Take the pressure off yourself– We put unnecessary pressure on ourselves until things are complete because we do not want to fail. However, the pressure only builds stress. I used to put so much pressure on myself thinking things had to be done right away. I would answer my emails as soon as they would pop up in my inbox whether it was day or night. I felt like people needed me and I had to be there no matter what. This put a lot of pressure on myself and I wasn’t getting other tasks completed. I had to set aside time instead for simple tasks that were not a priority.
Many successful people are perfectionists. At the same time, they have the ability to say “Done is Better Than Perfect” and just complete and wrap up a project. What is the best way to overcome the stalling and procrastination that perfectionism causes? How does one overcome the fear of potential critique or the fear of not being successful? In this interview series, called How To Get Past Your Perfectionism And ‘Just Do It’, we are interviewing successful leaders who can share stories and lessons from their experience about “how to overcome the hesitation caused by perfectionism.
As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Dipal Shah.
Dipal Shah is an Internationally acclaimed Mindset and Transformation Expert, Global Speaker, and Spiritual Mentor celebrated by clients across the globe who refer to her as “The Body Whisperer.” As a recognized expert in the field of Energy Medicine, Dipal is the creator of the Quantum Body Awakening Technique. Her globally taught course empowers and teaches individuals how to become the master of their own health and wellbeing. Dipal has helped thousands in over 92 countries break free from chronic health problems in conjunction with or where western medicine has failed. Her mission is to help people live in the present and create a life worth living.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I lived in New Jersey for the first part of my life. My younger brother and I relied on one another during this time because our parents were busy trying to provide for us. Many things seemed imperfect then. I had many responsibilities as a child because my parents worked all the time, I raised my brother, cooked meals, and many weekends and summers worked at my dad’s convenience store to help him. I remember, I was 14 years old when my dad took a chance of making this massive shift in his career and decided to buy his own business in Kentucky. I remember feeling frustrated during my teen years but saw my mom and dad happy and less stressed for the first time. We were going on vacations and spending time together as a family. When I had my own kids, I realized what my parents did for our family. They taught my brother and I one important lesson in life, “Just Do It”. My parents took many chances in life, some were great and others not so great. They taught me to be open to life’s offerings and to trust the path without fear. I was able to pave my own journey to success through all the challenges and never gave up. I understood from their experiences that we will make choices and though it may not be easy or perfect we make our own journey. Today, I am a successful Indian Female Entrepreneur making a difference in people’s lives all over the world.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
One of my favorite quotes is “Life isn’t a problem to be resolved, it is a truth to be experienced.” This quotation is so important, so relevant, in my life. I have had many obstacles and challenges in my work, personal life, and health. I dealt with it by being my own personal problem-solver until I found mentors who could help me understand how to process and deal with my issues. I had allowed the outside world to come inside my world and create stress, anger, and frustration. At the age of 37, I began to see my life differently and realize how much of a purpose I had. I began to ask myself the tough questions — Who am I? What is my purpose? Where am I going? I knew I needed to answer them. I decided that I was going to start living my life day by day and whatever comes up it will be with a new perception in its own perfection. Life has many faces, and I had to decide how I wanted to react and experience these faces because they come with many truths that make us realize how imperfect and unconscious we are. When we can experience life at its utmost rather than through the mirror of judgment, criticisms, and fear, we will be able to experience the truth about who we are, our purpose, and acceptance of everything around us in its own perfection.
Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
I enjoy reading books on self-improvement, spirituality, and self-realization. The book that made a significant impact on me was The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. If you have read this book and think it was just a great adventure you missed the point. This book shares nine key insights of life bringing to the surface spirituality on Earth. It shares how life is like a puzzle with many pieces to it but in the end they all fit together. Throughout the book, the author shares the profound secret of life that many still feel is woo-woo. He shares the secret that “Everything is ENERGY.” We are not this body, we are not this mind, we are all made up of energy and vibrate with our own tune through life experiencing life how we want to and what we can create if we believe we are all connected as ONE. When I read this book, it reminded me how I can choose to be in sync with “all that is” and create the reality I want for myself. It is a must-read for anyone trying to find their way to something greater than themselves.
You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
There are three character traits that were most instrumental to my success as an entrepreneur. The first is ambition. Ever since my high school and college days, I wanted to succeed in life because I saw my parents struggle. I wanted to achieve something big, I didn’t know what it was, but I would take on any opportunity that came my way even if I had to learn something new. That is how I created my own business. It was a huge learning curve trying to create my website from scratch when I never used the computer except for a word document. I just knew it had to get done and I could not let inexperience stand in my way.
The second character trait that I find to be important is to stop reasoning. What I mean by that is to accept whatever obstacles and challenges without judgment, blame, and criticism. Too often we keep reasoning why certain things do not go the way we want. I did that for an awfully long time and realized that there is a Divine reason why life plays out a certain way. For example, when I had my first child, I ended up delivering nine weeks early. No one knows why I went into labor so early, but I was on a business trip and went into labor in the middle of the night. I had to have an emergency c-section, was drugged up, and not sure if my baby had survived when I woke up. Every time someone would ask me why that happened, I just say, “Does it matter?” My daughter is now 17 years old and healthy. When you stop reasoning, you move forward rather than moving backward into the past.
Lastly, a character trait I find most important is resilience. It is so easy to give up. I never gave up no matter how many times I heard “no.” I will never forget trying to get my career started in the pharmaceutical industry. I wanted to be a representative so badly that it became a full-time job getting my foot in the door. I went through hundreds of interviews, stood at the doors of doctor’s offices and hospitals, made folders of managers and drug reps that were helping me, and spent an inordinate amount of time on the phone. I was relentless and restless and would not give up no matter how many times I was shut down. I wanted to prove to myself that I can do anything if I put my mind to it. After a year of incredibly hard work, I finally landed my dream career. There are so many times when it seems like the best thing to do is quit, but there is always an inner strength that can keep you going no matter what.
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s begin with a definition of terms so that each of us and our readers are on the same page. What exactly is a perfectionist? Can you explain?
Perfectionist means that you are a high achiever with high goals in all aspects of life. It should be viewed as a positive trait rather than a flaw. However, I have found that through my flaws I find the perfectionist within me. We are never taught as children what being a perfectionist means and that you do not have to be perfect all the time. Instead, we are shown what perfect looks like through our parents’ eyes and as adults, we carry their traits which can work for us as well as against us.
The premise of this interview series is making the assumption that being a perfectionist is not a positive thing. But presumably, seeking perfection can’t be entirely bad. What are the positive aspects of being a perfectionist? Can you give a story or example to explain what you mean?
I understand that perfectionism isn’t always looked at in a good way but there are a few positive aspects of being a perfectionist which helped me grow my business exponentially as a Mindset and Health Transformation Expert and International Speaker. A few positive aspects of being a perfectionist is that you have a goal, high standards, polished results, and great at catching errors.
When I first started my business, there was so much that happened behind the scenes. I did not know what I was doing, I just knew it had to be done. I made so many mistakes spending hours on the phone with customer service as I was setting up a functioning business within two months of launching. From setting up a website, calendar, payment options, and hundreds of services and products, I had to do it all myself because I did not have any money as a start-up. I needed to make sure it was done right so that clients can find what they need. At times I was overwhelmed and had to spend a lot of time polishing so that all the parts were in sync. What I learned over the years is that your perfectionism can change as your business changes — what is perfect now may not be perfect later and that is OK.
What are the negative aspects of being a perfectionist? Can you give a story or example to explain what you mean?
Most people think that being a perfectionist is a good quality to have. However, there are negative aspects of being a perfectionist in the sense that it affects the person mentally and physically and creates a deep sense of fear and for some depression.
I remember when I created my YouTube Channel, Dipal Shah. I would go record on zoom and then create the YouTube video. Every time I said something in a way I did not like, the dog barked, or my lipstick looked funny I would literally start over completely. This was stressful and time-consuming. I learned that I could get over it and now I can edit the parts I need to.
From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common reasons that cause a perfectionist to “get stuck” and not move forward? Can you explain?
Perfectionists tend to be confident and smart. However, they can get “stuck” and cannot move forward. A perfectionist can get in their own way, they lose control of a situation, put too much pressure on themselves, and/or overthink. When this happens, a perfectionist can freeze, unable to move.
I remember times, when I had to give work to my assistant, or the web developer and things would not go the way they are supposed to. One time I was trying to switch my domain server to another server. My entire website was gone, and I could not find my domain anywhere. I was panicking and kept emailing and calling the web developer. I blamed myself for what was happening and did not sleep that night. The next day my website was up and running and everything was fine. I realized that when I do not have control over something, I will go into panic and anxiety mode. This sense of perfectionism has hurt me in the past because I did not understand the process and nor did I keep patience. Instead, I tried to fix it myself and it made things hectic not only for me but others who were trying to help me. I learned over the years to let go of the control and watch the magic happen.
Here is the central question of our discussion. What are the five things a perfectionist needs to know to get past their perfectionism and “just do it?” Please share a story or example for each.
- Self-Care– Self-care is so important. What I have found to help me the most is utilizing some calming exercises first thing in the morning such as meditation, breathing exercises, and yoga. Self-care techniques and tools are so important in order for our business to function smoothly. In the end it all depends on us.
- Don’t think too much– Many of us overthink the process and the outcome which can set in unnecessary fears. The fears can make you indecisive, leading you to believe you are not good enough. Instead breathe and just go with it, knowing that you do not need to be perfect. You are learning and always will be a student of life, so it is just better to “just do it.”
- Learn to let go of control– This is something that is so difficult for a perfectionist. Recognize what you can do to make your life easy rather than hard. Once I hired knowledgeable people and taught them how my business works and the goals of what I want to achieve, I was able to let go of the control. This gave me peace of mind knowing that everything is being handled and that I do not need to babysit.
- Take the pressure off yourself– We put unnecessary pressure on ourselves until things are complete because we do not want to fail. However, the pressure only builds stress. I used to put so much pressure on myself thinking things had to be done right away. I would answer my emails as soon as they would pop up in my inbox whether it was day or night. I felt like people needed me and I had to be there no matter what. This put a lot of pressure on myself and I wasn’t getting other tasks completed. I had to set aside time instead for simple tasks that were not a priority.
- Alter your self-talk– What I have found is that perfectionists create negative self-talk within their chatty minds. It is important to alter the negative self-talk with positive self-talk. When we create positive self-talk we feel motivated, focused, and excited which will help us get where we want to be quicker.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
The first thing that comes to mind for me is the Power of Voice movement. So many children are neglected, abandoned, sexually assaulted, abused, and bullied. This has a huge impact on how they lead their lives as adults and what kind of leaders they will become. The impact of childhood trauma and not being heard is detrimental to one’s health, recovery, and growth. Over 90% of my clients express their feelings of not being heard and how that has impacted their life.
Children are our future. This is a movement to help improve the lives of children and their families through education and the importance of voice.
Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!
The person that I would love to have lunch with is Sadguru. He is my guru who has taught me how to live life every moment and feel ALIVE through Inner Engineering. Without Inner Engineering I would not be where I am today. Thank you, Sadhguru.
How can our readers follow you online?
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Quantumbodyawakening
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/spiritawakenings/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dipal-shah-7481a5129/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGQdx82A98EpoLTgzoEc3Lw
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!