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Q: “Allana, when dating a woman that you really like, should you wait to sleep with her and if so, do you risk being put in the friend zone?”
A: Okay, this is so great because what you’re identifying is that she really matters, she’s not short term entertainment, she’s long-term potential, have you told her that? Okay So if it’s just going on behaviors and there’s no contact, there’s no communication, there’s no authenticity, there is no vulnerability and you don’t sleep with her overtime she might think your friend material, she might think you’re a nice guy but you sure you don’t have any sexual energy, she’s going to go into all these conclusions because all she;s going on your behavior so I’d like you to consider that it’s not either or it’s sort of a combination of both adding in the elements of authentic true, authentic communication and really let her know that.
Okay feel her with your heart, feel where she scared, where she’s triumphant, where you know her essence of her soul is and penetrator with your sexual energy, she wants to feel that you want to claim her so that she can open up and feel safe, so all these energies need to be running at the same time or you’ll instantly be put in the friend zone. So it sounds like you have an attraction to her so still let that sexual energy be there and if you choose, and it’s a case by case by case choice of when to sleep with somebody, be at the woman’s choice, the man’s choice, the couples choice, that’s all in individual choice, I have no judgment one way or the other if you choose to wait longer than you would normally if you meant like a one night stand or a short term entertainment or what have you, for the reason that she’s important, special, potentially long-term.
So then speak it then say it as you guys are making out or you could say I am choosing to wait because you are special and I want to really give us the best chance possible and make no bones about it, I am attracted to you so you’re still there and your masculine grandeur and your sexual energy that is mixed with mobility thinking ahead on her and all of that communicated energetically and verbally is not going to put you in the friend zone whatsoever it’s just if you button your trap and say nothing she could get mixed signals.
So be that forthright, be that noble, be that bad ass, be that vulnerable and be yourself every step of the way. I look forward to hearing from you and thank you for your question
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Intimacy Expert Allana Pratt’s passionate devotion to her audience via her podcast, blog, and coaching sessions helps men and women reclaim their joy, freedom and personal power dating and in relationships.