Although I love people and life itself, I don’t necessarily love the conditions and demands we create as a society. From the moment we’re born we hear so many opinions about who we should become. We‘re told to behave in a certain way, dress how others do, go to a specific school and then later on have a good job and get married. If we meet these aspirations then we can consider ourselves as successful.
Does anyone ask us if we’re truly happy?
As we’re getting older, we talk less about how this way of living makes us really feel. It can be perceived as an amazing achievement to be a senior manager at multinational company but does anyone speak about if it makes people happier and more fulfilled?
Does anyone admit that they’re getting married out fear of ending single when there is still time to change it?
The society creates tremendous pressure on us by telling us what we should want, do, be, and say. But hey! We’re the society.
Why do we agree with this way of living? The answer is fear.
We’re afraid to be different because we’d lose approval and love of others. This would make us feel wrong and like we don’t belong. Therefore, we rather disconnect from what we want so we fit into the society.
Maybe I’m wrong but I don’t think that the way our society functions works for everyone. I think that majority of us feel powerless, sad, depleted, resigned, or angry.
I’m guilty of bending to pressure of society. I’ve always loved Egyptology and quantum physics but I ended up having two master degrees in International Trade and Economics. I almost got married to a wrong person out of fear of hurting him and his family. Pretty stupid, right? I also got a traditional corporate job.
Luckily I couldn’t have quiet my inner voice telling me to run away from all this mess I co-created. In 2012 I run away to Southeast China where I found a shelter to re-evaluate all my thoughts. China was far enough from anything familiar. For the first time, I could think clearly for myself. Slowly I began to ask myself what I wanted and how I felt.
What I discovered was disturbing yet freeing. Back then I didn’t like my life at all. I felt as a victim of situations and people in my life. I’ve been always interested in why we’re here, how we can reach our potential, and why we live this unsatisfying way of living and pretending like it’s normal. I wanted to bring people closer to their inner truth and help them to create what they want.
Yet this required a long journey of self-discovery and reinventing my own life first. I touched many bottoms but after all I began to understand how we’re suppressed by the society and how to find inner freedom.
What we should want and what we want are two completely alien universes. There is a reason why we have this burning desire for more in life. We want to be happy and believe that we also deserve what we want.
This inner voice is correct yet so deeply burdened under all these well-meant advises and opinions.
Find your inner freedom
1. We’re all conditioned from the moment we’re born. We develop the same patterns as our parents have. Be it positive or negative. We’re trained to believe that it’s difficult to become rich, life is a struggle, true love doesn’t exist, or it’s more important what a parent think than what we really feel. There are endless little or bigger situations through which we begin to believe that something is or isn’t possible. Most of the times we aren’t aware of this conditioning as it becomes our first nature. Yet our true self is buried under.
2. Others don’t know what they want. Sometimes we don’t do what we want because we worry what would our spouse, family, or friends think. They might even advise us not to do something and they seem to know what is the best. Yet there is one problem — others don’t know everything. Other people tell you what to do from their perspective. They don’t stand in your shoes and their advises are based on their past successes, failures, hurts, and insecurities. It has nothing to do with you. Your life is only YOURS responsibility. Don’t let others decide about your happiness.
3. Everyone has a life’s purpose. There are no exceptions. Each of us has something unique to experience and create that has the power to inspire, heal, and uplift others. It doesn’t need to be anything big or just one thing. It’s only us who can find out what it is. The more we’re conditioned by society to believe what we should, the further we’re from discovering what our purpose is. The answer can only be found within. What makes you feel alive? What can’t you imagine live without? It’s our responsibility to bring our gifts forward as no one else can do it for us. Allow yourself to believe that there is more in life. Because there is.
I think that it’s time to be more rebellious and braver. It’s our life after all!
Originally published at medium.com