For many years I had a niggling feeling that I needed to be somewhere else — I just couldn’t work out where that was.
I felt frustrated and a bit dizzy trying to figure it out.
I knew that if only I could find out where I ‘belonged’ I’d feel happier, more complete, at peace and I’d be enjoying a vibrant circle of loving friends, and I’d never feel emotionally isolated again.
I’ve moved around a bit over the years, but never found the place I’d been searching for — and yet I still yearned for it. That Utopian place that would be the ‘cherry on top’ of the cake of my life.
According to Abraham Maslow (1/04/08–08/06/70) and his famous Hierarchy Of Needs our need for and inner sense of belonging is at the third of five escalating levels.
It comes after having satisfied our first basic physiological needs for shelter, food, sex, breathing, sleep, and having balance in our body systems.
It also comes after the second level of our need for physical safety and security, and to have sufficient financial resources.
However, our need for a sense of belonging comes before our need for self-esteem, confidence and with being in touch with the higher values and experiences of life and the spiritual realm.
We can access the higher levels of the Maslow ‘pyramid’ relating to self-actualisation and spirituality — but without having the preceding levels in place we will be on shaky ground.
So where IS our place of belonging and how do we get there?
I think I’ve finally realised the answer…it’s inside our own mind!
In life these days it seems that many people believe that they need lots of ‘things’ in place before they feel happy, and be where they belong. In fact no ‘thing’ works for very long.
We need to feel and accept that we belong right where we are at this moment.
Wherever we are we face the same challenges and opportunities. These are:-
How to find your own place of belonging:
You can stop searching for what you already have.
You belong with your inner child and they belong with you.
You belong in a happy state of mind — in spite of your outer environment — and you can create that state of contentment, happiness, gratitude and joy in each moment.
Maxine Harley (MSc Psychotherapy) — MIND HEALER & MENTOR
www.maxineharley.com — where you’ll find lots of FREE resources to help your inner child to heal and feel a sense of empowerment and belonging in the world.
You’ll also find help for recovering from a troubled childhood and toxic parents.
Originally published at lifelabs.psychologies.co.uk on December 28, 2015.
Originally published at medium.com