Community//

Dating today aka. Playing games

I enjoy having conversations about dating, because honestly it takes a good amount of courage to go on one. Why is that? Well, we all play classic games.

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Have you ever dressed up and showed up on a date, everything went fine, but days after it all ended up in a disaster? It’s actually very common in today’s society. I’ve been through a few dates and I can say: it used to eat me alive. 

First dates are magical, mostly. I adore the before-date-process too. Putting on makeup, taking my favorite dress out of the wardrobe, dancing around in my perfume while listening to feminine playlists on Spotify. Can’t wait to go on a date again. If you ask me out, keep in mind that I do all of these.

The date was amazing, it looks like you’re getting along well, butterflies fly in your stomach. However, your wonderful date partner disappears, ignores you and just doesn’t give a damn. It’s not surprising that you’re confused.  Before you start blaming yourself, stop for a second and think again. You were getting prepared for hours, you were constantly smiling and flirting on your date. Your partner even laughed at your jokes. Yay, congratulations! So, what went wrong?

It’s all about games. Men do it, women do it. Sometimes without realizing it. Let me save you from wasting your time on these kind of people. Bring some snacks and a glass of wine while reading, because here are all the games I’ve seen from my dates. 

  1. Delayed responses to texts
    – They know exactly that it messes up your mind. You answer immediately – which is a huge mistake –, but they don’t. Sometimes it even takes for them one or two days to write you back, despite the fact that they are obviously not busy. Some leave you on read, ouch! What can you do? My advice is to continue your life like nothing happened, trust me, the right one won’t miss a chance to stay in touch with you. 
  2. Lovebombing
    – My favorite. This is the “Future Together Forever” package. You would assume it’s cute if a person adores you, wants to marry you and already knows what your dog’s name is going to be. He says the “L” word early in the beginning. One day you’re single, next day you’re planning a house interior with a stranger. I will bust the bubble: it’s part of their manipulation to get closer, so they will be able to take the power over you. Unfortunately, you’re not in a Ryan Gosling movie.
  3. Hot and Cold
    – Has someone ever showered you with attention, then stopped caring for a bit and started to get your full awareness back again? I’ve been there and oh lord it took me way too long to realize: they play mind games, so I will never get bored of them. But they will get bored, eventually. It’s not fair, but you can change it for your advantage. You are not born to be needy, so don’t beg for their time, it paints you as a fool. Guess what?  As soon as you stop communicating them… they come back.
  4. Making you jealous (on purpose)
    – Social media comes forward as a weapon for this one. No, I’m not talking about sharing badass quotes about your independent attitude. I did that though. Public flirting, that’s the real deal. As you scroll through their platforms online, you may see some interesting things, for example flirting or posting a story with someone of whom you’ve never heard before. You may find them on Tinder as well. I know, it breaks hearts. If it hurts your feelings, please just block, delete, don’t stalk them. 
  5. Too flirty
    – My friends know that I’m in love with Latin music, so I tend to fall for macho men as well. They are exciting, gorgeous and give fire compliments. But watch out, this roller coaster can be dangerous. It seems fun to talk about Fifty Shades of Grey all the time, but it shouts as a big red flag if your conversations always end up in the R-rated topic. This person is good for display, but not for a serious relationship.
  6. Never texts first
    – You may click right away together, he’s funny and amazing… and he never texts first. It’s annoying. What can you do? Should you ask him if everything’s fine? No, a big NO. Don’t chase him, don’t be available for him at least 24 hours. He will realize you live your life easily without him and it will definitely boost his drive to hustle you down again.

I’m hundred percent sure there are other mind games as well in the dating field, these are the ones that happened to me personally. I learned from them, I’m still experimenting what I should do differently, but hey: we all make mistakes.

Also, thank you dear men from my past, you gave me inspiration to write this article.
And, my dears, that’s the tea.

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