It can be incredibly difficult to get back up and keep trying when you make a mistake or fail at something.
The way I see it, however, is that nothing happens when we decide not to try again. We neither learn nor make mistakes that might allow us to successfully grow and evolve as humans. Getting back up and trying allows us to keep learning and understanding. We can reframe the narrative surrounding making mistakes into slowly mastering a key aspect of a craft.
Ready to get back on the horse? This is the mindset you’ll need if you’re ready to try again.
Process your feelings
Transformational executive coach and CEO Magalie René is a big believer in jumping right back on the horse after falling off. However, she does advise taking a moment to process your feelings before getting back in the saddle.
It takes resilience to succeed. Much of that resilience is built through our unique experiences. Processing our feelings about rejection allows us to experience the disappointment of a loss. At the same time, it allows us to acknowledge how strong we are. Understanding our strengths and capabilities matters when we decide we are ready to try again.
“Self-acknowledgement is a powerful and underutilized way to build confidence,” René says. “That confidence will have you taking even bigger leaps for bigger wins in the future.”
Be your own hype person through self-affirmations
Once you feel ready to start again, writer and life coach Chelsea Austin recommends becoming your own hype person.
How do you do that? Austin advises writing down “I am” phrases. Phrases like the ones listed below can be written on sticky notes and placed in spots where you’re able to see them.
- I am strong.
- I am confident.
- I am powerful.
- I am resilient.
Repeat these phases until the self-affirmations start to (literally) stick and you begin believing in their truth.
“Whatever adjectives you want to be, speak them as if you are those things already,” Austin says. “When you notice yourself slipping into feelings of not-enoughness, turn to these phrases and you will start to feel ready to start again.”
Engage in activities you love
Need an extra confidence boost? How about partaking in an activity you love and that makes you feel good?
Tracy Nathanson, LCSW and founder of Pace of Mind Therapy, says it can be helpful to engage in activities that boost your self-esteem. These same activities, Nathanson says, can also give us the chance to hit pause. Try mindfulness and present-based activities like meditation, yoga, and walking for a refresh to hit the spot.
Talk with loved ones
It can be easy to feel alone after a failure. Rather than ruminate and replay a failure over and over in our heads, take a moment to talk to loved ones. Trusted family, friends, and colleagues will be happy to listen to your experience and offer guidance.
“When we share feelings, we feel less alone, and more supported and validated,” Nathanson says. “Encouraging words and advice can go a long way and help you think and feel differently about yourself and the situation.”
Trust your timing
One behavior that helps build confidence and interrupts fear is to trust your timing.
“Nothing happens before it is time,” René says. “Trust that your efforts, your dedication, and your commitment are paying off.”
As you focus on trusting your timing, René adds that now is the time to choose action over perfection. It’s also time to celebrate everything — big and small wins alike — because success is a byproduct of joy. The more we focus on success, fear has fewer opportunities to interrupt the narrative.
“What you focus on is what grows.” René notes. “Get busy doing something you love and your mind won’t have time to focus on the failure.”