Love, romance, companionship, intimacy and desire dominate our thinking especially during those days of spring awakening. It is a rebirth of nature and our bodies long to be part of a union, a partnership, a human connection.
The birds and beasts are all mating during the spring time, a natural and biological phenomenon that we as humans also need for survival. The basic needs food, water, air, sleep, exercise and many would say a mate are all inherent components necessary for sustainability and happiness.
When searching for that perfect match to fill the void in our lives we open up vital intense feelings that may have been missing during those more dormant days of winter.
During these months the hibernation affect takes hold and we are mostly hidden away in our solitary worlds.
During the latent fall when the weather shifts so does the hormonal shifts within our biology. There is a chill in the air and the bodies response is to shelter us from the upcoming days of winter.
The warm sunny days of summer create the already established connection with a partner to a new and in depth level. That spring-time love in bloom that began as a passionate connection can now move towards a more compassionate one.
Biology dictates how genders are wired. Men seek pretty faces, sweet tastes and pleasurable smells. Pheromones enter into play and it seems that spring time floods men and women with these tantalizing hormones. These endorphins make men feel powerful yet compassionate, focused and disciplined. He is the “hero” protector, serving the needs of others.
We are attracted to those who encourage our instinctual drive to be significant. This instinctual reaction influences one’s emotional response to social interaction. This helps each of us to channel, challenge and create those desires, increasing the probability of making a relationship strong.
At our core essence we are wanting to “feel something”. Women are instinctually drawn to deep feelings and emotional connectedness. This depth of emotion makes us feel “alive”. Men need to “prove” through purposeful achievement or accomplishment. Through purpose there is a feeling of well being and worthy of respect. Valuing, accepting and encouraging each to pursue these achievements fuels pleasure and consumption of future events together.
Worthiness is a necessary component to feel complete with oneself before we are able to be a partner. By gaining approval first only then can we accept ourselves or another person in the context of a relationship. Success in this area increases testosterone levels which increase confidence, mood and interest that leads to physical intimacy. We like who “we are” when being in each others presence.
Don’t restrict them. Base a relationship on purposeful intention to enhance each person’s happiness. Experience “Now”. Become fully grounded in the present moment. By doing so we are more “alive”, more significant and able to fully express ourselves.
Demonstrate respect by being willing to help through valuing, accepting and encouraging to pursue meaningful achievements. In all relationships the impact of our perception of whether the union provides these seeds of growth will determine success or failure of a partnership.
Ann Reichardt earned her Bachelor of Science degree in Nursing and Bachelor of Arts in Art Education. Before retirement, she taught language arts at the secondary level and went on to become a clinical nurse practitioner in the medical, surgical field working in hospital, clinical and public health settings. “The Dance Card” Looking for Love After Divorce is her first published memoir. “The New Dance Card” chronicles her eight-year journey of online dating. Where are they now? Was there success in finding true love? For more information visit www.annreichardt.com. www.loveonthedancefloor.com