held in a huge conference facility over the span of eight hours without publication of which players would be signing at what time. I got quiet, calm and clear within myself and payed attention to my intuitive guidance about what time Salvy would be signing. My guidance was very specific about the time. When I arrived at the event swarmed with thousands of people and 8 different signing stations scattered across the large facility, I realized that I should have been more specific in asking my intuition for answers. I should have also asked for a vision of where he would be. As it is, he showed up signing autographs at the exact time my intuition said he would, but I was standing in the wrong line! Next time- I will be more specific with the intuitive guidance I want.

Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?

The Journey of Souls by Michael Newton continues to resonate with me ever since I read it for the first time decades ago. It put into words that which I feel to be true within me. That our souls are the embodiment of powerful hopes and intentions working in this shared energy field that binds us all together. The key take-away for me from that book is that we all have the ability to be powerful creators.

Can you share your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Why does that resonate with you so much?

My favorite life wisdom came from my youngest brother as he was dying from ALS disease. He was fully paralyzed and could not move anything on his body except his eyeballs. We communicated through him blinking when I correctly pointed at individual letters so that I could spell the words he wanted to convey to me. In the days before his death, I asked him his advice for me. He lettered “Enjoy the journey Mel!” I know that he meant two things — life is a journey not a destination and that it is short. Enjoy the fun of learning, growing and making life work.

What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?

I recently created The Wave Makers Podcast to fulfill my personal mission of helping people know how their power works and how to use it to create everything in life they desire. I believe that when someone understands how their emotions of clear vision and desire activate real energy waves that sync and communicate with other similar energy waves bringing them what they focus upon, they will feel hopeful, eager and empowered to create a happy prosperous life for themselves.

OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the core focus of our interview. In this interview series we’d like to discuss cultivating wellness habits in four areas of our lives, Mental wellness, Physical wellness, Emotional wellness, & Spiritual wellness. Let’s dive deeper into these together. Based on your research or experience, can you share with our readers three good habits that can lead to optimum mental wellness? Please share a story or example for each.

Mental wellness is about being clear on what you desire for yourself and going after it. Too often people zap their own mental power by focusing on what they want other people to do differently rather than using their mental powers to create what they want in their own life. To have great mental health:

  1. Stop the mental chatter of blaming or complaining about others. This gives your power away by focusing on what you wish others would do differently, which is outside of your control. Instead, if something is not going as you want it to in your life, shift your focus to what you desire. Allow the knowledge of what you don’t want to help you get clear about what you do want.
  2. For a few minutes every day, calmly and quietly play a movie in your mind of your life with this desire of yours fully realized. Feel the eagerness and hopefulness of this vision fulfilled.
  3. Pay attention to your inner hunches and nudges, your intuitive guidance, about what steps to take to make this desire a reality.

If for example, you have unexpected changes in your work and financial security you might be tempted to stay stuck in blame mode of what other people did or didn’t do that caused your situation. Catch yourself in this mental dialog and chatter and decide to shift your focus to what you desire for your future. Every morning see yourself financially secure paying your bills with ease. And, during this quiet time ask your wise intuitive self what decisions to make and actions to take that will make this happen. You have the power to be clear on what you want and receive the guidance of how to achieve it. Your power is in acknowledging your current circumstance, envisioning what you want for the future, and paying attention to your intuitive guidance for making good decisions on how to get there.

Do you have a specific type of meditation practice or Yoga practice that you have found helpful? We’d love to hear about it.

My meditation is very interactive with the energy field we all share. Each of us has the ability to be powerful by calmly and quietly interacting with this universal energy. During my meditation, I quiet my body and my mind. Then, I clearly envision what I am wanting for myself such as a new dream, a goal, a release of negative hindering feelings or clarity about a decision I need to make. With this desire clearly present, I then calmly quietly tune to my inner guidance, the real energy waves of my intuition that come from my energy waves syncing with similar energy waves in our shared field. This is my guidance for what solutions are best for me and what steps are helpful for me to take. I feel this guidance as a calm eager peaceful knowing within myself.

Thank you for that. Can you share three good habits that can lead to optimum physical wellness? Please share a story or example for each.

Optimal physical health is not just the result of healthy habits such as eating nutritious foods and exercising regularly but is also the result of calm, happy, hopeful, feelings. Research indicates that 80% of physical illnesses are caused by emotional stress. This is because the real energy waves of your emotions communicate to the cells in your body. If you are angry, worried or stressed, the cells receive communication that shifts their optimal functioning to stress functioning. Over time, this causes disease. So, optimal physical health is also optimal emotional health. Improve your happiness and your health with these 3 steps:

  1. Be aware of when you are feeling stressed, worried, angry, or anxious.
  2. Choose one thing that you can do that will help resolve what you are upset about.
  3. Do one thing today that makes you happy- brings a smile to your face.

Do you have any particular thoughts about healthy eating? We all know that it’s important to eat more vegetables, eat less sugar, etc. But while we know it intellectually, it’s often difficult to put it into practice and make it a part of our daily habits. In your opinion what are the main blockages that prevent us from taking the information that we all know, and integrating it into our lives?

One of the main reasons we don’t keep daily habits of eating healthy and exercising is because we don’t feel like it. Instead of hopeful eager feelings associated with healthy habits that bring us healthy bodies, we have begrudging feelings of what we think we ‘should’ do, not what we want to do. So, getting in touch with just one way in which you want to be healthier is a great way to start. For example, if you want to feel more energy- choose one healthy nutritious food to eat today. If you want to feel more flexible and less pain when you move, choose one stretching exercise to do today. Feel the hopefulness of doing one small thing a day that fits with your desire for yourself. Everyday do these 3 steps:

  1. Choose one part of your health that you would like to feel better about.
  2. Choose one thing you can do today that will be in keeping with that.
  3. Feel the happiness of doing your one small thing, throughout all the cells of your body.

Can you share three good habits that can lead to optimum emotional wellness? Please share a story or example for each.

Emotional wellness comes from knowing that you have what you need to navigate life successfully. And you do! Being happy and powerful in life comes from using your two greatest scientifically proven emotional powers — clear intention and calm intuition. Here’s how:

Intention is your power to be clear and purposeful in what you want. When you activate calm clear purposeful intentions, those emotion molecules create smooth evenly spaced waves of real energy that sync and communicate with other similar waves of energy both inside your body and outside your body.

Intuition is the guidance you receive when your energy waves of intention sync and share encoded information with similar other energy waves. You will feel the guidance of that communication through hunches, nudges, gut reactions, and calm inner knowing of what choices to make that will connect you with what you want.

I use these two primary emotional powers for everything I want in life like clarity and guidance on how I can be the most helpful parent to my struggling son. Or through my tears, one day when my dog was lost, I set a clear vision of finding him and suddenly felt strong inner intuitive nudges to go to one particular house in a very large neighborhood where he was.

Do you have any particular thoughts about the power of smiling to improve emotional wellness? We’d love to hear it.

Feeling a smile genuinely come to your face is one of the most powerful emotions you possess. Smiling comes from enjoyment and appreciation of someone of something in your life. Not only does it feel good it is also very powerful because feelings of gratitude automatically shift the real energy waves of your emotions into a smooth even pattern that can easily sync with similar other energy waves that communicate and connect you with more of the same. Not only do your smiles create powerful energy for yourself, but when you feel happy you increase the chances of happiness of people close to you by 34%.

Finally, can you share three good habits that can lead to optimum spiritual wellness? Please share a story or example for each.

Spiritual wellness is the happiness that comes from being your highest best self, one step at a time. Living a spiritual, meaningful, purposeful life emerges through the process of truth and compassion with yourself. Three cores steps for spiritual growth and happiness:

  1. Be clear on who you want to be, the vision you have of your highest self.
  2. Gently and compassionately forgive yourself for things you said or did that you wish you had done differently.
  3. Tap into your intuitive calm guidance for the understanding, compassion, and wisdom you need to take the next step for being your highest best self.

I experienced this spiritual transformation within myself recently when I was upset and angry with one of my sisters for accusations about me and our family that I felt were untrue and hurtful. I defended myself against her accusations by getting angry and telling her that what she was saying wasn’t true. It was an uncomfortable fight and I was not my highest best self. Later, in my quiet time I became clear on how I wanted to be different in the future. I wanted to be a person who could listen and be compassionate with my sister even when we have different feelings and viewpoints. As I quietly tuned into my inner intuitive wise self with this intention and vision in my mind, a memory came forward. Memories that my sister had suffered physical and emotional abuse from our parents that was far greater and different than what I experienced. This opened compassion within me and an understanding that my sister and I have different experiences that underlie our current feelings. My intuitive guidance also brought forth a vision within me of how I could be calmer and more compassionate in listening to her different views in the future.

Do you have any particular thoughts about how being “in nature” can help us to cultivate spiritual wellness?

For me, being in nature is a fast automatic way to calm my mind and body allowing me to create smooth even waves of powerful energy within me. When I quietly notice the trees, birds and sky my blood pressure lowers, my breathe deepens and I can more easily release the mental chatter of the day. Then, it is so much easier to be in touch with my calm inner wise spiritual self.

Ok, we are nearly done. You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

I want to create a movement in which people understand their emotional power of focus and intuitive guidance are real energy that can be used to create purpose, happiness and fulfillment. And, as they are creating meaning and happiness for themselves, they are automatically sending that into our shared energy field and improving the opportunities for others.

We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them 🙂

I would love to have time with Dr. Richard Davidson, Center for Healthy Minds at University of Wisconsin-Madison and author of The Emotional Life of Your Brain among other books. I would like to talk with Dr. Richardson about his research and how it dovetails with other scientific findings including the quantum power of emotions.

How can our readers further follow your work online?


Facebook: @powerfullifewisdom

Thank you for these really excellent insights, and we greatly appreciate the time you spent with this. We wish you continued success.

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