Highly sensitive people have many advantages. Empathy is one of them; since they can feel other people’s feelings, they can know someone is hurting even if they don’t say anything. It allows them to be there for people who don’t open up and share how they feel. Being able to feel that about people can save someone’s life.
As a part of our series about How To Survive And Thrive As A Highly Sensitive Person, I had the pleasure of interviewing Danielle Ingenito.
Danielle Ingenito is a Master Intuitive Healer, and an expert in Healing After Toxic Relationships. She believes that everyone deserves to feel loved, not only by others but by themselves. She guides her clients through a journey of self-discovery by healing their childhood, building their confidence, and awakening their self-worth.
Danielle’s mission is for every person to know their worth and never settle for another toxic relationship. She combines the power of energy healing and psychology to create a powerful transformation in her From Pain to Power Mentorship program.
Danielle is a certified Psychic, Medium, Reiki Master & Life Coach. She uses her knowledge but, most importantly, her experience to help women heal their lives after toxic relationships.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell our readers a little bit about yourself and what you do professionally?
I have suffered from anxiety my whole life, not realizing what it was until after my first child was born. I had postpartum anxiety, and never knew it. I have been through my ups and downs, including a devastating divorce. Through this challenging time in my life, I started searching for more. My children were 6 &3 at the time, and my Ex-husband was with someone else within a week.
I was so devastated and desperately seeking any way to feel better. I watched so many videos seeking answers, which led me to my Spiritual Awakening. I learned about narcissism and codependency, and everything started to make more sense.
After years of therapy, I still needed something more. I was still struggling with my day-to-day life, always focusing on the negative and continuously getting triggered by my ex-husband. A friend of mine suggested energy healing. I never heard of it before, but I was willing to try anything to have some peace in my life. I had my first session, and it instantly started helping me feel better. I felt a weight lifted off me. It helped so much, that I learned energy healing myself and became an Intuitive Reiki Master.
Through my work as an intuitive energy healer, I realized how sensitive some people are to energy, and started to realize how sensitive I was too. This is where I started identifying myself as a highly sensitive person, my whole life started to make sense. I now teach people all about their energy and how it causes chaos in their lives. I teach my clients how to clear, protect and heal their energy. I specifically love helping women heal after toxic relationships with the power of energy healing.
Thank you for your bravery and strength in being so open with us. I understand how hard this is. Can you help define for our readers what is meant by a Highly Sensitive Person? Does it simply mean that feelings are easily hurt or offended?
I see different definitions of a Highly Sensitive Person, and it can be very confusing to people that can identify as being “too sensitive” or “too emotional. In the work I do I would define a Highly Sensitive Person as someone that is sensitive to energy around them, and tends to take on other people’s feelings & emotions as their own. I have worked with many clients that have been labeled as “too sensitive,” “overdramatic,” or “too emotional.” This leads them to feel like there is something wrong with them. In fact, there is nothing wrong with them they just needed to learn to how to clear and protect their energy.
Let’s bring it back to science. Everything is made up of energy, even us as humans. Our energy field, also known as the aura, holds our thoughts, feelings, & emotions. As a highly sensitive person, we tend to take on other people’s energy. Empaths also take on other people’s energy, but a highly sensitive person takes it to a different level. We feel what someone else is going through, like we are going through it ourselves.
I had a client who cried for days, as a little girl, when she saw a dog die on a tv show. Her parents called her sensitive and didn’t understand why she would cry over a dog she doesn’t know. However, as a highly sensitive child, she felt like it was her dog that died. She took on the family’s emotions of loss and sadness, even though it wasn’t real. This is why Highly Sensitive People are advised to limit their exposure to television.
I would define a Highly Sensitive Person as someone who has their energy field wide open and unprotected. They take on other people’s thoughts, feelings & emotions very easily as their own. This makes them look like they are emotionally sensitive, but in fact, it’s not their emotions they are feeling. They also will get drained if they are subjected to a lot of energy at once.
Does a Highly Sensitive Person have a higher degree of empathy towards others? Is a Highly Sensitive Person offended by hurtful remarks made about other people?
Yes, Highly Sensitive People have a higher degree of empathy for others because they feel like they are going through their situation. They can feel that person’s feelings & emotions. Empathy is about understanding and feeling for someone going through a tough time and sharing a little of those feelings with them. It’s feeling bad when someone’s family member passes away and wishing them your condolences — keeping them in your thoughts and prayers. That would be considered a “normal” amount of empathy. However, with Highly Sensitive People, they will be overly emotional. They will try to help in any way they can and will most likely not be able to stop thinking of them. This is because the energy of the person who has experienced the loss is attached to the Highly Sensitive Person.
As far as hurtful comments, this can trigger a highly sensitive person to feel how that person might feel if receiving that kind of comment. If the comment has not been made yet, they might not be as offended as if they hear the story from the person that received the comment.
Does a Highly Sensitive Person have greater difficulty with certain parts of popular culture, entertainment or news, that depict emotional or physical pain? Can you explain or give a story?
Yes, a Highly Sensitive Person has to be careful with the influence of pop culture, entertainment and news. Our brain does not know the difference between real or fake. So even watching scripted TV shows tricks our brains to think they are real. Therefore, Highly Sensitive People will feel the energy of the characters in the show.
News is one of the biggest culprits of emotions and anxiety with Highly Sensitive People. The news usually has many negative connotations, with stories about scandals, deaths, crimes, and politics. The more negativity you subject yourself to, the greater chance you will take on that energy and feel those emotions.
In March of 2020, when the Pandemic hit and everything shut down here in the USA, people started to panic. The news was flooded with news specials of government officials coming live to address the situations. The death toll was going up, and people felt like they had no control. I had many clients who started to get panic attacks, were very emotional, and suffered from a lot of anxiety. However, they would say they weren’t scared, that the pandemic wasn’t affecting their lives, they didn’t lose their job, or have kids to homeschool. However, they were still feeling this anxiety. I asked if they were watching the news and they had been. The negative energy coming from the news, let’s face it, was all fear based, was affecting their energy. I suggested to stop watching TV and clear their energy. In doing so, they instantly felt better.
Taking control of the influences you have on your mind & energy is very important to protecting your energy as a Highly Sensitive Person.
Can you please share a story about how your highly sensitive nature created problems at work or socially?
As a Healer, I work with many people struggling with anxiety and depression and are in a dark place.
Being a highly sensitive person and working with people who feel that way, I was quickly taking on other people’s energy. Sometimes I would leave a session feeling anxiety or sadness. It would also drain my energy; it would make me feel very sluggish after, even for a few days. Now that I am aware of it, I get healings every week to clear any energy I might take on during sessions..
When did you suspect that your level of sensitivity was above the societal norm? How did you come to see yourself as “too sensitive”?
This is kind of funny because I never considered myself as highly sensitive. I would work with people and say to myself, “Wow, they are very sensitive!” Not until recently did I acknowledge that I was, in fact, highly sensitive myself. I realized how much I do take on other people’s energy. Even when I go to a grocery store or a mall, I will come back excessively drained. I was taking on my children’s energy & my friends. If an argument broke out between people in my life, I would feel that in my energy. Since I became a healer, I always knew I took on other people’s energy here and there, but it has become apparent to me that I am highly sensitive over the past year. Sometimes you can’t see it when you are in it.
I’m sure that being Highly Sensitive also gives you certain advantages. Can you tell us a few advantages that Highly Sensitive people have?
- Highly sensitive people have many advantages. Empathy is one of them; since they can feel other people’s feelings, they can know someone is hurting even if they don’t say anything. It allows them to be there for people who don’t open up and share how they feel. Being able to feel that about people can save someone’s life.
- Highly sensitive people are usually very aware of their own emotions and aren’t afraid to feel or express them. Sometimes they can’t hold them in. In feeling their emotions, it allows them to deeply heal, where people who aren’t highly sensitive tend to shut down their emotions, never getting the healing they need.
- Another advantage of being highly sensitive is being able to manifest very quickly. Manifestation is the ability to create your reality by calling things you desire into your life. It could be things like money, a new job, relationships, a baby, a car, a house, etc. Anything you want, you can have when you connect to the energy of already having it. As a Highly Sensitive Person, it is easy to connect to the energy of the version of you that already has everything you want to manifest. Connecting to this energy will rapidly magnetize your desires to you.
- Using the power of my energy, I manifested the exact house I live in now. I would walk over to the development next to my old house, and I would sit in front of a house that looked like what I wanted. Many of the houses looked alike, but only a few were on the smaller size, which I wanted for my two kids and me. Every day I connected to the energy of living in this house, I could feel how it would be to live here, it was like watching a television show in my mind — doing that every day allowed me to manifest my house and move in a few months later.
Can you share a story from your own life where your great sensitivity was actually an advantage?
I love to focus on the positive side of being a Highly Sensitive Person. I would not be able to help my clients the way I do without having the ability to feel what they are feeling. When healing from toxic relationships, my clients are in a lot of pain and agony. Having the ability to tap into their energy and feel what they feel in our session allows me to connect with them on a deeper level and identify the thought, feelings, and emotions that need the most healing.
The power to feel the energy is an absolute gift when you know how to focus it in the right way.
There seems to be no harm in being overly empathetic. What’s the line drawn between being empathetic and being Highly Sensitive?
The line between being empathetic and highly sensitive is the level of attachment you have to someone’s pain. A “normal” level of empathy is feeling bad for someone and trying to help them cope in whatever way you can. At this level, it does not drastically impact the life of the empathetic person.
The level of empathy that a highly sensitive person drastically impacts their life.
They might be overly emotional, lose sleep at night, get anxious thinking of the person in pain, and spend hours figuring out how to help that person. Again, the highly sensitive person feels like they are going through the pain, so they will obsess over trying to help this person until they know they feel better.
Social Media can often be casually callous. How does Social Media affect a Highly Sensitive Person? How can a Highly Sensitive Person utilize the benefits of social media without being pulled down by it?
Social Media can do a job on a highly sensitive person if they aren’t careful. All the negativity, judgment, and arguments can severely impact their energy. I love being on social media because it can raise your energy when you use it the right way. I have a high vibrational group that inspires others. I tell my clients to unfollow people that are negative in any way. This way, the negative stuff does not come up on their feed. By filling your feed with uplifting, inspiring content will keep your energy at a higher vibration.
How would you respond if something you hear or see bothers or effects you, but others comment that you are being petty or that it is minor?
This is a double-edged sword. I usually don’t engage with something like this anymore because people believe what they want to believe. You can’t change what people believe unless they are open to receiving what you have to say. I no longer try to prove my point to people because it is just a waste of my energy. I accept what their beliefs are, and stand firm in my beliefs, and move on to exert my energy in more positive ways.
I also like to bring it back to awareness and go inward. I ask myself what is triggering me within this comment. Usually, someone’s comment will trigger something from my past that then brings up all these emotions. For example, if someone commented that I was petty, it might trigger when my Mom would say, “you’re too sensitive.” This would bring me right back to those times when I thought there was something wrong with me. If I didn’t control my energy and emotions as I do now, this would cause me to lash out at the person who commented. However, that will only cause me more harm than good, so my best advice would be not to engage with low vibrational people.
What strategies do you use to overcome the perception that others may have of you as overly sensitive without changing your caring and empathetic nature?
I do not try to overcome the perception that other people have of me. I am authentic and vulnerable. I have cried on social media and I don’t try to hold it back. Instead of worrying about what other people perceive me to be, I accept myself for who I am. I love being highly sensitive, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I feel sorry for the people who can’t feel their emotions. Highly Sensitive People have nothing to be ashamed of, we come from a world that leads us to believe that it is not okay to show our emotions, but it’s time for that to change. If everyone were allowed to feel the way they do and not be ashamed of it, our world would be a much better place. Some people hide their emotions, which turns into anger and rage, creating the world we live in now. I work with many people who were not allowed to show emotions or care too much when they were younger, and it cripples their adult lives. Stay true to who you are, and let other people think what they want.
What other people think of you is none of your business. ~Unknown
What are the “myths” that you would like to dispel about being a Highly Sensitive Person? Can you explain what you mean?
- A myth of highly sensitive people is that they are weak. Their over-sensitivity leads people to believe they are weak and can’t stand up for themselves. This is not true; I have worked with high-achieving, highly sensitive women, that are kicking butt in their lives and careers!
- Another myth is that all Highly Sensitive People are introverts. They are considered shy and like to stay at home. They might like to stay at home because it protects their energy, but many of them are go-getters and want to make this world a better place by sharing their gift as a highly sensitive person. I see them all over social media, including myself, changing this world with their messages!
- The last myth that I would love to dispel is that you can’t change from being “overly sensitive”; that’s just the way you are. This is not true; learning how to protect and clear your energy and let go of a lot of shame & guilt from your past will decrease the intensity of the emotions you feel. Learning to love and accept yourself fully will help you gain control over your emotions and your energy. If being highly sensitive is negatively affecting your life, you can do something about it.
As you know, one of the challenges of being a Highly Sensitive Person is the harmful, and dismissive sentiment of “why can’t you just stop being so sensitive?” What do you think needs to be done to make it apparent that it just doesn’t work that way?
We need to educate people on energy.
People shy away & judge things they don’t understand. The dismissive statement of “why can’t you just stop being so sensitive” comes from a place of that person not being able to handle someone that is emotional or not understanding of what’s going on.
We come from a world where crying was cringed upon. It shows weakness, especially as a male.
We need to educate people on what’s going on with Highly Sensitive People, including HSP’s themselves. Understanding energy is vital to gaining control of your emotions. Learning how to protect and clear your energy will change everything around the negative perception that HSP’s have on themselves and how others see them.
Teaching non-highly sensitive people about their energy will help them understand why HSP’s “can’t just stop being so sensitive” when there are so many people out there with low vibrational energy. If people start changing their energy, HSP’s might have a better chance of not being so sensitive. An excellent place to start would be parents of highly sensitive children. If they allow their children to have their emotions and support them instead of judging them, HSP’s perception of themselves will drastically change. Then they can stand in their truth and not have to hide who they are or how they feel. Our children have the ability to change the perception of highly sensitive people.
Ok, here is the main question for our discussion. Can you share with us your “5 Things You Need To Know To Survive And Thrive As A Highly Sensitive Person? Please give a story or an example for each.
5 Things You Need To Know To Survive And Thrive As A Highly Sensitive Person
- There is Nothing Wrong with You. All the comments when people didn’t understand what you were feeling, doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you.
- You are taking on other people’s energy as your own. All the emotions you have ever felt were not always yours, you could have been taking on other people’s energy & emotions.
- You have control over your energy and your emotions. Many say you have to accept this as a personality trait, and it will never change. This is absolutely not change, I see it every day. You can learn how to protect and clear your energy which will stop you feeling over emotional all the time. I am living proof of this.
- Clearing & Protecting Your Energy needs to be a daily practice. As a Highly Sensitive Person, you need to make sure you are taking daily actions to protect yourself from lower vibrational energy. Stop watching TV, surround yourself with high vibes, and self-cleansing and protecting is a must on a daily basis. Don’t worry that only takes a few minutes.
- Being a Highly Sensitive Person is a Gift. Be proud to be a highly sensitive person! It is a gift that not many people have, it allows you manifest things into your life if you know how to focus your energy on the right things.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
I would inspire the Movement “Spark Your Energy,” where people learn to understand and shift their energy which will change how we deal with mental health today. By understanding, clearing, protecting, and healing our energy, we change the way we think and how we feel. We can let go of anxiety and depression with energy work instead of prescriptions. Energy Healing is now being recognized for its benefits in science, so the knowledge of energy is on the rise.
How can our readers follow you online?
I look forward to connecting with you! Tell me you saw this article for a Free Deep Energy Clearing Meditation!
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.