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Don’t Enjoy Time With Yourself? This May Be Why.

With recent social distancing measures, does the thought of all this time alone leave you feeling anxious? You’re not alone. Did you know, a study in the journal Science showed that some people would rather give themselves electric shocks than be alone with their thoughts for just 15 minutes?! Why are we so uncomfortable with time to […]

With recent social distancing measures, does the thought of all this time alone leave you feeling anxious?

You’re not alone. Did you know, a study in the journal Science showed that some people would rather give themselves electric shocks than be alone with their thoughts for just 15 minutes?!

Why are we so uncomfortable with time to ourselves?

In those quiet moments, we can end up really noticing feelings we’d rather avoid.

But – you can be alone and happy or you can be alone and lonely. The idea of being alone is what you make of it. As always – it’s in your control!

Healthy, balanced living means we’re better equipped because we have resources to help guide us through the process – including a stronger sense of self-awareness.

Want to feel good about alone-time?

To feel differently needs a shift in thinking. It needs the time and attention of the thinking mind. It needs a conscious decision to override habitual thought patterns and make space for something better.

Think of our habits as autopilot – ticking away without much effort. Coming off autopilot takes a conscious effort. 

And what’s more, those habits & feelings form our beliefs – our reality – our inner story!

Feeling differently requires a decision. 

  • A decision to stop waiting and do something different today.
  • A decision to give this some attention. 
  • A decision that something’s got to give. 
  • A decision that you want to change more than stay the same. 

Without methods for untying our habitual knots, we’ll stay the same. 

We’ll stay living with the things we don’t like about ourselves.

This is where quick-fixes usually help. But they’re temporary, like taking a pill to numb an underlying issue. 

  • Music we love puts us in the moment, momentarily. 
  • A theme park ride gives us a quick hit of adrenaline. 
  • A sweet treat or a shopping spree gives us a surge of endorphins.
  • Likes on our social media posts give us a hit of dopamine. 
  • A new romance gives us a surge of oxytocin. 

And then we’re back to us, our minds & the day-to-day. 

It’s the time we spend in this normal existence where we get stuck. Back in autopilot. Back to feeling like something is missing. Back to feeling overwhelmed, and looking for a sense of relief by an external source. 

Simplicity’s rare in our culture

Our lives have become so full of distraction that the opposite can feel like an alien concept.

But with simplicity, we can untangle ourselves. How? By moving our attention onto what’s really going on inside us. For example:

  • Putting attention on our thinking mind through meditation.
  • Getting familiar with the body’s signals through yoga.
  • Re-learning to trust our intuition & ourselves through journaling and coaching.
  • Practising awareness & focus through guided meditations.
  • Noticing & questioning our thought patterns through journaling and coaching.
  • Using what we uncover to make an action plan to get to work on trying a new approach.

While it’s a tough time for all of us in the world right now, we can choose to utilise this alone-time in a smart way.

There are brilliant resources online to help with this stuff. Struggle to stick with them? Well, it can be hard to know where to start, depending on where you’re at in life. It can also be overwhelming to know which tool/guide/video/opinion to pick!

Do it your way. The way that is right for exactly where you’re at right now.

You could pick where to start based on what feels most useful for you, and enjoy the process of trying this stuff out. I spent a lot of years going to yoga classes which worked for me. From there I invested in counselling, coaching and personal growth trainings once I saw how good it felt to be reconnected to myself. They’ve been the best investments I’ve ever made – for my own wellbeing, my close relationships and contentment in daily life.

Want to finally love time with yourself, build self-awareness & start feeling content in the everyday?

Investing in inner development is just that – an investment that’ll repay you by giving you full power over your one precious life!

See how I can help at www.powerofwell.com

We all look to role models in life. It’s time to start becoming your own role model!

You’re made for so much more!

Please let us know in the comments if this resonates or if you have any insights. You never know when your thoughts could be just what someone else needs to hear.

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    People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

    - MARCUS AURELIUS

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