Thrive on Campus//

Deciphering Sexuality in College

Whether you are straight, gay, bisexual, or even transgender, navigating sexuality in college is going to be amongst your biggest challenges.

Welcome to our new section, Thrive on Campus, devoted to covering the urgent issue of mental health among college and university students from all angles. If you are a college student, we invite you to apply to be an Editor-at-Large, or to simply contribute (please tag your pieces ThriveOnCampus.) We welcome faculty, clinicians, and graduates to contribute as well. Read more here.

If you have read or watched any sorority/frat movie, you would be left thinking that understanding one’s sexuality in college is a literal minefield.

With all the fuss about experimenting with members of the same sex, you could be forgiven for believing everybody is campus has to go through a short gay phase before being deemed worthy of graduation.

Unfortunately, if this seemed like an exciting proposition to you, I am here to burst your bubble.

For guys, nothing really changes between high school and college; except for the fact that you actually develop some decent game along the way. You will not walk into a male hostel and start fantasizing about making out with your roommate. If you do, then it is safe to say you can come out as gay. Other than that, everything is pretty much the same.

However, girls have it a bit harder in this department.

In the modern day world, lesbians are the epitome of the male imagination. Tell a guy to picture two women making out and a big smile will spread across his face, but, ask the same guy to imagine two men kissing and you might as well just ask him to fight.

As a result of this, girls coming into college are curious about what same-sex encounters really feel like. Add on the fact that their fellow girls are the only ones who can give them the amount of attention they crave and all climaxes in some slight experimentation.

This does not mean that all girls are closet lesbians. On the contrary, it is actually a healthy phase that they should all go through so as to be more in tune with their sexuality in college.

Having a Unique Sexual Orientation Is Not a Crime

Although I am not the biggest supporter of gays and bisexuals, I, together with most college students, understand the complex nature of human sexuality.

Many people try to defend individuals with different sexual orientations by blurting out that they cannot help how they were born; in my opinion, this is the most ignorant statement of the modern era.

Sexual preference is not a permanent condition that someone is born with. Instead, it is a choice one makes after evaluating their options. Don’t you think all the gays and bisexuals attempted to conform to what society deemed normal? I can assure you they did but it just did not work for them hence their decision to alter their respective orientations.

Thankfully, despite all the diverse opinions students have, sexuality in college is considered a personal choice and nobody will demean or bully you for it.

On top of that, there are even clubs and societies for people of a particular sexual orientation thereby allowing you to mingle with people of a similar mindset.

Do Not Try To Enforce Your Sexuality in College

In as much as students are willing to accept people with different sexual orientations, do not try to shove your ideals down everybody’s throat.

Although most gays and bisexuals are actually pretty decent people, there is a small percentage of them who believe having a unique sexual orientation requires them to constantly have their guard up.

Just looking at him/her the wrong way results in an earful where they ensure you know their sexual preferences and why they allow him to behave as he/she does.

On top of that, some go as far as judging others for their life choices all in the name of promoting their alternative lifestyles.

If you are one of these people, leave these habits at home as you head to school because attempting to enforce your sexuality in college is not going to win you over any new friends.

Experimentation is Your Choice To Make

The fact that most girls experiment with their sexuality in college should not be the reason behind your forays into lesbianism.

Everybody in your sorority may decide to experiment but if your mind is not up for it, keep away because, for some people, this could be the start of nymphomania and others psychological conditions.

In reality, experimentation is no different from a regular heterosexual relationship.

You find a friend; someone who you could share all your deepest, darkest secrets with. Just as you would have affection for a man, you develop slight feelings for this person. After that, nature tends to play its course.

However, if you are trying to experiment so as to fit in with a certain group of people, more often than not, you will end up exposing your vulnerability to the wrong person and this could scar your conscience for a very long time.

Sexuality in College is a Massive Developmental Hurdle

Whether you are straight, gay, bisexual, or even transgender, navigating sexuality in college is going to be amongst your biggest challenges.

College may seem like one massive party filled with one night stands, but, the emotional toll this takes on you is quite considerable.

Everybody is heartless until they expose their vulnerability and it will not be long until you are trapped trying to work out a way to make your boyfriend/girlfriend/transgender partner to stick around for the long haul.

Hopefully, like me, you will just get it along the way but trust me when I say, you have to put in the time to reap the rewards because isn’t that what love really is; two people working constantly to ensure they do not hate each other.

Originally published on Rowdy Student

Subscribe here for all the latest news on how you can keep Thriving.

More on Mental Health on Campus:

What Campus Mental Health Centers Are Doing to Keep Up With Student Need

If You’re a Student Who’s Struggling With Mental Health, These 7 Tips Will Help

The Hidden Stress of RAs in the Student Mental Health Crisis

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Photo by Maddie Howard
Thrive on Campus//

5 Feminist Books for Valentine’s Day Skeptics

by Maddie Howard
Thrive on Campus//

Life to Live

by Olivia Greeley
Photo Credit: PM Images/Getty Images
Thrive on Campus//

What Parents Need to Know About the Stress College Kids Are Under

by B. Janet Hibbs

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.