Stop being bitter. End the bitterness. Understand that the relationship wasn’t meant to be, don’t bash the other person especially if children are involved. Some relationships were meant to have an expiration date.
As part of my series about the “5 Things You Need To Know To Survive And Thrive After A Divorce Or Breakup”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Errol Gluck, Co-Founder of the exclusive matchmaking service Platinum Poire. Dr. Errol Gluck is a global, leading Executive Life Coach specializing in Neuroplasticity, or medical hypnosis. After completing his undergraduate studies in Psychology, he obtained an integrated doctorate in Anthropology and Theology. For nearly forty years, Dr. Gluck has grown businesses, coached respected and renowned individuals, and has traveled to over 200 countries in noble pursuits. Through his professional voyage, he has maintained a reputable rapport with companies such as Deloitte Touche, American Dental Association and CNBC, to name a few. Along with his sole proprietorship at Gluck Solutions, Dr. Gluck is an ongoing consultant for companies around the world. Furthermore, Dr. Gluck is the co-founder of yet another innovative undertaking, Platinum Poire; the nation’s first Power Matching company, created exclusively for society’s pinnacle professionals. Dr. Gluck has taken his thirty-five years of experience in profiling personalities to curate a seamless service for his peers, integrating his proficiency along with that of co-founder, Rori Sassoon, a renowned and deeply experienced relationship expert.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
My nickname is Doc and has been ever since I was a baby. My passion in life has always been finding solutions to problems that I was able to identify. It just stuck.
Can you explain to our readers why you are an authority about “divorce”?
I have been doing divorce mediation and marriage reconciliation for over 40 years. I have over 50,000 hours in this area of my career alone and have dedicated my life to helping people overcome the blockades that have been holding them back from achieving their goals and desires. I help those facing anxiety, depression, addiction, fear, low confidence and other life-debilitating problems in the wake of divorce. I believe this experience makes me an authority.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started this career?
I was sitting in a mediation session with a couple — both the wife and husband were attorneys. I have every couple spend four sessions looking at all of the reasons for their divorce or inability to move forward as a couple. In this particular session, the wife was going to sign the divorce papers and then she broke the pen in half. She said, “I’m worth ¾ of the problems here.” They are still together to this day.
If you had a close friend come to you for advice after a divorce, what are 5 things you would advise in order to survive and thrive after the divorce? Can you please give a story or example for each?
1. Stop being bitter. End the bitterness. Understand that the relationship wasn’t meant to be, don’t bash the other person especially if children are involved. Some relationships were meant to have an expiration date.
2. It’s your responsibility to create the rest of your life in happiness.
3. Keep your private life private.
4. No rebounds! Take time for introspection. Get in therapy now, it’s when you need it the most. Expose yourself to others by way of talking and having dinner without allowing a relationship for the next six months.
5. Reflect and see what other parts of your life you can develop.
6. The people who love you the most will always give you the worst advice. It’s all going to be biased and they may be reluctant to see things as they are when in fact, maybe it’s your fault. Find objectivity in those who know human nature and not just you.
What are the most common mistakes people make after they go through a divorce? What can be done to avoid that?
The most common mistake people make after they go through a divorce is rebound syndrome. They let people pick them because they are totally vulnerable and not taking the time for post-divorce coaching. Everyone puts effort in premarital or divorce coaching, but not many take time for post-divorce coaching. People need to take time to really understand who they are and who matches their primary identity. Couples could have significant secondary identities, and that’s great, but their primary identity has to fit hand in glove.
Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources related to this topic that you would recommend to our readers?
I recommend reading The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman and The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Marriage by Stephen R. Covey and Sandra Covey. I also recommend listening to relationship expert and Platinum Poire Co-Founder Rori Sassoon’s weekly Instagram stories where she answers followers’ questions and shares her expert advice on a variety of topics related to dating, divorce and marriage. When it comes to divorce, Rori has both lived it firsthand as well as coaches our clients through it regularly. She knows the daunting fear of navigating the dating waters again after being married for years. After feeling neglected and hurt by the entire divorce process, many people get beaten down and are too insecure to risk rejection any further. Rori has a strategic process that builds people up both internally and externally to get to back to being relationship-ready.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote” that helped you in this work? Can you share how that was relevant in your real life?
“To thine own self be true.” I am deepening my understanding of this philosophy, believing and acting in symphony with what is true to my life. Understanding that everyone I deal with has a different philosophy and a different perspective on reality. It’s my job to help them be true to their own philosophy and not for me to project my reality onto them.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
My Platinum Poire Co-Founder, Rori Sassoon, and I are working on a book called, “The Art of The Date,” soon to release in the New Year. It is a work that has been incubated, nurtured and is ready to give birth. It goes far beyond a simple “how-to” book. It dives into the building blocks of human connection and makes complicated problems simple. Colleges will pick this up as will courses and libraries. They will find it difficult to keep on their shelves!
Because of the position that you are in, you are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Listen to the people who disagree with you the most. The biggest idiot may have the most value. Just don’t listen to everyone who agrees with you.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
Oprah Winfrey. Not only do I think that this is relevant for her life, but for everyone that she could touch. I truly admire her and feel that she has a great influence on every race and culture in this country.
Thank you for these great insights and for the time you spent with this interview. We wish you only continued success!