Detachment as an adult has been one of the most complicated dilemmas I’ve found myself intertwined in. Whether it be with family, friends, experiences or even material items.
I wholeheartedly believe that our beliefs shape our attachments. If you believe that something, whether it be a person or a tangible item, is the source of who you are then you will hold it in high esteem. On the flip side, those things that are the opposite are usually what we discard first.
When it comes to family, we usually don’t see our loved ones the way the outer world does and often times end up destroying the very people sent to us to be a gift. While they bless the world, we’re the ones who tend to rip them apart. I haven’t understood this yet.
“Attachment is the source of all suffering.” -Buddha
Maybe it’s because of our attachments to who we think they are or who we think they aren’t. We all want to be that great family member who made it or is the star. This applies to friendships, as well. Buddha once said that “Attachment is the source of all suffering.” which supports my beliefs in that so many people have so much strife in their lives.
In reality, we can all be great. We just have to be prepared to release our beliefs and share the spotlight. It’s one of the most difficult things you’ll ever have to do in your personal life but it’s worth it.
“The less attached you are, the more peaceful you are.” -Anonymous
While looking up quotes for this piece, I came across an anonymous quote that says “The less attached you are, the more peaceful you are.” and it couldn’t have been any truer. Once you make the decision to let go of your thoughts and beliefs about certain things the freer you become. Let me not forget to mention, you become more peaceful too.
We are all given free will and unless someone is your spouse or child, then the only person you have control over is yourself. Unfortunately, sometimes you may not be able to even control them. In a lot of situations you are given influence over people but not control. I think that’s where we are all deceived.
Detaching from people or even personal items can be hard. I myself have tried to implement a minimalist lifestyle but I couldn’t. I do, however, like to donate or get rid of an item when I bring something new in. I can’t just get rid of things that I’ve worked so hard for and I think the same goes for some relationships.
People are not going to always be the same version of who you think they are all the time. Sometimes you’ll want to revert back to making them be who you thought they were but you can’t. It’s not fair nor is it healthy.
Everyone is allowed to evolve and in this world, you must also allow room for advancements in technology and apparel. If your arms are full with yesterday’s drama/trash or worn out shoes, how are you making room for anything new? It may feel like ripping a bandage or scab off of a fresh wound but that’s when the real healing begins.
*Please note, this article is available on Medium.