When we are born, we are pure. We are a raw diamond. Babies observe everything around them, as it is everything they are able to do in this stage of their life. They observe and absorb it all, all day long. This is the time when the diamond is slowly being cut. They, we, start to learn ‘how things are done in life’. We learn right and wrong. Or at least what the people we learn it from, perceive as right and wrong. What is right for one person, might be wrong for another person though. Once we really understand this, we understand the importance of questioning what we have learned and what we believe in.
We learn from the people around us, we grow up with certain beliefs and values that are not necessarily our own, but simply things we learned. As we grow up we are able to make our own decisions and create our own perspective of what is right and wrong. Did you ever questions if what you learned years ago, is still valid today? Is it in alignment with your innate truth or is it simply programmed in your mind? Is studying, working in a big company, climbing the career ladder, marrying, getting kids, retire and live happily ever after still what you want in life? Maybe you always wanted to become firefighter or a veterinarian as a little kid. It was the most important thing to you for years, did that change?
We start to question those things during the age puberty for the first time, in order to find our own way. But then we often stick with these beliefs for the next decades or even for the rest of our lives. Did anyone ever told you “This is how we always do, why should we change it?” – and you couldn’t believe that they weren’t open minded enough to understand that it is about time to finally change? But for them this is their truth, this is what they believe in, even if it might not serve them anymore because times did change. But everyone who is not consciously and regularly questioning their beliefs, has old beliefs that are not in alignment with their current life anymore.
When we never question our beliefs and the way we look at the world, we have a hard timing doing so, when we get forced to by outside circumstances.
Sticking to the same old things for too long and resisting to admit that they themselves might have been changed is the reason so many people are unhappy, even though they have the job they have been dreaming of, even though they earn the money they always wanted, and all the other things we once believed would fulfill our life. It is the reason why large, successful companies went bankrupt, who have been the pioneers of their industries for decades.
Our perspectives, that are not really our perspectives, can make us unhappy. When we don’t live our truth, we built our own prison.
What the most successful and influential people in this world and great philosophers have understood: Change is inevitable, and this includes the change of our beliefs and perspectives. Learning never stops. If we don’t want to be a victim to our surrounding but be the creator of our lives, we need to question our beliefs and the way we look at the world.
I myself, chased a dream I was convinced was my dream, my biggest one. Until I recognized it was not. It was something I saw other people admiring. I saw how other people chased the same dream and I knew that people who meant the world to me, would admire me for achieving those dreams. This was a hard pill to swallow. It confused me. I didn’t know what was right and wrong anymore. I didn’t know what I really wanted, what was me and what was someone else’s. I was not sure who I really was. I completely lost myself, in order to eventually find myself – my true self. I wish I had questions my believes earlier and at the same time I don’t want to miss this experience because it taught me the importance of being more mindful with the choices I make, the dreams I chase and always check in with myself to find out, if this is still what my heart tells me to do. Looking at my life from different angles, different perspectives is one of the most valuable practices I do on a regular basis. What do I want? Where do I want to go? How will it make me feel to get there?
I leave you with Steve Jobs’ words form his great commencement speech at Stanford University. A man who lived his truth, despite all the critics and people trying to fight his dreams. You might like him or not but his words are wise, and something I hope you follow before things have to fall apart in your life. You are the creator of your life. If things need to fall apart in order to be reorganized in a way that makes you happier, I wish that you are the person who breaks your beliefs apart, disrupts your own life, knowingly that it is the best for you. Follow your intuition, your heart, no matter what anyone else taught you before or will tell you. It is your life. Your responsibility. Your happiness. Your truth.
„Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.“ – Steve Jobs