Regardless of technology, what will never change is the importance of connection as a foundation for a thriving relationship – whether romantic or platonic. I can’t deeply and personally connect to a phone. Nothing beats being in the presence of someone who doesn’t judge you and is vulnerably authentic with you.
Here are some questions to see if you might be hiding behind technology and where to step up, show up and give your fullest self to a relationship and/or friendship… using technology to enhance yet never replace the real you:
1. Can you be authentic? (or do you hide behind an email?)
2. Can you listen without judging? (or do you jump to conclusions or posture yourself in defense?)
3. Can you tell the truth even when you risk rejection? (or do you withhold for fear of being left?)
4. Can you embrace challenges and not run away? (or when the fire gets hot do you exit?)
5. Can you share your deepest wishes without shame? (or do you never share your authentic dream, passions, goal?)
6. Can you forgive them and be in allowance of them without judgment even when it hurts? (or do you protect yourself by accusing and blaming them?)
7. Can you love your life enough not to make them responsible for your happiness? (or do you buy the illusion that they will complete you and put tons of pressure on them to be the main source of making you happy?)
8. Can you not blame them when you are feeling down, and instead of feeling safe in their presence and reveal your fears? (or do you withdraw or choose addictions to numb out your pain?)
These are the deep questions that you may not know the answers to… you may not know HOW to be confident, authentic, empowered or intimate with your deepest truth… yet I implore you… DO THE WORK to fall madly in love with YOU, warts and all (smile) and watch how your relationships soar.
To begin… answer these questions authentically. Then see if you can be with the answers without judging yourself for what you find. Then with compassion, knowing you’ve always done your best, can you ask what would it take to shift this? What needs to be healed or let go of? What’s in the way of embracing a more confident empowered you?
And if you end up with a huge desire for change and a willingness to do the work to change yet don’t exactly know how to do it… that’s where someone holding space comes in, someone who will guide you through the process, have your back so you can exhale in total non judgment and bathe in unconditional love. T
As you change, so will your life. As you step up, so will your life.
Great love, Allana
Intimacy Expert Allana Pratt’s passionate devotion to her audience via her podcast, blog, and coaching sessions helps men and women reclaim their joy, freedom and personal power dating and in relationships.