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Dear Friendship…We need to talk… About us.

A heart to heart talk with 'Friendship'

Photo by Hian Oliveira on Unsplash

Yes about us…
Because… you and me… We have a complicated relationship.
And let me tell you something, it hurts. 

It hurts when you come into my life and then leave all of a sudden. It hurts when I witness someone flaunting their lifelong friendships but I have no one to show off.
Whose fault is it? Mine or the friends who come into my life? Maybe it’s my fault, maybe not. 

You see, Friendship, the truth is, I never felt the connection with you. Cause, growing up, I never had you around for a long time. I never got a chance to know you, understand you, to learn how to take care of you.
Don’t believe me?
Let’s rewind a little, shall we?
I was 6 at that time. I had a friend. Although back then the term BFF wasn’t so popular,(at least I wasn’t aware of it), but still I would say that I considered her my BFF. She was my classmate and my neighbor. We used to spend heaps of time together. We played with each other all the time. We were inseparable. But then, her dad got transferred to another town. I remember how much both of us had cried the day when she was leaving. We promised each other that we’ll still be best friends no matter where we lived.

20 years later we got in touch once again. Thanks to Facebook. We were ecstatic to see each other after such a long time. We had so much to catch up on!! However, by then, we were living on different continents. Lots had happened in those 20 years, and even though both of us were genuinely happy to get in touch with each other, the truth was, we were not friends anymore. We claimed we were. But in reality, we were just acquaintances. We hardly knew anything about one another and neither of us had the time or emotional drive to find out more. 

I met her last year.
9 years after being Facebook friends.

It was so good to see her. ..We connected so much… While saying our goodbyes we hugged tight and expressed the joy that nothing had changed between us. But deep inside both of us knew it had. Both of us knew that things would never be the same as they were back when we were 6. And both of us were okay with it.
Dear Friendship, the story that I just told you isn’t a sob story at all. In fact, it’s just one of the examples that prove why you never played a significant role in my life. Throughout my childhood, I kept moving houses. Moving cities, states. It was difficult for me to keep you in my life for long. It was tough to maintain you when I and my friend lived miles apart.
But then again. I still coped.
It wasn’t that I was lonely. You were always a part of my life wherever I went. But I was never able to truly understand you. Later, you came into my life in the form of people who hurt me, people who drifted away from me, even some people whom I hurt, either knowingly or unknowingly.
Sometimes you ended with tears and other times you just faded away.
I know you are still around me. You are there in the form of people who make me laugh, people with whom I love spending time, who are there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on, who will come running for me, even in the middle of the night, if I ever need them. You are there and I am grateful for that.
But honestly, dear Friendship,  why do I still feel that I haven’t completely understood you?
It’s not that I don’t believe in you. I do. I really do.
But I still don’t believe the larger than life definition of you. I believe that you take time to evolve. Just like any other relationship, I believe you need work. And you know what, I am ready to put in that work.
Cause it might not have happened when I was 6, but when I am in my 60s I would love to flaunt a friend as my ‘BFF’. I would love to flaunt you.
The real you.

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