Failure is a part of life. If you were to read up on some of the most prolific men in society to date you’d realize that even they have struggled with failure throughout their lives. Yet, somehow that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. The very idea that you weren’t good at something or let others who may have been relying on you down is devastating. It tugs at your pride and toys with your ego and unfortunately for some men, it cripples their ability to press on.
Of course, everyone would love to be the best at everything they set their minds to. Who wouldn’t love to win every ballgame, land every business pitch, keep constant smiles on their kid’s faces and maintain the perfect relationship with their spouses? Unfortunately, it just isn’t realistic. There will come a time when you will fall short on meeting your goals, fail at a task, or even let someone down. If you allow these instances to hold you back instead of driving you forward, it can have a nasty impact on your life. So, if you fall off the horse, use this advice to get back on it and try again.
It’s not uncommon for a person to feel so bad about their failures or become so anxious and fearful at the possibility of failure that they begin to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol. This may pacify you temporarily, but it can also lead to a host of health problems. In fact, abusing drugs and alcohol can hinder your ability to focus or perform to the best of your abilities, therefore, increasing your risk of messing up. If you’ve taken this route to try and cope, start by finding detox centers to help you get clean.
This may be a hard pill to swallow, but the only way to deal with failures or mistakes is to accept that you messed up. There’s nothing you can do to change what has happened and holding it in, harping on it, or denying it will only make things worse. So admit you made a mistake, realize this is normal, and move on from it.
Evaluate the Situation
You can’t go back in time and right your wrongs or do things differently, however, you can try to prevent the likelihood of those failures happening in the future. This starts by evaluating the situation to figure out what went wrong. Don’t just look at the bad, however, review the mistake as a whole. What was good or bad about it? What worked and what didn’t? What things were in your control that you could change? Are there any weaknesses that you can begin working on? This information can be used to help you create a better strategy going forward.
Change Your Train of Thought
After dealing with failures or mistakes your thoughts can become very negative. You start to feel inadequate, unsuccessful, and even hopeless. This type of thinking, however, can lead to depression and also hinder you from moving on to better days. As you feel your thoughts turning negative, change your train of thought. Start thinking about all the things you’re great at. Try to remember how you got great at those things as motivation for moving onward and upwards.
Set New Goals
No matter what you failed at you can always start fresh. Whether your marriage is on the brink of divorce, your teenager is feeling neglected, you messed up on your presentation in the office, or your startup failed to launch, you can try again. Set small goals and work at them daily. Take your wife out on dates, find fun ways to hang out with your teen, take a public speaking course for presentations at work or whatever you need to do to begin again. Knocking out small goals gives you a bit of motivation that inspires you to keep going until you succeed.
Everyone makes mistakes. Failure will always come before success. As difficult as it can be to deal with (especially for men) a setback or disappointment, it is not the end of the world. The best way to cope with a failure and move on with your life is to face the problem head-on, accept that it’s a fact of life, make a plan to reduce failure in the future, set goals, and get back on that horse. Before long your failures will be nothing more than great stories that you can use to help, entertain, and inspire others.
Previously published on Goodmenproject.com