There was a phase during the COVID-19 lock down where I thought that I would lose myself to insanity. My life had always revolved around interactions with people and doing things with/for the ones I loved. Staying at home and not being able to see them, felt like my legs were cut out from under me. My purpose in life suddenly vanished into thin air. I felt love brimming up in me, but had no one to shower it on. No one would give me the attention I wanted either. Why did I always have to be the one to love others? Why did I not receive anything in return? Is my definition of love flawed? Am I not worthy of anyone’s love? These questions daunted me every night while warm tears welled up in my eyes. I slowly withdrew from interactions within the house and tried to connect with friends I had not spoken to, for years together, randomly. I knew I was desperate for love but would just convince myself that I was trying to stay “occupied”. I would scroll through Instagram posts, only to feel disgusted about the way I looked. I could feel myself falling into a wormhole, yet, gave myself in to the helplessness- I gave up.
No, I didn’t attempt to die. But God has His ways of reviving people from the vortex of dismay. He revived me through this one quote in the image below. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I shook myself vehemently, pulled myself up and decided to take action to escape the wormhole. I began reading a lot about self love and came across really relatable pieces about loving oneself that I thought would be nice to share with you all.
Here goes my points of learning:
- This too Shall Pass – Lord Krishna in Hindu scriptures says, “This too shall pass” to indicate that whatever we face now, happiness or difficulties, will recede with the passage of time. Dayna M (Inconceivable-PainToPower) gives a beautiful explanation of the same quote in her article, Self Love – We overcome situations in one out of two ways: The outcome would either be what was hoped for, or what you feared it would be. Looking back, we must applaud ourselves for making it to where we are because every decision we’ve made so far has brought us to where we are.
- Give up the Need for External Validation – Wendell Miracle says in article, Self-Love is the Best Kind of Love – “Do not place your self worth in other people’s hands. Respect yourself and love yourself. The world will eventually love you. Look to God for validation. No one else’s is important. Love your ethnicity. Love your physical features. Learn to say “NO” and prioritise yourself.”
- Associate yourself with the right people – Loving yourself involves discipline. Set a routine for yourself and keep at it. Make sure you understand if the people you interact with, make your life better or unproductive. Also, if you are not helping someone’s life get better, you are wasting their time and yours (Jessica Corvo –Self-discipline is Self-love)
- Cut yourself some slack – This is something I learnt from my own experience. We often tend to be so hard on ourselves that we forget that we need a breather too. We see so many people say that if we came out of this quarantine without a new hobby or interest, we would have just wasted time. Let people say their opinion. That does not make it your Bible. You are answerable to no one, but yourself. When you put your mind to something you will achieve it, no matter what. Let that motivation come from within you, and there’s no going back after…
I began writing because I felt that putting my emotions in words was rather freeing. I realized that just focusing on what I loved doing, even if it was just writing a diary, was a method of self love. What are the different things you all do to love yourselves? Please comment below and I would like to try too! 🙂