Community//

Dating Done Differently: Can you find true love again?

can you find love in your 40s?

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres on our open platform. We publish pieces as written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team and must meet our guidelines prior to being published.

Can you find love after divorce?

I was having a breakfast with a friend one Saturday morning. She looked at me while sipping on her Earl Grey tea and asked me gently, Tatyana, I know you have been through a lot in life…are you ready for dating?..

Of course, I laughed and tried to brush it off,

Maybe, I said..

She suggested I check out one matchmaking agency just for fun and some adventure and oh boy, my life has been full of adventures for the past 5 years. I have been out of the dating scene for a while and as busy as I am, dating was not an option. To be honest it has been as scary as my first time on the ice -skating rink when I was 4 years old…

So…when I got home, I checked the agency’s website and filled out the form to learn more. A sweet lady, Eva, called me one Saturday afternoon. She was pleasant and professional. She asked me lots of thought-provoking questions. She has explained how it worked and added “Tatyana, would it be amazing to have a man just in time for Christmas season and finally find the love of your life? Look at it as your investment in your future life…”

I told her, “Eva, maybe for some women marriage is a contract, a business deal, a social status. For me, it is when you look at him, you know you are together for many seasons of life for better and for worse, in good and bad times. His energy speaks before he talks…you understand him fully. He knows your flaws…”

She added, “You want a quality man who respects and honors you and appreciates your intelligence and wisdom and who loves your independence.”

Right…

But then…she told me the price…

GULP.. Holy Cow…

That is a serious dating deal…

It made me think…” How many women are willing to pay thousands of dollars to find TRUE LOVE?”

Would they rather spend money on themselves, travel, health and change their inner world?

What will motivate a busy, successful woman to spend thousands of dollars to have a handful of dates with the potential love of your life and let a matchmaker control your destiny? Is it a lack of time, desperation or simply fun adventure that they want to spend money on?
Confidential secret information? Privacy and trust?

How many women are afraid of being alone during the Holidays? Or do they cover it up with wine, parties, spas, and never face the reality of being SINGLE and ALONE. Do they bury their pain in their work all the way up to Christmas eve?

Getting back into the dating scene at the age of 45 is like prepping for the war. LOL You have all your shields, stones and escape route maps and scripts of what to say and not to say…you study fashion and style all over again. You realize you are no longer skinny supermodel from the hottest Instagram influencers club.

You are a boss lady, a nurse, a teacher, a chef, a confidante and you are the mom who cleans up the mess after your teens and your favorite fashion outfit is jeans, boots and sweaters with a coffee mug on the go. You are more concerned about your kids haircuts and clean laundry. Your conversations are about losing those extra 30 pounds that you called your old baby weight…

And here you are asked to pay big bucks for LOVE and you must decide..

You want a nice guy. You do not want a looser or a boy who still lives with his momma or pokes you on Facebook or even worse, he sends you sexual comments and you just click BLOCK button over and over again.

You want a successful, confidant, caring, kind, strong man. Clearly, he sounds like a guy from Christmas Hallmark movie.

Do they really exist when you are 45 and fabulous? When you are over 40, you realize you want somebody who will accept your flaws, weirdness, your sense of humor, your obsession with clean folded laundry and crock pot dinners after crazy busy days at work.

Do you really believe that match making can work or do you believe you are going to run into your prince charming at the gym, or your local store? The reality you will probably run away if a strange man starts approaching you at the grocery checkout line.

So now…you have to look under the pillow and see if a match making fairy left three thousand dollars while you were sleeping…

You want your GQ man with Robb Report lifestyle and an intellect of a mad scientist, or like a hottie character Jack in the Virgin River Netflix TV show. You want to feel feminine and awaken your sexuality. You want to feel like a woman and heck…you might have to figure out. Is it really worthy?

What do you think? How expensive is your personal time? Are you willing to have a price tag on your dating life? How much do you think a man should pay for dating services to find YOU? What is your worth?

My dear…no matter what services you use to find your LOVE and SOUL MATE to walk down the aisle with, find yourself first. Change your inner world and maybe, for the first time in your life, spend your money on self-love and self-care practices and then the right man will show up. Remember you are a rare gem. There is NOBODY is like you.

Maybe you feel lost and I am here to help you reignite your fire as your personal life coach. You need to find out who you are so you can have what is meant for you.

But heck if you are lonely for Christmas and New Year night…then why not…Life is lived ONCE. Bust your piggy bank and buy your golden ticket to LOVE LAND.

The fun part is that you can book a complimentary 40 min life coaching session with me on my website www.TatyanaGann.com

Remember love is the state of your mind and miracles do happen.

Love.

Coach T

Advice Anxiety Authority Magazine Business Career Advice Community COVID-19 Creativity Decision Making Education Emotions Entrepreneur Family Happiness Health and Wellness Inspiration Leadership Life Lessons Lifestyle Meditation Mental Health Mindfulness Motivation Parenting Productivity Psychology Purpose Relationships Self-Care Self Improvement Sleep Spirituality Stress Success syndicated Technology Unplug and Recharge Weekly Prompt Well-Being Wellness Wisdom Women Wonder Work Culture Work Smarter

    Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

    You might also like...

    Community//

    The breast cancer – a gift tucked behind my heart.

    by Tatyana Gann
    Photo by pxhere
    Community//

    I Haven’t Had a Date in Eight Years…and I’m OK

    by Beth Bradford
    Community//

    The Spiritual Quest for Love

    by John McElhenney

    Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

    Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

    Thrive Global
    People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

    - MARCUS AURELIUS

    We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.